Another one
of my rants about language and the avenue of passivity that trainees take to
absolve themselves of responsibility, but now comes the bonus of me applying
all of the knowledge I gained from a psych 101 course I took in undergrad a
decade+ ago: you’re in for a treat. But
thankfully, we’re on equal footing here, because from my observation everyone
else took the same course and got a C, because people are so quick to jump to
diagnosing themselves with severe psychological disorders when it comes to
their own foibles. And before I go any
further, I want to clarify that I intend no malice toward those legitimately
afflicted with actual mental health disorders, because I’ve been around enough
folks that suffer from such maladies to understand just how debilitating it can
be. But it’s BECAUSE of this that I take
so much offense to those who are quick to grant themselves these same
afflictions. In our race to be as
hyperbolic as possible in our language, we’ve worked to absolve ourselves of
any and all responsibility and accountability for our own actions. Once again, we’ve removed our own agency and
thrown ourselves at the mercy of our environment. Man, screw that: you are STILL in control.
I mean, in most c
What am I
getting at here? Again, people make a
habit of employing such egregiously hyperbolic language in their EVERYDAY
dialogue that they’ve engendered a habit of removing their own personal
responsibility from the actions they perform.
Look at any trainee discussing their shortcomings in their training and
it becomes abundantly apparent. “I’m
addicted to sweets.” Ok, really, let’s
discuss what “addiction” means. Your
addiction means that you lack the ability to function without partaking in the
substance you are addicted to. It means
your brain and body will start shutting down unless you have the substance you
are addicted to. In some cases,
addiction are so strong the subject will die if they go without their substance
for too long. And you’ve decided you’re
going to use that language…about candy?
Rather than say “I really like eating candy”, you jumped straight to “addiction”,
and in doing so, you’re saying that you eating sweets is totally outside your control. You simply lack the ability to NOT eat
sweets. You are a SUFFERER, you are
afflicted, YOU are the misfortunate one…because you just plain can’t stop
eating sweets. Ok, seriously? No, quit using that word. Own up to your shortcomings. “I like eating sweets more than I like being
in shape.”
“I don’t
know if I should bulk or cut: stupid body dysmorphia!” Ok, again, are you serious here? You’re trying to explain away your inability
to make a decision by claiming it’s because of a severe psychological disorder
to distorts your perception of your body?
No, what’s happening here is you lack the ability to make short term
sacrifices for long term growth. This is
such an easy question to answer: if you want to be bigger, gain weight, if you
want to be smaller, lose weight. When
you have to post a shirtless photo of yourself online and ask strangers to
dictate your lifepath because of your “body dysmorphia”, you are once again
just saying “I don’t want to make decisions and control my fate: won’t someone
ELSE please do it for me?” And you make
use of hyperbolic language to excuse yourself from your inability to act.
It's also worth noting that it's NOT body dysmorphia when you look bad and you think you look bad...
And these
are just 2 immediately obvious examples out there where people use language to absolve
themselves of the responsibility of being a functioning human. Where else have you seen this? People that HAVE to eat or train a certain
way because of “their OCD.” No, you DON’T
suffer from a debilitating disorder that limits your ability to function in
normal society: you just don’t like to change.
People that “can’t stop eating”?
Ok, so you’re saying you suffer from binge eating disordering: go seek
immediate psychological treatment. Oh
wait, MAYBE you just refuse to exercise self-control instead. Maybe instead of “can’t”, the word you REALLY
were looking for is “won’t”. I get it:
we live in a hyperbolic world. It’s the
only way people can get attention anymore.
No one cares for the mundane, everything gets sensationalized, HOWEVER,
you need to recognize what you’re doing to yourself here.
Folks, if
you’re going to employ hyperbole, use it to your ADVANTAGE: not to cripple
yourself. Creative a narrative in your
mind where you are indestructible. When
you discuss your dietary compliance, explain how it’s no problem at all, even
IF you experience cravings. When talking
about your training, discuss PRs as though their inevitable, not wishful
thinking. Let yourself be super humanly
strong, bulletproof to injury, a machine when it comes to nutrition. You want to remove yourself from the
equation? Fine, but do it
POSITIVELY. Construct a narrative where
SUCCESS is inevitable, NOT failure. Be
hyperbolic for your benefit.
Imagine for a second how much you would succeed if you were Arnie and ALSO, underneath that, a robot
I get it; we
exist in a self-deprecating society, where people enjoy bragging about their
failures and shortcomings. It’s trendy
to commiserate with everyone else about how you can’t succeed because the deck
is stacked against you on a genetic level.
