THOUGHT SALAD: PART II

-ELITEFTS recently posted a facebook meme that said “unless you’re breaking a PR or world record, stick to quarters and plates.  Chips, dimes and nickels not allowed.”  The outrage from the internet was incredible, with many people asserting it was the stupidest thing they had ever read.  Consequently, none of these people were very strong.  Most simply thought that this meant add 50lbs to your 5 rep work set on Starting Strength everytime you hit 3x5, demonstrating a complete lack of creativity in programming or ability to think outside the box in any capacity.

-ELITEFTS isn’t the first to ever have this idea.  Dan John talked about it too.  It’s pretty “old school”, and honestly not the worst principle in the world.  I’ve been applying it to my squat and reverse hyper, and both are having no issues progressing.  You get to learn how to train through a variety of rep ranges and really “master” a weight.

-Breaking a “teenage record” is an accomplishment based around simply starting your training earlier than everyone else.  It’s not worth getting worked up about.

-Somehow, being in a commercial gym gives people telepathy.  At least, I must assume this is the case, because I constantly read people bemoaning how other people at the gym “think they’re so big/strong/hardcore/elite, etc”.  How the f**k could you possibly know what these people think?  Instead of worrying that the person waiting for you in the rack thinks you’re a wimp, why not just go lift some weights?

 
THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS!

-I have been squatting in a $300 power rack since 2007.  I put bars in it that are worth more than the rack.  I’m sure the more expensive ones are super awesome, but it doesn’t take much to get by.

-That said, if I won the lottery, my gym would be all Ironmind and Rogue.

-I don’t know how to feel when I see people take steroids to be not quite as strong as I’ve manage to become without them.  What’s funny is, when I was younger, I was all gung ho about the idea of taking them, but now that I compete in a sport where they’re not banned, it seems silly to me.  This is a hobby, I’m not going to break the law for it.

-Sometimes, it’s not about how quickly you get strong, but how long you can do it.  It’s easy to get envious over a lot of these young hot rising stars that put up ridiculous numbers at young ages, but a lot of times, 2-3 years down the road, they’ve vanished.  Getting stronger is fun, plugging away at a multiyear plateau isn’t, but those who can do the latter tend to eventually be able to outperform the former.  Or maybe this is just something I tell myself to feel better.

-Derek Poundstone is stronger injured than most men are completely healthy.  This is something all those “injury free” people need to grasp.

-High level weightlifting feels like soccer to me: a whole lot of almost scoring.

However, the flops are far more convincing

-It’s pretty funny that I have my own blog on lifting and yet have zero interest in discussing lifting offline.  Occasionally, with some like minded folks, I might swap a tip or technique, but really, what is there to say?  “Lift the heavy thing a lot”.

-George Leeman just released a program for PROM (Progressive Range of Motion) training for deadlift.  I cannot wait to hear about how I copied him.

-I got 2 100lb plates from Play-it-Again sports for $100.  An absolute steal.  I really thought I’d use Craigslist to buy weight plates from here on out, but few people are interested in just selling a pair of plates.  Most folks are selling 400-500lbs, mainly because they gave up.  Definitely great if you are putting together a new home gym, not so much when you’re already pretty full up in the garage.

-“Why 100lb plates” you ask?  Logistics for the most part.  This will mean I can load more plates for car deadlift and make fewer trips loading up the yoke.  If I could’ve gotten 2 more, it’d make farmer’s walks even easier to deal with, but such is life.

-Trendy lifts that I have seen come and go: overhead squats, snatch grip deadlifts, farmer’s walks, front squats, sumo deadlifts, reverse grip bench press.  Not saying these lifts don’t have merit, but it’s always amusing seeing every new program include them for a few months and then vanish again.

-I planned to make this an article one day, but let me get it out here now: health clubs, fitness centers and fitness rooms are not “gyms”.  The majority of the people bitching about their gym do not actually belong to a gym.  It is unreasonable to be upset at these places for NOT being gyms when they do not advertised themselves as gyms.  If you want a gym, go to one of the few dying gyms that may still be in your area.  Probably the most telltale sign of something being a gym is the fact that it is not making any money.

 

At one point, this gym was producing the best powerlifters in the world...and it had no bathroom

-After spending a month in a new job with very little to do and much internet access, I realize that the people who post the most on forums aren’t the ones with the most knowledge, but instead those who are the most bored at the time.

-“Dangerous form”.  What a stupid idea.  Let’s quit pretending that a hamstring tear is dangerous.  It sucks, don’t get me wrong, but no one is dying from this. 

-Some people find work around exercises for lacking certain equipment, I build work around equipment to be able to do certain exercises.  I can’t tell who is more stupid.

-I miss training at -30 degrees.

 
Although I don't miss dressing up to train

-I have learned SO much about plumbing after getting into strongman.

-There is no supplement or training technique as powerful as time.  The truth is, the way to succeed is to just spend a decade busting your ass and lifting heavy.  The people who tend to refute me on this are those who have just started.

-Could you legitimately imagine the insanity of having an argument with someone on the best way to pick up heavy things for fun?  Somehow, everyday, thousands of people engage in this very activity.

-Being asked if you’re on steroids isn’t brag worthy.  Keep in mind, people think creatine and whey protein are steroids.  Also keep in mind, the standards for physical fitness in society are incredibly low.  Also keep in mind, if you’re telling anyone about this, your self-esteem probably sucks.  Especially if you feign being offended.

 
"And THEN they had to nerve to ask if I did porn!  Just because I have a 12" penis!  The nerve!"

-Inzer has found the most insane business model where they lie to you about shipping times, provide poor customer service, take forever to get you products, sell things they don’t have in stock, and WE keep throwing money at them.  Perhaps we all come from abusive relationships.

-I saw someone use “poser” as an insult in regards to bodybuilders.  I couldn’t fathom the stupidity involved in coming up with that.  You manage to pick the one activity where posing is WHAT THEY DO.

-Jesus Christ I just saw someone refer to farmer’s carries as “fireman carries” on reddit.

-I cannot fathom the idea of not training simply because you are injured.  Who does that?

Probably the same people who "listen to doctors" and "take time to heal" and "don't lift just to stop the voices in their head"

-On the above, it’s very telling when someone will stop training.  Bad night’s sleep?  Didn’t go to the gym.  Went to the gym but the music was too loud?  Cut the workout short.  Some guy couldn’t read my mind and wouldn’t leave the squat rack?  Left the gym, too angry to train.  Etc etc.  It’s all excuses people, don’t delude yourselves.

-I wonder if a chiropractor ever found NOTHING wrong with someone.

-Don’t just let injuries heal: fix them.  The worst thing people do when they get injured is engage in an aggressive campaign of resting.

-Whenever I see someone who is on a working program ask about another program, it blows my mind.  They come up with a million ways to phrase their inquiry, but we all know the truth: they’re asking “will this other program work FASTER?”  You can’t cram for this test, time is the variable.