IT'S NOT SCIENCE, IT'S MAGIC...THE GATHERING PART III

Welcome back once again readers as we continue to explore the links between Magic the Gathering and the world of physical transformation.  Herein lies the final part of our trilogy.  Go back and re-read parts 1 and 2 if you need to re-orient yourself.

Let’s talk about some of those spells now, shall we?  I previously wrote about how the power of the spells themselves tends to directly correlate to the amount of mana we use to cast them.  There are, of course, exceptions, and I’ll discuss those shortly, because this metaphor just keeps on giving, but understanding spells through this lens, we’re effectively looking at training programs and what they represent.  A beginner in the realm of physical transformation does not NEED anything overly complex or precise: they can achieve results with the simplest of training protocols.  And, in turn, quite often, the training protocols for these individuals ARE very simple protocols.  Starting Strength’s 3x5 3 times a week is a classic example, alongside Tactical Barbell’s Base Building protocols, 5/3/1’s Prep School, the beginner program laid out by Paul Kelso in “Powerlifting Basics Texas Style”, and even just the very simple bodyweight/machine/dumbbell circuits that people develop on their own.  And again, understanding mana through the lens of our work capacity/output, we understand why these simple programs work and why there’s no need for anything greater than this.  However, as we continue to progress in training, effectively drawing more cards from our deck and playing lands from our hand, our physical capabilities improve and we outgrow these simple programs.  In the realm of physical transformation, it’s not that they’re “lesser programs” per se: they’re simply inappropriate programs.  The demands they place upon us are unrealistic given our current abilities.  Asking a 100lb squatting to squat 80% for 3 sets of 5 is hard work but manageable: asking an 800lb squatter to do the same is a polite way to ask them to kill themselves.  We can’t win the game by continuing to play these 1 mana spells when we have 10 mana to play with: we need to cast the spells that are appropriate for the amount of mana that we have.

Great work on the 510kg pull Thor, now just do 900lbs for 3 sets of 5 and the workout is complete.

 

This is what makes “advanced programming” advanced: it is programming suited for the physical capabilities of the advanced trainee.  Which is to say: it understands that an advanced trainee CAN’T just go into the gym and lift more weight for more reps today than they did 2 days ago, or else EVERYONE would bench 1000lbs by the time they got out of high school.  Advanced programs find a way to manage fatigue, balance intensity and volume (quite often through a phasic approach), spend time building work capacity, address weaknesses or deficiencies as they develop, etc.  Beginner trainees tend to think that these advanced programs mean achieving advanced gains, but the truth is, for them at their point in training, they’re inappropriate programs and won’t get them as good of results compared to if they stuck with something suited for their current physical capabilities.  Much like how cards that cost more than one mana tend to be a bit more nuanced: instead of being a creature with power and toughness of 1, it’s a creature with a special ability when it gets tapped.  Instead of a spell that simply does direct damage to a creature or player, it’s a spell that has lingering effects, or creates conditions that change the dynamics of play in favor of one of the players.  When you first start the game, victory seems simple: I’m just going to attack with my creature or cast my spell and take away life from the other player.  But as the game goes on further and we get more mana, more complex strategies develop and it's on us to be able to effectively employ our mana to capitalize on these strategies.

 

I said I’d discuss exceptions earlier, so let’s circle back to that.  Typically, simple programs get simple results, and once we’re done with that, it’s time to move on to more complex programming to appropriately progress for our current state.  However, there ARE some programs out there that, despite their simplicity, are able to achieve either incredible results OR are able to be used for LONG durations of training.  Something like Super Squats is incredibly simple, yet throwing a beginner on that is absolutely a baptism by fire and, if they survive, they will come out the other side transformed.  Meanwhile, 5/3/1 or Tactical Barbell are both programs that are incredibly simple to employ (just plug in the numbers and do the workout) yet are built in such a manner that they can effectively be run indefinitely.  These are those cards in MtG that are WAY powerful for how little mana they require: those gamebreaking diamonds in the rough that, upon being discovered, EVERYONE ends up building a deck around them.  And, consequently, there are programs out there that are needlessly complex for how little return on investment they churn out.  From my outside observation, just about every “science based lifting” program out there is failing to achieve it’s goals of physical transformation among those people that pursue these programs, most likely due to a demographic issue that the dudes most inclined to back a “science based lifting program” are the same dudes who lack the meathead capability to just grind through a training program and MAKE it work for them: simply not putting in enough effort to actually achieve the results they’re looking for.  In MtG, we’ve seen all manner of cards that require way too much mana for how little of a result they achieve, oftentimes cards that are victims of rulechanges in the games that invalidate whatever advantage they may have had.  Dave Tate had a comment on this regarding “lost exercises” that youtubers “rediscover”, that being that these exercises got lost because they sucked. 

