Friday, March 26, 2021

TRANSFORMATION AND REBIRTH

 

This is gonna be one of those posts where I start off with an idea and just see where my mind takes me, because I’ve always been a fan of the notion of transformation and rebirth.  I’m not alone in that of course: in fact, I imagine it’s the majority opinion.  It’s why the Rocky series is so popular: everyone loves a training montage where someone goes from zero to hero.  We love seeing people, cultures, entities, things transform and become reborn into something greater, to the point that many folks out there are walking around with a somewhat unrealistic expectation of just WHAT exactly entails in the process of radical physical transformation.  It unfortunately will take MUCH longer than a few weeks of intense training ala Rocky to transform from a tub of goo into a champion boxer, BUT, it’s also worth observing that every year various branches of the military are able to transform raw civilian recruits into effective soldiers in a rather brief timeline through basic training or boot camp (depending on your branch).  And that’s actually a pretty solid seque into where I want to go with this, in that the intensity of the transformation process is an indicator of the magnitude of the rebirth: harder process, better result.



Keep in mind part of this process involved spending months digging himself out of the temple...


 

Anyone who is at all familiar with me knows that I am quick to suggest 2 programs when asked for hypertrophy programs: Super Squats and Jon Andersen’s Deep Water program.  The reason for these suggestions are many fold.  The first being, of course, that they’re INCREDIBLY effective programs for achieving hypertrophy.  These programs make you grow, and primarily for the very reason I outlined earlier: they’re skull splittingly intense and FORCE adaptations to occur.  You can dork around on PHUL/PHAT/Starting Strength/Stronglifts/Juggernaut/5/3/1/Westside Barbell/DoggCrapp etc etc, through no fault of these programs, but Super Squats and Deep Water both have pre-programmed methodologies that result in some radical transformations.  The other reason I suggest these programs is I WISH I had known about them MUCH earlier in my own training.  Both of these programs had a completely and total transformative effect on me, physically AND otherwise, and had I had knowledge of them earlier in my own training, that transformation could have happened much earlier and, in turn, guided me along my own path for a much longer time.  I could have been “reborn” at a much earlier point in my own training timeline, meaning that training efforts applied after said rebirth would have had even more significant impacts.

 

Hey, wanna go full nerd here: this is like being able to force the evolution of your Pokemon with a stone.  If you have a buddy that’s further ahead in the game than you are, you can trade them your Pokemon, have them force evolve it for you, then trade it back to you and you can just start wrecking stuff SO much earlier in the game than if left to your own devices.  And then it self-perpetuates: you’re overpowered early in the game, which allows you to mudstomp everything you come across, which gets you easy experience and cash, which you can then re-invest into further growing your abilities.  Being transformed early self-perpetuates further transformations early, and allows power to accumulate faster and sooner.  It’s a complete and total no-brainer.




Ash is one of those "natty for life" that's REALLY hamstringing himself in the competition circuit...

 

Because it’s not just about how these programs transform you physically, though they WILL do just that, with Deep Water in particular having a seemingly major impact on my physique that has lasted long since I last ran the program, but they transform YOU.  Suddenly YOU’RE the person that completed Super Squats and/or Deep Water: you become separated from the herd and part of a far smaller and more “elite” group.  Going back to the military, everyone has graduated basic/boot in order to become a lifter, but you just endure special forces selection.  You’re different now: changed, evolved, transformed and reborn into something better, harder and stronger.  And being able to apply this transformed “you” to more mundane training will mean far better results compared to trying to employ a lesser “you”.  The thunderbolt from Riachu is FAR more powerful than the one from Pikachu.  Man I’m a nerd, but those of you that got the reference most likely appreciate it.

 

Think about what a guy that has completed the full Super Squats program can do to a DoggCrapp widowmaker compared to a trainee that’s never done a single set of 20 breathing squats.  BBB 5x10 squats are just HALF of a Deep Water workout.  The Grace WOD really doesn’t feel so bad when you hit 50 cleans during Deep Water advanced.  An 800lb yoke is ONLY on your back for about 30 seconds compared to the 5 minutes you had the bar there during Super Squats.  Etc etc.  Getting this transformation and rebirth accomplished early has SO many benefits to a trainee, and amazingly enough, BOTH of these specific programs have a long standing heritage OF being programs by/for newer trainees. 




