Saturday, June 11, 2016

OBSERVATIONS FROM DISNEYLAND

As I have returned from another harrowing adventure among humanity, I thought it might be fun to discuss some of the things I have observed within the general population as it relates to health, fitness, bodycomp, and physical culture.



-Holy crap, people are fat.  I spend a lot of time in the world of strength training, and my perspective of a "normal" body is pretty warped, but I was amazed at far off the mark I was.  Yeah, there are some real fat people in strongman and powerlifting, but the sheer percentage of fat people I saw was absurd.


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...'merica


-Adults will give me the right of way in a crowd, while kids don't give a f**k.  I think it shows that kids haven't lowered their standards yet.


-You can tell yourself that those giant turkey legs are "pure protein" as much as you want, but they're still probably not a great food choice...but it's better than a churro.


-People will come to a deadstop in the middle of an incredibly crowded walkway for reasons I'll never be able to understand.  As frustrating as this is, I think it's a pretty good sign that people are completely oblivious to the world around them, which means that all of you people afraid of getting "judged" at the gym need to chill, because no one is paying attention to you.


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At least he had a noble reason to stop moving


-I was at Disneyland 6 weeks post op for my ACL reconstruction.  The park is an excellent metric for rehab progress.  For one, I could actually fit my knee into far more rides with my increased ROM, and I didn't bang into as much crap.  Also, I could pivot and cut far better navigating through the endless torrent of humans.


-You can pretty much yell whatever you want at whoever you want, since everyone is on their damn phones the whole time they're walking.  Not gonna lie; I tend to become a complete asshole due to this.  However, for you fun seekers, consider trying this at the gym.


-It was grad night for 3 nights while I was there, and oh my god childhood obesity has gotten bad.  I'd say 4 out of 5 High School Grads that I saw were overweight, and about 2-3 of those 4 were on the side of obese.  It's just sad to see.  These kids are off to a rough start at such a young age, and most of them are just going to continue to make the same bad choices and just get in a real bad way.


-Yes, you CAN eat 4 quest bars in a day.  But you probably shouldn't.


-One of the most telling quotes on the trip was while I was walking toward the gates to Disneyland.  I was staying within walking distance, and a group from my hotel were all heading in the same direction.  Some woman with her child said "Well, we don't need to know where we're going; we can just follow all these people."  This is the exact same mentality that people have when it comes to training; they don't need to think or know anything, they can just do what everyone else is doing.  Jesus Christ, you'll just take your child to where a group of strangers are heading?  What if they were all going to buy drugs, or jump into traffic, or go to Knott's Berry Farm (I kid btw, Knott's is awesome)?  Don't follow a flock of people simply because they are a flock, follow them because they exhibit signs of SUCCESS.  If they are wearing Disneyland employee badges and are going to work, they probably know where they are going and how to get there.  If they're a lost tourist just like you, they don't have authority over you simply because they started walking before you did.


Consequently, the people she was following went the wrong way.


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But, to be fair, that's where all the cool people are


-I wore a tanktop everyday, partially because it was one of the few times I could get something resembling a tan, but mostly because, after spending 5 winters in North Dakota training in my garage, my internal thermostat is broken and I interpret anything over 60 degrees as "hot", and in Anaheim I was dying.  It seemed that, in doing so, I entered into a brotherhood of other tanktop wearers at Disneyland.  I observed that guys who were smaller than me but lean/leaner would give me the "bro nod", while guys who were bigger and fluffier than me would give me the death stare.  I'm wondering if this means I've betrayed my heritage.


-Even with a 650 deadlift, I can't get the sword out of the stone.


-If you drink nothing but zero carb rockstars and diet coke for 3 days (and yes, I mean no actual water), you'll look really shredded by day 3...from being massively dehydrated.


-The average walking pace of the average American is simply deplorable.  I can't tell if this is just a lack of being in a hurry or if people are just trying their absolute hardest not to exert themselves in any capacity.


-If you wanna see people with zero body image issues, check out a hotel pool.  Body positivity at it's finest.

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You will probably never be this happy



-Do rascal scooters allow fat people to get fatter, or do they just allow really fat people to be out in public?  Or is it both?


-"Small people priveldge" is being able to raise your arms over your head on a roller coaster.







2 comments:

  1. Come back when you pull 700, maybe you'll get the sword then! Be sure to apply chalk and wear straps. I'll bet that would make you popular with the employees.

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  2. I think the fluorescent orange Metal Jack Deadlifter will be just the thing to put me over, haha.

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