Once again, it’s incredible how those OUTSIDE the realm of physical transformation understand the process SO much better than those of us inside of it, proof of concept enough that we “get this” on an instinctual, primal, lizard brain level, and it takes the kind of hubris and stupidity that can only be produced by humans to convince ourselves that there is a “better way”. In today’s diatribe, I reference the phenomenal 80s movie “Conan The Barbarian”, inspired by the works of Robert Howard and his “Conan the Cimmerian” stories, but I wish to make the distinction that I am SPECIFICALLY referring to this movie in this instance. If you have NOT seen this movie: stop reading right now and go watch it. It is your birthright to do so, and it will also make it that this post does not spoil anything. This movie chronicles Conan’s beginnings, including the ransacking of his village as a child, his being taken into slavery, being forced to fight in the pits for his life, and his eventual escape from slavery and journeys as a dangerous man seeking vengeance for the slaughter of his people. It was a breakthrough role for Arnold, has a banging soundtrack, and viewing it is an anabolic experience. But, specifically, I want to focus on that early part of the film, for, within it, the filmmakers actually laid out for the viewers a FANTASTIC protocol for physical transformation, which, somehow, we all overlooked, forgot, and reversed. Conan undergoes a process of developing a BROAD physical base to build from before he goes through a process of specialization to become an incredibly dangerous man, yet so many trainees want to either do this in reverse or completely skip the first part.
Just like skipping leg day |
When Conan is first captured and sold into slavery, he is
put to work on the “Wheel of Pain”, which is one of the most iconic scenes in
80s barbarian film history (which may sound incredibly niche, but is actually a
pretty well fleshed out genre of film).
It’s not really stated what the intent is behind this wheel: it’s simply
an apparatus that slaves/prisoners are chained to that they push laboriously,
day in and day out, with no rest in sight.
The mechanics of it are not unlike a prowler: there’s no eccentric load,
you just set your hips and shoulders and push for all you’re worth. Over the years, we watch Conan’s development
laboring under this wheel, going from a scrawny boy into a powerfully built
man, each day and each repetition lending itself toward developing a powerful
and massive physique: the result of much general toil with no real specific
intention behind it. And, once his time
on the wheel has been deemed adequate by outside observers, Conan faces his
second phase: time in the pits.
Now a fully grown man (“grown” here emphasized, because god
DAMN did he get big), Conan is thrown into the pits in order to fight for his
life and the fortune of those who wager upon him. His captors are banking on the premise that
Conan’s time under the wheel has given him the physical advantages necessary to
be able to take on all comers, for when you observe HOW Conan fights initially,
it is clearly the work of an untrained savage (dare I say: a barbarian). He fights primal and feral, like a caged animal
backed into a corner and forced to defend itself. He bites, gouges, grabs, smashes, and
oafishly clubs and swings whatever weapons he manages to acquire. As time goes on, we see Conan start to
develop his own style and approach to combat.
He takes that raw, physical talent of his and is able to sharpen it to a
finer point through frequent repetition, practice, refinement, and testing of
concepts under the most rigorous possible testing field one could engage in:
quite literal “succeed or die” situations.
Much like how, under the era of Miyamoto Musashi, inferior swordfighting
styles were weeding by means of killing to owner of the style to prevent it’s
flourishing, there was no room for significant error under Conan’s pitfighting
phase of training, and lessons had to be learned quickly in order to continue
to thrive. It was from here that Conan
entered his final phase of training: specificity.
Just in case you legit have no idea what I'm talking about
Yes, after enough time in the pits fighting as a barbarian
and developing the basics of combat, Conan’s captures saw fit to get him some
REAL training, in order to take that edge he had developed and turn it razor
sharp. We observe him receiving
personalized sword instruction from a master instructor, no longer relying on
instinct and savagery, but instead learning about technique, precision,
efficiency and maximizing capabilities.
It is at the end of this phase that Conan has reached “peak dangerous”:
he has all the raw physical strengths granted to him from the Wheel of Pain,
the savagery, aggression and instincts granted to him by his time fighting in
the pits, and the technique, skill and proficiency afforded to him by direct,
one-on-one expert level training and coaching.
