BUFFET OF INSANITY: PART I

This monster turned out to be 2000 words when I was done with it, so I've broken it in half.  There's never any shame in making multiple trips to the buffet folks.

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-Spend a year training “wrong” and you will make more progress than 3 years training right.

-The trap bar has done way more harm than good.

-Why do they make tapered belts?

-I always worry about my grip strength at contests only to realize that I am one of the few people actively training my grip.

-Quite taking yourself so seriously.  It’s just lifting weights.

Usually, when this phrase is used, it's for soldiers that are being shot at in a brutal and bloody battle, but I'm sure the leg press is tough too

-I rarely ever grunt in training, or competition for that matter.

-I know I got old when I considered peanut butter “cheat food”.

-No one has ever used a gym mirror to check their form.

-Sleep is overrated.

-People who deride bodybuilders are often fat and weak.

-I made my worse progress when I tried to ensure I had adequate recovery.

--Wrist wraps don’t seem to do much for me.  They just tend to be good reminders to grip hard.

-Everyone needs a sandbag in training.  Amazing piece of equipment.  However, my Ironmind bag ripped way too easily, so don’t buy that one.

-When I try to lose weight, I drink way more diet soda.  I feel like there needs to be a balance of vices.

Maybe the world would've been better if he just stayed fat

-There are a lot of at people in powerlifting and strongman.  I suppose that’s true about crossfit and distance running too.  Maybe there are just a lot of fat people in general.

-If squat depth is so important, why don’t trainees stand each foot on an elevated platform so that they can squat BELOW ATG?

-I don’t know who said it, but it’s brilliant; “Most programming questions are asking for permission”.  Look to Nike: Just Do It.

-Most kids would be better served reading cookbooks instead of nutritional studies.

-The first thing I look for when someone posts their diet is vegetables.  100% of the time, they aren’t there.

-I really get a laugh out of folks getting their beards caught in the axle on the clean and press and on the stones.  Hopefully this phase will die out soon.

Oh hey, look, someone without a beard or a mohawk lifting huge weights

-I was bored at work one day and re-read all of Matt Kroc’s training log on the elitefts website prior to his transition to bodybuilding.  Lot of good stuff in there.

-I’m at the point in my training where I don’t feel like I need any new movements, just creative programming.

-Cheat days are ridiculous.  A cheat meal on ONE day is reasonable.

Except for this one I ate last week...no joke, that was a bad idea

-Someone else’s’ failure with a method you enjoy does not invalidate your own success with it.

-Make methods work for you, don’t make yourself work for the method.

-The popularity of the deadlift has not been a positive thing.

-Something I want to implement; band/chain dropsets.  Keep the bar weight the same, and just keep taking off bands and/or chains.

-I’ve actually cut my caffeine consumption down pretty substantially.  The biggest victory is none before training.  Pre-workouts are still for chumps.

-I couldn’t even give away the supplements I won at my 5^th contest.

-What is with the trend of non-competitors training “like athletes”?  What are these folks peaking for?  That is time spent NOT getting bigger and stronger.  The OFF season is where growth happens.  If you’re going to train like an athlete, train like an off season one.

-I feel like Planet Fitness is worth joining just for the pizza.

-A lot of powerlifters have joined the “Starting Strongman” facebook group, and many seem to forget that it’s strongman.  If I see another “ditch the straps” and “squat to depth” comment, I’m going to violate the “don’t be an asshole” policy.

-Someone posted a flyer of a local gym strongman contest that featured the squat, bench, deadlifts, and clean and press.  A bunch of people were up in arms about that “not being strongman”.  It’s strongman the LEAST strict sport, where all we do is lift heavy stuff?  Hell, we have platinum level shows with MAS wrestling in them for God’s sake.

So yeah, THIS was in WSM, but bench press is unacceptable?

-I drank a gallon of water in the span of 1.5 hours in a meeting and realized by the reactions of the people in the room that, once again, my sense of normalcy is totally warped.

-I still want a spider bar.

-Asking for a form check on assistance lifts is like wanting someone to critique your fingering on air guitar.

-I appreciate the humor in guys wearing skintight underarmor shirts to show off their physique and then dumping squats because the material is terrible at gripping the bar.

-I have never done a high bar squat.

-I am constantly shocked at how many people that I still consider beginners have “clients”.  I am REALLY hoping that they just mean “training partners” and just want to sound more important.  The alternative terrifies me.

-The unaccomplished demand science, not results.

-In many cases, doing something gets better results than doing nothing.

-People are going to expect me to have an opinion on the Matt Kroc transgender issue.  That is so outside my wheelhouse.  As a philosophy fan though, I more wonder about the existential implications.  Was there ever a Matt Kroc?  Who was I following for all that time?  A character?

I don't care what your gender is, this is STILL crazy

-I am so tired of salad.

-Why I don’t eat fish: the whole goal of fish is to make it not taste like itself.  If a fish doesn’t taste “fishy”, it’s cooked correctly.  If a steak doesn’t taste like steak, you ruined it.  I know a scam when I hear one.

-I recently acquired an awesome craigslist score which reminded me of why I love Ironmind.  The buffalo bar feels awesome.  If you’re on the fence, get one.

-I’m bringing dips back into my training.  So far, it’s one max set everyday, trying to PR every time.

-The only people upset about weight cutting are those who are bad at it and non-competitors.

-I’m starting to think that the resurgence of multiply lifting would be a positive simply by making powerlifting less accessible.

-Another year of not foam rolling down.  Pretty soon, I’ll have to retire without having ever done it.