This is who was running Deep Water at the beginning...you got this

 


I frequently get asked the question “is this appropriate for a novice trainee”, or, if the question isn’t asked, I get TOLD “these programs aren’t appropriate for a novice”, but if you actually go and READ the source material you’ll see that’s blatantly not true.  Yes: it should not be used by someone that has literally NEVER lifted a weight before: go run Starting Strength for 12 weeks and learn how to lift weights.  That’s fine.  Once we are past that point, we can start transforming.  The Super Squats book talks about trainees that ran the program using tree limbs braced against a shed to form squat stands and squatting with a massive 35 POUNDS to trigger the intended training effect.  Jon Andersen wrote about how he developed the core of his program as a fat high school freshman with zero athletic foundation whatsoever: he just kept digging as deep as he could to find as much pain as possible in order to grow. 

 

Don’t try to tell me that a power clean is complicated: high school freshmen manage to do them every year in preparation for football season.  I did my first ever power clean with a barbell IN a strongman competition and manage to get the weight from the floor to my chest: somehow you’ll manage I am sure.  Don’t try to tell me that behind the neck barbell presses will give you cancer: somehow it was literally the ONLY way we knew how to press decades ago.  These are just the terrified excuses a brain comes up with when it’s not READY to transform, but that’s kind of the point: if you wait until you’re ready, it’s too late.  Part of the rebirth process is facing these challenges BEFORE we’re ready for them such that we NEED to transform in order to succeed.  Hey, let’s go full nerd again as well: this is going Super Sayian.  Some sort of horrible emotional tragedy needs to occur such that we are pushed to a breaking point that forces us to become something significantly stronger in order to endure and overcome.  It can’t be because we want it, in fact, it has to be something we DON’T want.  Outside of being a masochist, if you’re wanting this sort of training, you’re simply not training hard enough.  I dreaded every single workout of Super Squats, and after I finished that 20th rep, I’d rack the bar and, instead of feeling victory, just feel immediate dread that I’d have to do it all over again with 5 more pounds in 2 days.  During Deep Water, in between sets 6 and 7 of squats, during the 2 minutes I had to rest, while I was laying on my floor in my gym, I seriously, legitimately, contemplated quitting lifting all together and selling my entire home gym because I HATED the training so much, and once I racked the bar on the final rep of the final set I’d start a mental countdown timer for the next 13 days and 23 hours until I had to do it all over again. 



Yeah pretty much

 


THESE are the things necessary for intense rebirth: an intense transformation process.  And experiencing that rebirth early allows you to absolutely crush the future.  Seek these opportunities, embrace them, and be ready to be different when it is over.

Thursday, March 18, 2021

YOU DON’T WANT IT TO BE EASIER/STOP F**KING UP SUPER SQUATS

  

The title of this blog post could have gone on even further, to include “read a goddamn book” too, because inevitably, 100% of the time, without exception, every single time a trainee screws up Super Squats, it’s because they won’t spend $10 and an afternoon to read ONE book that literally contains all the answers and information they need in order to succeed on the 6 week adventure they’re about to undertake.  This blows my f**king mind.  I literally can’t fathom the decision making process, because it’s so backwards.  So you’re going to spend $120 in milk and significant amounts in food and 18+ hours in training over the course of 6 weeks, but you can’t pony up another $10 and 2-ish hours at the front end to ensure that all of that money and time is spent CORRECTLY?  It’s like saving up to buy an Indy car only to drive it off a cliff because you never took into consideration that you live on an island with no straight-away.  An ounce of prevention is a pound of cure and all that.  Man, I’m not even writing an intro at this point, so I’m just gonna jump into the middle here: when it comes to getting bigger and stronger, you don’t WANT it to be easier.