Nothing goes away forever though

But let’s also get into the realm of discussing the spell types I presented earlier: enchantments vs sorceries/instants.  Aside from summoning creatures to fight for you in Magic, you can also just plain cast magic spells as a wizard.  These spells move/exist at different rates, with enchantments being a spell that, upon being cast, will hang out for the rest of the game (assuming the opposing wizard doesn’t destroy it somehow), while sorceries and instants are spells that, upon being cast, their effect occurs at that moment and then goes away.  A simple example would be an enchantment could say “you take no damage from red creatures”, and that’s now true for every turn for the rest of the game, while an instant may say “you gain 3 life”, and at that moment add 3 life to your life total and that’s it: you don’t get to keep adding 3 life every turn.  There’s more to it than that, but that’s enough for where I’m going to go with this.

 

Because Dan John has a great quote when it comes to supplements “if it works fast, it’s illegal.  If it works, it’s banned.  If it doesn’t work, it’s legal.”  Using that as our cognitive framing, we can understand that instants and sorceries are those spells in the realm of physical transformation that have very quick effects that, in turn, ALSO have short results.  People are so frequently in a rush when it comes to physical transformation, wanting to lose 20lbs of fat and gain 40lbs of muscle while adding 300lbs to their deadlift and they want it done yesterday.  And, quite often, these people go down “the darkside” of pharmaceutical assistance in order to “achieve” these goals, living the phrase “it’s not what you put your body through, it’s what you put through your body”.  Sadly, spending any time on the subreddit r/steroid will show you the sad outcomes of these stories.  The BEST case scenario for most of these dudes is that they spend way too much money on gear and get the kind of results they could have gotten had they invested that same amount on steak and eggs: they were simply too unfit at the start of their journey to actually take advantage of the drugs they were using.  Others aren’t so fortunate, and have to contend with a whole host of side effects, many of which being irreversible.  And, comedy of all comedies, those that manage to achieve any sort of result have to deal with the fact that, once they come OFF the gear, the results go with it, because they had no foundation to build upon at the start of their journey.  “If it works fast, it’s illegal”, but also “If it works fast, it unworks fast too”.  Nothing achieved quickly will ever last, and the body will ALWAYS fight for homeostasis.  Interestingly enough, MtG has a card named “Unstable Mutation”, that gives a creature +3 power and toughness to start with, and then every turn after that it loses 1 power and toughness until it eventually dies…and that’s just really fitting for this example.

Dig that mid 90s artwork

 

Enchantments, on the other hand, are those things we do for ourselves that DON’T have instant effects but, instead, long lasting effects that benefit us through the rest of the game.  In the world of supplements, creatine monohydrate could be one of the greatest examples of an enchantment.  It has clear, understood, well researched effects, yet anyone who has ever used it will comment that it’s not like Popeye eating his spinach.  There isn’t this sudden surge of strength and power with us crushing reps in the gym: we’re simply just a little bit better than we were before.  But that little bit, stretched over a LONG training history, will add up overtime.  “Little and often over the long haul”, another Dan John quote.  Many companies feel the need to package creatine with some sort of stimulant so that the trainee “feels” it working, similar to many pre-workout products, but this is just because we have stupid lizard brains that can’t appreciate small returns that accumulate overtime (which, consequently, pre-workouts are instants/sorceries as well, really stupid, damaging to your overall progress, and a waste of your money: stop using them).  Other enchantments could be things like Vitamin K2 for cardiac health, Fish Oil supplementation, electrolytes: basically all those unsexy supplements that simply allow us to continue living well and training hard WITHOUT turning our skin purple or making our resting heart rate jump 40 beats per minute.  It can also be simple daily habits, like going for a walk (this, for real, is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself for any kind of athlete, and I owe Jamie Lewis for pointing this out to me and Dan John for affirming it, which you could not ASK for a bigger “yin and yang” in the realm of physical training, so those two dudes vouching for it is a surefire sign it’s good for you), prioritizing sleep, getting in some feeder workouts, etc.  Just like how the enchantment’s effect happens every turn, if you’re getting in these activities every day, it’s going to have long lasting positive effects.

 

Alrighty, that was a wild journey: thanks for joining me on it.  I have no doubt that I could continue to write even MORE on the topic, but, once again, it’s fascinating to see how these parallels exist between two seemingly completely opposite activities.  I can tell you from my time playing Magic the Gathering that it did NOT tend to attract the meathead crowd, and that most often these dudes were throwing my own lunch at me in middle school, yet here we find that the mechanics of pretty much every “game” remain the same.  We start out small, build into something bigger, and along the way have to make decisions between overreaching and properly recovering to ensure we can play as long as we can while still winning the game.  Go have some fun.