EFFICIENCY IS FOR MOPEDS: I’M GOING TO OUTER F**KING SPACE

  

I will never understand the pre-occupation that so many trainees have with maximizing efficiency.  These dudes are always in a quest to find THE most efficient way to train, such that they get the absolute most bang for their buck, rep to growth wise.  These folks will NEVER employ “junk volume”, or cross into the threshold of diminished returns, or do a single rep more than the absolute “minimum effective dose”.  They’re the same dudes that will choke down dry chicken breasts, refusing to put an ounce of sauce OR effort in food preparation, because that would be an inefficient use of their time and resources.  In the world of efficiency, you wanna know what of the most fuel efficient vehicles out there?  The moped: getting around 130 miles per gallon.  Wanna know a terribly INefficient vehicle?  The space shuttle, which, uses 11,000 pounds of fuel PER SECOND, averaging around 8-9 miles per gallon.  …and guess which vehicle is WAY more awesome?

Even on an awesome show, they can't make a moped awesome

 

Sorry folks: efficiency is for nerds, plain and simple.  And yeah yeah: you have to be a sharp cookie to be able to fly on the Space Shuttle: let’s not miss the point here.  Any yahoo can go rent a moped and feel the shame of…riding a moped.  Efficiency is so widely available that any consumer can go out and get it.  We have fuel efficient vehicles, time efficient cooking devices (hello Instant Pot), environmentally efficient means of production, etc etc.  A RARE site is one that is produced from INefficiency.  Getting into outer space?  SUPER inefficient.  It takes SO much fuel, time, energy, effort, etc etc, all for what?  TO GO INTO OUTER SPACE, that’s what!  Do you know how inefficient it is to get a gold medal in the Olympics?  Even those countries that have tried to boil it down to a science, hand-selecting trainees at young ages and raising them in state-sponsored training facilities have to take GREAT time, energy and effort in order to achieve those goals…especially compared to the far more efficient method of just making your own.  Hell, even WITH cheating, these countries struggle.

 

But it’s these inefficient things that are SO much cooler to observe, let alone participate in or achieve.  Is efficiency beneficial?  Absolutely.  It greatly benefits the average person, and makes our lives, on average, ultimately better.  But inefficiency is NOT average, and, in turn, part of the process necessary to BE something other than average.  In order to achieve something greater than average, some inefficiency needs to come into play, because ultimately efficiency IS about maximizing output PER input.  It is NOT about maximizing output period dot!  And the gulf between efficiently maximized output and maximized output is a WIDE gulf.  It’s the difference between a journeyman boxer with a record of 100-100-50 and Mike Tyson.  It’s the difference between high school all state champion wrestler and Aleksander Karelin.  It’s the difference between the moped and the space shuttle.  Sure, we CAN admire both…but of the two, which do we really, truly admire?

Pretty sure he ALSO put a fair amount of dudes into space...

 

Cast away the negativity associated with inefficiency: that is the call of the average trying to drag you to their level.  There’s nothing inherently wrong with being inefficient, so long as we understand WHY we are being that way.  Yes: it’s stupid to attempt to put fuel in your vehicle with a bucket when the gas pump is available, but it’s NOT foolish to spend a little extra time, energy and effort applying seasoning and cooking techniques to your food to make eating it an enjoyable experience vs some monk-like existence of eating cold beans and tuna out of the can.  The latter appreciates the tradeoff and reward inherent in exercising inefficiency.  Is it inefficient?  Yes.  Is inefficiently INHERENTLY bad?  No: it simply is.

 

In the pursuit of physical greatness, inefficiency is NECESSARY.  Because, again, this is a discussion of GREATNESS: not most averageness.  The MAJORITY of people that engage in physical activity do so under the auspice of maximized efficiency.  “What activity can I do that will get me the most results with the least effort?”  This is why 8 minute abs was a thing.  It’s why fitness informercials in general are a thing.  It’s why HIIT was so popular when it was first introduced (a full cardio workout in 4 minutes, sign me up!...yeah…about that).  It’s why people will shell out tons of cash for meal prep services that deliver near inedible products (great for fat loss: you won’t eat the food you have and you’re too broke to buy more).  And when you go to any training facility, you get to personally observe the results of these efficient approaches: mediocrity.  People that are ultimately fighting the (losing) battle against time.  They are slowing down their inevitable decline, but in no way are they surviving, let alone THRIVING.

Time is being used efficiency here: we're getting in a bad workout AND poor quality reading

 

Those who choose inefficiency?  THEY are the ones making it happen.  Are they in the gym longer than everyone else?  But of course.  Are they doing too many reps, too many sets, training too often with too heavy weight?  Out of principle, they must!  Do they eat more than is necessary?  Most certainly.  10 sets of 10 when 5 would suffice?  Absolutely.  Because everyone else in the gym is riding around on mopeds, and these dudes are going to outer f**king space.

 

Go be inefficient.  Start adding extra training on top of your training.  Start doing 2 a days, 3 a days, sets every hour on the hour.   Do your conditioning first thing upon waking AND before sleep.  Find new and interesting ways to prepare food.  Shop at 3 different grocery stores to get all sorts of interesting goodies.  Read MORE than just the sets and reps of a program and learn MORE than is necessary to accomplish your goals.  Be efficient in the parts of your life where greatness is NOT the goal.  Be an efficient toothbrusher, efficient dresser, efficient television watcher, have an efficient haircut, but where you WANT to be something greater than average, go be inefficient, and enjoy your time in space.