Do things the hard way long enough and they'll name a shrug after you


 

So again, how does this tie in?  Because one of the big things I see people screw up about Super Squats is failing to understand that these are 20 BREATHING squats.  They’re not just a straight set of 20 squats. This isn’t a widowmaker from DoggCrapp that was later co-opted by Jim Wendler (who gives credit to Dante, before people construe that to be an accusation of theft): that’s an entirely DIFFERENT training protocol.  The squat in Super Squats/20 rep squats is a BREATHING squat, which means, between EVERY rep, the trainee takes (at LEAST) 3 of the DEEPEST breaths they’ve ever taken in their lives, breathing deep into their CHESTS and exhaling forcefully and THEN they squat.  Yes, I realize I used the capslock on that previous sentence a whole bunch, but trust me: I needed to, because trainees keep f**king this up.  IF trainees even employ any manner of the breathing squat, it tends to be accidental, done at the end of the set simply because the set became difficult, but that’s NOT the point: those breaths needed to be taken from rep ONE.  It goes ONE-breathe-breathe-breathe-TWO-breathe-breathe-breathe-etc.  What do we notice about such a protocol?  It’s going to make these squats take a LONG time.  Yes: that is THE point. You WANT that bar on your back for a long time: you don’t WANT this to be easier.

 

And folks, I have been called ALL sorts of nasty names for saying this.  I’ve had people tell me I clearly misunderstood the book…even those these same people hadn’t actually read the book.  I’ve had people question if I was SURE that’s what the book said.  I’ve had people tell me that it doesn’t matter as long as you get the breaths in at the end.  All of this is simply people experiencing cognitive dissonance once they realize WHY this program has such a reputation for being so brutal: because it really IS.  Simply going from 1-20 is easy compared to FORCING yourself to pause between EVERY single rep from the get go.  Holding that bar on your back becomes MISERY when you do it for 6 minutes vs 1.5.  And that’s to say nothing of the belief the older times had that these deep breaths into your ribs were what forced your ribcage to expand.  It’s ALSO why you’re supposed to follow up the squats with a set of LIGHT pull overs: to further expand that ribbox.  Whether that is possible or not is immaterial: if you didn’t read the book, you don’t have that understanding, and, in turn, are embarking on a journey by starting on the WRONG road.  This would be like turning east at the start of the Oregon trail.



This was a terrible way to end John Candy's AMAZING legacy

 


“You don’t want it to be easy/read a goddamn book” goes even further with other programs too.  Every single time I hear someone say that 5/3/1 doesn’t have enough volume, I ask the same question: “What are you doing for conditioning?”.  70% of the time, I get crickets.  20% of the time, they ask if I mean cardio.  10% of the time, they’re walking their dog.  Yeah: I TOO find that, when I only do HALF of a program, it doesn’t have enough volume.  And people would know that if they read the book instead of tried to piece together a jillion forum posts to figure out WHAT 5/3/1 is, and would once again save time and money in the long run.  All these attempts to save are just bleeding into overall costs AND resulting in worse results: it’s the ultimate shooting of oneself in the foot.  And meanwhile, notice how cutting out conditioning is the easy way out, yet again?  Lifting weights is easy: you get to take breaks in the middle of it.  Hell, you get to lie down when you bench press.  Conditioning sucks.  That’s the point of it: it gets you conditioned to things sucking so that, when you experience things that suck, you are ready for it.

 

This is such an easy guiding principle for physical transformation, I’ve even gone so far to detail it by the amazing Jack LaLane quote of “If it tastes good, spit it out”.  Do you find yourself making changes to how you train or how you eat and suddenly things are easier?  Do you imagine you somehow made things MORE effective by doing that?  What produces physical change?  It’s the body reacting to a demand, SPECIFICALLY, a demand to adapt to a new stimulus.  And typically, this stimulus is trauma.  This tends to mean that the body needs to experience suffering in some capacity, and the more significant the suffering, the greater the stimulation, which means the greater the impact.  So when given the option to breathe between EVERY rep vs only the end reps, which one do you think is actually going to be more effective?  Hey, remember when I pointed out that touch and go was HARDER for deadlifts vs dead stops?  Funny thing that.  And, of course, I know some people are going to be stupid about what I’m writing here and act like it’s a charge to use terrible technique to put you at stupid mechanical disadvantages to make things “harder” so you can get injured and call me an idiot: more power to you, your intentional misunderstanding bettered us both.  For the rest of us, think about the cardio adaptation principle: the better you get an activity, the less taxing it is, which means, as far as promoting physical change goes, the WORSE of a choice it is.



