THE STRENGTH STAT IS BROKEN: GO BE A MUNCHKIN

The title of this post is an absolute word salad for those of my readers who aren’t versed in Dungeons and Dragons (shame on you!), so allow me to provide a brief explanation before diving into the subject at hand.  In DnD, there are 6 core statistics that make up your character: strength, dexterity, constitution (endurance/hardiness), wisdom, intelligence and charisma.  You can generally score between 3 and 18 points on these stats, by rolling 3 six sided die, 18 representing the absolute peak potential and 3 representing the lowest achievable rating while still being functional.  18 intelligence is Einstein, 3 intelligence is end of life Nietzsche (ouch).  What is a munchkin?  In DnD, they’re a “powerplayer”: someone that is focused on maximizing strengths and minimizing weaknesses in order to become overpowered while staying within the rules of the game.  They exploit loopholes and obscure rules and by-laws in order to be the most powerful character they can be.  In life, we, ourselves, can become munchkins, and we do so by maximizing our strength stat.  Why?  Because the strength stat is broken: it’s completely unfair compared to the other stats.

Honestly, I should have titled the post this...

 

Right away, I’ve gone full bro-mode here: “intelligence is important, by biceps are importanter”.  But, again, I’m going to use the very rules of DnD to explain this.  And, once again dear readers: I am most likely an elder-statesman to you, so realize my knowledge of DnD stopped at 3.5 edition, so if what I say upsets you 5th editioners: deal.  In my previous discussion of DnD, I brought up the classes you could be: your character’s profession, wherein I explained that barbarism is equivalent to magic.  Well, before we determine our class, we determine our RACE: what order of being we belong to.  Stolen almost directly from the Lord of the Rings, one can choose from Humans (how boring), Elves, Gnomes, Dwarves, Halflings (Hobbits), and then half-breeds: Half-Elves (half human, half elf) and Half-Orcs (Half human, half orc).  Why do I bring that up?  Because, aside from Humans being a baseline race, each race is granted distinct advantages and disadvantages, with the goal being that these all balance out and that there is no one superior race to choose (as that tends to become a VERY sensitive topic).  We’ll lets analyze this, shall we?

 

I’m not going to recite the entire player’s manual to you, but here’s a quick overview: there is only one race that does NOT get some sort of bonus to their resistance to certain magics, a specialized ability to fight certain other races, or a natural affinity to cast spells.  This race’s only advantages are an ability to see well in low light (which pretty much every other race has as well) and a bonus to strength: the Half-Orc.  Yup: my favorite race.  And I get to explain why here.  Once again: remember that these races are supposed to be balanced for equal play: otherwise, everyone would pick the “best” race and there’d be no reason to play the others.  So what does that mean?  That means a bonus to strength is EQUAL to a bonus to any other stat PLUS magic resistance, natural casting ability, bonuses to fighting certain races, etc.  A bonus to strength is equal to ANY other bonus PLUS another bonus.  THAT is how valuable strength is in Dungeons and Dragons: a FANTASY game, wherein you can gain the ability to cast magic spells, summon demons, heal injuries with the touch of your hand, command animals telepathically, transform into a werewolf, KILL PEOPLE WITH MUSIC, etc: simply being really strong is equal to that.  Think how mind boggling that is.

That's literally what he is...and he's a Super Hero

 

Once again: we can use this to our advantage.  If strength is THAT valuable in a fantasy game, just imagine how valuable that is in real life where we DON’T have access to all that other fantasy stuff?  When we are but mundane: forced to live a mundane and simple existence, where technology is our only “magic”, we can separate ourselves and create our own magical racial advantages simply by becoming stronger.  And yes: it’s such a direct and hamfisted metaphor for overcoming genetics that it’s absolutely ridiculous, but, in turn, I love it.  The genetic advantage of the half-orc is being stronger than all the other races.  In turn, you can overcome the genetic advantages of all others: those that are naturally more athletically inclined, leaner, smarter, faster, etc etc, simply by outclassing them in strength.  And what does it take to become stronger?  Effort, BARBARISM: that same variable we outlined earlier as being equal to magic.  Yup, we’ve come full circle here: the Half-Orc Barbarian, once again, is THE superior choice. 

It SHOULD be obvious here

 

Are those other stats cool?  Oh sure, they’re plenty nifty, and you can definitely build a fun character to play with them…but if we want to identify what the true “best” stat is, it’s clearly strength.  In order to match strength, you have to match it with a stat PLUS a bonus, and good luck getting those bonuses here in the real world.  But strength, amazingly enough, is pretty cheap to acquire: it just takes effort, consistency and time.  And NONE of those are stats.  Sure, some constitution can help in the acquisition of strength, but let’s remember to keep our eye on the prize here.  I’m talking specifically to you folks out there thinking that you can maximize your strength stat by maximizing your intelligence score first.  Sorry dude: you’re not going to THINK your way stronger.  It doesn’t matter how many books you read (steal), podcasts you listen to, TikToks you consume, forums you terrorize, etc etc: strength is a stat that is raised through grinding.  And really, if I were to claim one of the other stats to help with strength, it’d be WISDOM: not intelligence.  Intelligence is knowing that a tomato is a fruit: wisdom is knowing not to make a fruit salad with a tomato.  So many dudes out there trying to out-think this strength acquisition pursuit fail to apply any sort of degree of common sense or to learn from their own experience or the experience of others.  Not everything has been proven by study (and, in fact, NOTHING is proven by study: it is merely observed), and oftentimes the most valuable lessons out there are decades ahead of the science, and if we wait for it to catch up, our moment will have passed.

Hey team full ROM: get bent

 

Go become a munchkin on your own: go maximize your strength stat.  Give yourself SUCH an unfair advantage in life that all the other players will assume you are cheating.  With strength, you will have longevity, as SO many of our elderly folks end up in such a bad way simply because they lack the strength to accomplish daily functions.  With strength, you will have vitality, as lean body tissue has SO many positive correlations with improved metabolic health, insulin sensitivity, about to effective partition nutrients, etc.  With strength, you will have freedom, for lack of fitness limits SO many people from having the wonderful experiences of visiting new places and taking in new experiences.  With strength, you can be an inspiration to others, for how many of you, dear readers, took up the pursuit of physical transformation because you observed strength displayed by someone else?

 

The strength stat is broken: go take advantage of that.