WHICH IS SUCH AN OBVIOUS WAY TO DO THINGS! It’s so obvious that fantasy authors and
script writers managed to figure it out without ANY advanced education in the
realm of physical transformation, yet you have individuals who dare to refer to
themselves as coaches that are out there trying to convince new trainees that
they need to START with specialization and MAYBE consider building up some GPP
when they run into a stall. Jesus Christ
how are we this stupid? Everyone who
WATCHED Conan the Barbarian ALSO totally understood what was going on, and yet
we, who call ourselves “ironheads” or “meatheads” or “strength athletes” or
“athletes” or any other term expressing our interest, love and passion for
physical transformation somehow convinced ourselves that the most obvious
approach to physical transformation was wrong and that flipping it on its head
would somehow get us where we wanted to go.
Learn from Conan: he had it totally figured out. I upset a LOT of folks on the internet when
they ask what they should do to start lifting and I say “Go play a sport for 6
months”, but it’s the absolute truth: if you have NO athletic base, you need to
develop that FIRST before you start touching barbells. It’s taken for granted that a trainee will
have such an athletic base, but we currently live in a world where a human can
grow to an adult at the age of 18 having NEVER played any manner of sport
during that time, and some of these individuals never engaged in any sort of
basic outside play either. No running,
jumping, swimming, swinging, crawling, etc etc.
What happens when you throw this adult into the pits? They get killed within the first 10 seconds:
they have NO physical attributes to rely on to allow them an opportunity to
discover and refine their inherent savagery.
We need to get in shape BEFORE we get in shape.
And again, if you HAD that sports background, it would make
total sense to you. When you show up out
of shape, you aren’t able to spend the time necessary to develop the reps to
develop the skills, because you gas out too quickly in practice. If you’ve ever attended a martial arts class,
you’ll see this first hand: folks aren’t able to do the drill for the day to
develop their skills because they’re winded and their muscles are tired. Whatever reps they DO drill are sloppy and
reinforcing bad technique. It’d be
similar to trying to learn to shoot freethrows after doing 500 lateral raises:
your shoulders are just junked up and you can’t get the mechanics right. But if you get yourself in good shape first
(like, generally prepared to do physical stuff…GPP?), when it comes time to
learn the skills, you’ll be able to focus on JUST learning those skills, AND
you’ll be able to apply all your physical strengths INTO the skills as well. You’ll be physically able to learn AND
physically able to produce.
When you're built like this at 15, you get to be the heavyweight champ at 20
And from here, we can move on still to a phase of GENERAL
strength training. It makes no sense for
us to try to master the sword when we don’t have any of the necessary
aggression, savagery, or reflexes to make use of the weapon in our hand. Similarly, dedicating ourselves to mastering
a handful of lifts makes no sense when we haven’t even developed any sort of
rudimentary BASIC strength and coordination with the iron. There are a LOT of muscles in the body, and
they’re all pretty cool at getting bigger and stronger, and to focus on just a
handful of them so we can master a few lifts is a surefire way to burn out
quick, accumulate overuse injuries and end up neglecting parts that will
eventually result in plateauing until we address them. BUT, if we show up for specialization as a
specimen who has spent time developing a broad general base of strength through
a wide variety of exercises, we have MUCH more potential to draw from when it
comes time to specialize.
Because there’s nothing wrong with specialization: it’s the
key to maximizing our ability to be dangerous.
But there IS something wrong with trying to specialize at the wrong
time. If Conan attempted to master the
sword as a boy, he would have been slaughtered by the first highwayman he came
across in his quest for vengeance. Sword
mastery can only carry you so far when you’re 4’ tall and weigh 60lbs. In turn, if you decide to take on the squat,
bench press and deadlift from day 1, you’re most likely going to hit your first
stall at about 80lbs. But, if you decide
to spend the necessary time suffering under the wheel and fighting in the pits,
when you decide to undertake mastery, you will be able to excel FAR and for
long periods of time, being able to rely on all the qualities and attributes
you developed leading up to that decision.
While others fumble merely attempting to hold the sword, your physique
and instinct will carry you far.
Learn these lessons from Conan. Hell, soon enough I can discuss his
nutritional wisdom as well.