Just wanted to redeemed John Candy and showcase a 96oz steak

 


Seek to do the things that are MORE difficult, which includes READING a book before you start training.  Amazingly enough, doing these more difficult things will give you an easier time getting results.

Sunday, March 14, 2021

SELF-LOATHING OR SELF-PITY

 


Today’s blog comes by way of @flappinit over at t-nation, which, if I may take a moment to gush, is definitely on my list of names if I get to pick teams for the apocalypse (future blogpost idea).  In brief summary, this dude started running Building the Monolith a week before the world shut down for COVID, and rather than take that as a sign it wasn’t meant to be, he BUILT his own gym using cement buckets and 2x4s for squat stands along with an amalgamation of saw horses, a hand built bench, and various odds and ends of assembled weight sets in order to still crush the program, while ALSO still eating the dozen eggs a day and 1.5lbs of meat while the world was frantically stockpiling supplies, ONLY to go on to run Deep Water immediately afterwards.  We could all stand to have a little more of that in our lives. 



F**k your excuses


Anyway, Flappinit made the observation that there is a stark difference between self-loathing and self-pity, and many confuses the latter for the former, and this observation is HUGE and absolutely true.   This distinction becomes imperative in my previous discussions regarding willpower.  Ultimately, I don’t believe in the idea of willpower: I believe all humans will only do the things they WANT to do, and from there it’s simply a question of finding out what people REALLY want vs what they say they want.  Herein is where self-loathing comes into play: the person with the most self-loathing will have the most “willpower” as it relates to doing the things that result in physical transformation, as these people will simply WANT physical transformation more than other people will.  If one is satisfied with their current physique, they aren’t going to do anything to make it better: satisfaction breeds complacency.  If someone is marginally unsatisfied with their physique, they’re most likely not going to have much willpower when it comes to pursuing physical change.  They’ll go for a brisk walk or so some push ups, but that’s about it.  But the people that absolutely hate their current state and envision something much more significant out of themselves, THESE people will have endless willpower.  They will squat until a lung ruptures, pull a 17 second deadlift that ruptures every bloodvessel in their face, and vomit blood during a conditioning workout, because the gulf between what they ARE and what they want to be is SO massive that it results in an unfathomable amount of self-loathing, where the ONLY cure is physical transformation.

 

This self-loathing is NOT self-pity.  The latter, in fact, has the complete reverse effect: it is a surrendering, rather than a call to arms.  When one self-pities, they merely LAMENT their current status: they do not RESENT it.  Oh sure, they may use similar language as the self-loather, but the spirit and intent behind that language is different.  The self-pittier says “I hate my genetics” and uses that as a justification for being “less than”, whereas the self-loather says “I hate my genetics’ and views this as THE reason why they must work SO much harder than everyone else.  Their genetics are just one more thing in the way of them realizing the greatness that they’ve already established that they are DUE, and, in turn, they will absolutely destroy that obstacle, because their self-loathing is so great it propels them onward.  The self-pittier says “I have a fast metabolism” and simply believes that to be enough of a “reason” for their failure: the self-loather is busy drinking a gallon of milk a day and going through a loaf of bread and a jar of peanut butter every day with all the sandwiches they’re putting away.  They HATE what they are SO much that they’re taking EXTREME measures to fix it: the self-pittier falls into depression and does nothing.




"That's my secret Cap"...