But you know what: wish for failure and you’ll get it. Will people think you’re bragging and full of
yourself if you’re hyperbolic in a positive sense? Sure, but guess what: you’ll be worth
BRAGGING about. You create a
self-fulfilling prophecy of success based off the language you employ when
discussing yourself. This is the very
basics of the notion of “the power of positive thinking”. And yeah, you’ll have a different narrative
than others, but that’s because you want different RESULTS than others.
Or maybe you
don’t, and maybe you’ll leave it up to someone else to decide what you want.
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ReplyDeleteReally like the message of this and how broadly it applies. On Friday we sparred at my kickboxing gym. This one guy who's more experienced than me came in to train after it ended and I was about to joke that he "didn't feel like beating me up today" as the reason. I stopped myself. It may have been a harmless self-deprecating joke, but I want to instill a pattern of taking myself seriously as an athlete and to not send any other message out. Your line about constructing a positive narrative made me think of that.
ReplyDeleteAwesome dude: it's pretty cool how you had a similar revelation. We're taught so much to be humble, and sure, that can be endearing and prevent you from being a total a-hole, but there's nothing wrong with expecting greatness of yourself and holding yourself to that standard. Enough people are happy to be average that SOMEONE has to be above it at some point.
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DeleteHell, to even make average, you still have to work harder than average. Mathematically speaking.
DeleteI mean, I guess the alternative is to work so hard you reach your genetic potential within 4 years despite joints holding you back, that you have to roid up.
This works to the opposite effect often as well. People who actually have problems with mental health are told to 'deal with it' as their peers also 'have bad days, but just move on.'
ReplyDeleteI feel like many people are just looking for something to blame, an easy out. But being stuck in the middle with people on both sides yelling contradiontary things, it's nice to have someone just say 'do what you gotta do, walk this path and figure out where it leads you.' Your blog is one of those powerful lighthouses that guides people through the noise of modern life. Cheers bro~
Appreciate the comment man. I gotta imagine the minimalizing of legit mental illnesses is a part of our hyperbolic language as well.
Delete"You have OCD? Big deal. Karen in accounting has OCD about making sure the clock in the breakroom matches the one on the microwave!"
"Oh, you mean, if that doesn't happen, she'll have a severe psychological meltdown and be able to function normally?"
"No, it just REALLY annoys her."
We're all so quick to self-diagnose that now we believe these diseases are all over the place, and people are also in a rush to use these diseases to excuse their otherwise boorish behavior.
From the science (as I currently understand it), it is not nearly as clear cut as you suggest that sugar should not be considered as an addictive substance. For example, several studies have demonstrated the same or very similar mechanisms of withdraw using a mouse model if I remember correctly. some of that research is sumarized here; https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6234835/
ReplyDeleteIt's not my specific field though, just something I've read about in the past - so take my recollections and understanding with a grain of salt. Cheers~
I apologize if my writing led you to believe I was making a declarative stance on the addictiveness of sugar as a substance. That wasn't my intent at all, nor did I feel my writing expressed that. You could have replaced sugar with "fast food", "chips", "starbucks", etc in my writing to get the same meanining. My intent was to discuss people that use "addiction" to mask what is fundamentally a lack of willingness to not indulge in eating yummy food.
DeletePeople can get addicted to all sorts of things, but many people are misusing the term.
People can beat a hell of a lot of addictions, too. I have quit smoking twice. I have gone from three energy drinks a day and two-three candy bars a day to cutting those out entirely to slowly adding energy drinks back in, but not to the extent of 3 a day.
DeletePeople buck drinking and hard drugs too.
I'm not trying to say that being addicted to something isn't an excuse, just that, it isn't always a death sentence and someone who does want to improve will be taking steps to either kill or manage said addictions.
My apologies as well then, I thought you misunderstood the common definition of addiction.
DeleteTo both above: I think it was primarily the point of comparing candy/sugar to addictions with severe consequences that was most lost on me. I will say, based on the folks I see daily walking around me; I wouldn't hesitate to believe anyone that tells me they're addicted to sugar. But at the end of the day, regardless the addiction, people are addicted because they began and continue to engage in those activities. I agree that "cold turkey" quitting isn't an option in some cases, but there are tools and crutches available to deal with nearly every addiction out there. I think that being addicted to something shouldn't ever be used as an excuse for anything other than as an excuse to break the habit if that excuse is in the way of your goals. At the end of the day, I guess I don't really believe that people are misusing the term addiction in the sense that they're not actually addicted to something - but rather in the sense that being addicted doesn't excuse what should be done. Maybe that's what the article was saying anyway? Cheers~
Funny enough, I used "sweets" instead of sugar in the hopes to avoid the discussion on sugar addiction, haha.
DeleteI have been around a lot of addicts. I am pretty familiar with what it looks like. I also see a lot of folks who jump to that word way too early. You may not have experienced the same, and if so, your existence is most likely less frustrating than mine, haha.