I'm nerd enough to know that there is no escaping nerd rage
For the
people that didn’t spent their middle school lunches having food thrown at them
by the popular kids while you and your degenerate friends played cards, here’s
a super quick summary of magic: there are 5 different colors of cards (white,
green, blue, black and red) that each focus on a specific element of the
game. White is holy and focused on
protecting the player and gaining as much life as possible (each player starts
with 20 life, and when you get down to zero, you lose, but you can get above 20
with certain spells, like the stuff in white).
Red is fire and focused on chaos, destruction and direct damage with
powerful spells. Black is unholy,
fixated on death, sacrifice, disease, and the cessation of life. I only intend to discuss those three colors,
but just to not leave you hanging, green is nature and focused on lots of
creatures and growth, and blue is deception, misdirection and countering.
The reason I
intend to only discuss white, red and black is because that’s the evolution my
playstyle went through and, in turn, something I realize is the evolution that
training goes through as well. When I
started playing, I gravitated toward white.
White made the most sense: it had cards called “circle of protection”
that made it that certain color cards simply could NOT cause you damage. How crazy!
And then a bunch of cards in white made you gain life. What?!
How can you lose?! You’re going
to be protected from everything AND have the most life. It’s pretty much broken. How is this color even allowed in the
game?! Yeah well, it turned out that
this was a REALLY boring way to play the game and I still ended up losing a
bunch because, surprisingly, NOT losing is not how you win: it’s simply how you
stalemate. You know what kept kicking my
butt? Red.
This is how you tell someone to go f**k themselves in MtG
Red, of
COURSE: the way you win the game is to get the other guy down to zero
life. What better way to do that than
with a color built around dealing DIRECT damage? I even had a “burn deck”, which at the time
was a super taboo deck that had no creatures in it and ONLY direct damage
spells. These decks were hated by other
players because it seemed almost entirely indefensible: you just kept getting
pounded with damage every turn. Red,
with its intensity and rage and fire, surely the answer to everything. And yet again, it eventually got boring to
just play the exact same game every single time, and people eventually wised up
to burn decks and developed specific counter measures to prevent that. In addition, something I observed with both
red and white decks was that, whenever I’d play with more than 1 other person,
I was targeting by the other players to be removed from the game quickly so
that I was no longer a threat. It was
about denying me a chance to gain momentum.
This is when
I discovered black: a color I had written off since the beginning. It seemed like every single black card I read
involved the word “lose X life”. What
the hell: who wants to do that? I wanna
stay alive so I can WIN…right? But then
I started reading further, and realized that the life I was losing for these
cards was in exchange for VERY powerful effects that no other color could grant
me. While a red card might do 1 damage
to 1 creature or player, a black card, at the same cost, would do 1 damage to
ALL creatures or players: self included.
I realized this was a HUGE return on investment. I built a deck around a very common card
called “Pestilence”, which allowed me to damage all creatures and players for
as much damage as I was willing to spend for, meaning I could effectively wipe
out the board if I were so inclined.
Suddenly, my play style shifted entirely. I no longer cared about winning the game: I
just wanted to make everyone else lose.
It frustrated people immensely, because I’d just kill us both and end in
a “tie”, but to me, it was a victory because it ended on MY terms. And suddenly, on multi-player games, NO one
ever engaged me on the offensive, because it was understood that, as soon as I
took some sort of damage, the gears were set in motion and I’d say “well, if
I’m going to lose 1 life, I may as well lose the other 19…everyone else
too”. Sometimes, the best self-defense
is self-destruction.
See this guy gets it
Man, this
post is already getting long, but hear me out: this is EXACTLY what happens in
lifting. You can observe it on your own.
Pretty much every new trainee comes into
the game a white color player: all they’re concerned about is self-preservation
and protection from damage. “What’s the
safest form of exercise?” “How do I prevent injury?” “How do I keep from
overtraining?” “What’s the best thing to eat?” “What’s the most optimal X”, etc
etc. And, just like a white color
player, you don’t WIN the game of lifting by playing this way. Playing NOT to lose is not the same thing as
playing to win. Playing in this style is
just going to result in a stalemate which, as far as lifting goes, means no
progress, just maintenance at best.
And
inevitably the lifter becomes a “red player”, upset with their lack of progress
by playing it safe they turn to passion and rage as the solution. These dudes are memes: amped up on
pre-workout and heavy metal, screaming at the weights, PR or ER, constant
maxing, etc etc. And just like playing
that red burn deck, it sure seems effective at first, especially compared to
back when we played white. And just like
that red burn deck, you’re regarded as annoying by everyone else, and
eventually that style of play becomes unsustainable. Much like how everyone at the table gangs up
on the burn deck player to remove them from the game before they can build momentum,
LIFE gangs up on the red lifter to stop them from gaining momentum. Injuries can mount up, obligations will limit
you, you develop tolerances to your caffeine and pre-workouts, you train too
long “on the nerve” and completely fry yourself out, etc etc. Much like red, the spark is quite, the flash
intense, the duration short and unsustainable.
The calling card of a Red player
Enter
black. The lifter one day realizes that
the only way they’re going to get further than everyone else is through a
willingness to sacrifice what others won’t.
The passion has burnt out and things have become calculating and
mechanical. There’s no longer the
concern of self-preservation at all costs, it’s no longer about giving as much
as you can every single time: it’s about a willingness to sacrifice to make
unheard of growth. Sacrifices of time,
safety, the security of a safety net of scientific backing, eating all the
yummy food you like all the time, doing your favorite movements, etc etc: it’s
the time of sacrifice. And while life
gangs up on the white player and the red player, it leaves the black player
alone, because whenever it comes around and tries to impose something, the
black player just goes nuts and sacrifices more and more to overcome it. Injuries are met with Rube Goldberg-esque solutions,
limited time results in cutting down sleep to make room for training, limited
equipment means nothing but Super Squats for months, etc etc.
For the
black color player, the sacrifice isn’t martyrdom: it’s just their
playstyle.
As someone who primarily plays Mardu, i very much approve of this post.
ReplyDeleteThanks man. I'm not familiar with what Mardu is. You may have found the limits in my nerddom, haha.
DeleteMardu is simply the colour-pairing of white, red and black!
Delete