 


And we see the “yin/yang” here: loathing and pity are opposites, where the former is anger and the latter is depression.  And yes, from a mental health perspective, balance is ideal, and we’d like to aim to avoid all that, but there IS something to be said about mental health being improved when one’s physical image is in harmony with their mental image OF said physical image.  And the two possible avenues to address that are to alter one’s mental image (lower your expectations) or to alter your physical image THROUGH the process of transformation, in which case, we NEED that anger to get us to eventually reach a state of peace.  Depression is spiraling and self-perpetuating: you can pretty much always get more depressed until you reach “the end”.  Anger is ultimately not sustainable: one can’t be angry all the time.  It’s exhausting.  It’s why the Barbarian rage in DnD has a finite duration and results in fatigue when it’s done (BOOM, still got my nerd cred).  But this, in turn, is why we rely on anger to get us to peace: eventually the anger runs out BECAUSE we finally got to the image we needed to have.  We no longer NEED that willpower, because we got where we needed to be.  No one is going to pity themselves there: it’s going to take an immense amount of self-loathing until we’re finally ready to NOT hate what we are compared to what we could be.

 

Take a vector check and see where you fall on the spectrum.  Do you have pity or do you have loathing?  Do you wish you were better, or will you accept nothing BUT being better?  Do you choose passivity or activity?  Do you find excuses or challenges and obstacles?  Is the world out to get you, or is it you VS the world?  The two can NOT be confused for each other, and those that attempt to do so are doomed to fall into a vicious cycle of self-perpetuation and failure.  The only escape, the only solution, is the white hot anger of loathing, KNOWING that greatness is out there: it just needs to be obtained through skull splitting brutality, spurred on by the “willpower” that results from a wide gulf between what we ARE and what would could be.

Friday, March 5, 2021

HOW LONG HAVEN’T YOU BEEN TRAINING?

 What I’m writing about these days is most likely a reflection of the New Year’s season having rolled around and the variety of topics that tend to generate during that timeframe and, once again, I find many people seem to be approaching these topics from the completely wrong angle.  We’re in the third month of the new year as of my writing this, and now comes the season of disappointment, where trainees flock to the internet to try to find out “what am I doing wrong?”  “Guys, I’ve been training hard for TWO MONTHS, my nutrition is totally on point, I’m on the right program du jour written by the most current Mr Wonderful: why do I still look like 5 gallons of melted ice cream in a paper bag?”  These people, and the super helpful denizens on the internet ready to turn them on to the latest and greatest scientific studies out there fail to recognize the issue.  Let’s not focus on how long you’ve been training: let’s find out how long you HAVEN’T been training!



Sometimes it's more obvious than others


 

It is critical to discover how long one has been neglecting regular physical exercise, because “neglect” is the correct verb to employ here.  When one does not regularly exercise, they do not simply exist in a statue of neutrality: they exist in a state of active neglect. The body was intended to engage in some manner of activity and locomotion: it was NOT intended to be an agent of rest.  And yes: the survival mechanisms of the body PREFER that the body not be exerted, but that’s also because that same body was operating under the premise that EVENTUALLY AND REGULARLY some manner of physical activity would NEED to be engaged in, so it would seek to conserve energy when outside of those demands.  This is why naps and fatty foods are awesome and lettuce and running marathons suck.  HOWEVER, the modern lifestyle has made it such that these regular physical demands of seeking food, safety and shelter are non-existent, whereas meanwhile we are still conserving SO much energy…for what?

 

All your time spent NOT regularly training was no longer providing you the benefit of “resting for the kill” and, instead, was very much a detriment to your physical ability.  You effective dug yourself into a hole with every day you spent NOT engaging in regular exercise.  In turn, when you finally START engaging in regular exercise, you are not “starting from zero”: you are starting from NEGATIVE.  When you see someone on the street with a cardboard sign and you give them $20, they are now $20 in the black: when you find someone that’s $400k IN DEBT and give them $20, they STILL have no money.  Those of you that have been NOT exercising are in the latter category: your body is in physical DEBT, and each workout you do is simply paying off debt.  And you need to pay off that debt BEFORE you can start actually “making money”.



This is the level some of you need to aspire to GET to


 

And for many, this is a horrifying prospect, because some folks are in a LOT of debt.  Some folks have legitimately NEVER exercised for their entire life.  For people that grew up in my generation, it’s an unfathomable prospect, but it’s true.  Let’s remember that I was a fat kid growing up (I always specify I was “90s fat kid fat”, which was chubby/husky, vs current day fat kid fat, which is clinically obese with rolls), and from age 4-17 I participated in t-ball, soccer, swimming, ice hockey,, Tae Kwon Do, football, wrestling, and weight training, along with having regular physical education classes through middle and high school AND regularly engaging in physical play with my friends.  The REAL athletes were putting away MUCH crazier schedules than I was.  Meanwhile, I know of people that have reached the age of adulthood and have never run a mile in their life.  How much physical training do you think you’re going to need to do in order to undo 18 years of NOT training?

 

And this NEEDS to be discussed, because everyone normalizes their own upbringing to the point that they’re blind to just how weird it really is.  Similar to how, when you were a kid and visited someone elses’ house the first time it smelled “wrong” because it was different than your house and you wondered how these people can not notice how weird their home is, people that spent their whole adolescence (and young adulthood) NOT exercising just assume that’s the norm for everyone such that, when they start training and don’t see the incredible results that “everyone else is getting”, the gears start turning in all the wrong ways.  And the ONLY conclusion that is EVER drawn is one of genetics.  I’m lumping low testosterone in with that one as well, because they’re both effectively the same answer: it’s something outside of my control that I am cursed with that is totally unfair.  Look: if you wanna blame your parents for your physical shortcomings, blame them for not forcing you to go play a sport and not teaching you how to cook like a human: not for your DNA.  That’s still pretty weaksauce anyway, but at LEAST it’s closer to getting to the root cause of the issue.  The people you see blowing up in short order are the folks that started off at ZERO: you started off in debt.  Until you pay off that debt, you’re going to be behind the curve.



For reference, my parents taught me how to "make" these so I could have breakfast on weekends while they slept in...somehow I survived


 

This ALSO means that many “beginner prescriptions” aren’t going to work, because, again, this is such a WEIRD paradigm for most of us that are involved in the world of physical training that, when WE think of a beginner trainee, we think of a trainee that, though a beginner to lifting weights, aren’t a total beginner to simply exercising.  If you missed out on playing outside as a kid, you need to start playing outside as an adult.  And me saying this pisses off a LOT of REAL beginners, because the sheer aspect of playing a sport for 6 months before you actually start exercising offends people at some sort of basic primordial level and I get informed that I just don’t “get it” and that OF COURSE someone can just start lifting weights with no physical background whatsoever.  Inevitably, these dudes run a beginner program for 3 years, achieve a 70lb press, put on a bunch more bodyfat, can’t do a chin up, and start asking about running steroids.  If you spent your whole life NOT exercising, you need to get in shape BEFORE you can start exercising. 

 

All that time spent not exercising has resulted in you being sub-human: you need to get back to human before you go for super-human.

 

BONUS RANT

You know, the above was a great way to end the post, but let me just keep the fire going here.  Wanna know what’s cool about being someone that HASN’T stopped moving since they were a kid?  My body is ALWAYS ready to physically perform, because that is the “normal” for it.  It’s always BEEN moving, so it’s always ready TO move.  This is why I don’t need to do any mobility or stretching work, despite the entire internet ASSURING me that it’s THE most important part of training.  It’s why I can go from waking up to squatting in 5 minutes without some sort of elaborate voodoo ritual involving bands, balls, chains, floss, foam rollers, LAX balls, etc etc.  It’s why the only warm up I do in a strongman comp is 3 reps of the first implement without any weight on it before I say “this is stupid” and sit down.  Once again, people will boil this down to being simply “luck” or genetics or an instance where injury is JUST around the corner or that I’ll regret it one day, because these people can’t fathom a world where they never STOPPED moving.  There’s SO much benefit to regular and CONSISTENT exercise that you do yourself a grave and significant disservice whenever you stop engaging in it.