BRAIN VOMIT

-Nothing is more frustrating than having people tell you to stop pushing yourself so hard and be safe during your physical therapy, and then having those same people praise your surgeon and your physical therapist because you “recovering SO well”.  My surgeon and physical therapist are great at doing their jobs too, but how about a little credit where credit is due?

-If you want to get away with poor form on an exercise, just slap someone’s name on it.  “Those are just Leeman Rows”, “Those are Zottman curls”, “That’s a Dimel Deadlift”.  I hope one day they name mile high squats after me.

-It’s funny how, if I just give advice on reddit’s fitness page, it gets downvoted, but if I give advice and then post my stats, people have questions to ask. Meanwhile, no one is downvoting “Do 3x5 for everything”, regardless of the advice giver’s stats.

-I tend to be the first to say “training isn’t fun”, but picking up the Rolling Thunder legitimately is fun. It’s pretty cheap all things considered. Or maybe this is just a sign that I suck at it, since it means its light enough for me to actually enjoy it.

-The IPF announced that attending any seminar Ed Coan was it would get people suspended. Powerlifting is the craziest sport in the world, because it seems like the competitors LOVE for the powers at be to crap all over them. People still can’t give the IPF money fast enough, want to go to all of their meets, place high in their federation, etc, just like how people throw money at Inzer to get terrible customer service. Maybe when a sport is full of masochists, the way to succeed is to treat them like dirt.

I should've warned you that viewing this image would result in a ban from the IPF

-On the above, the predictable bellows of “we need to unify the sport!” were once again heard. If you wanna unify powerlifting, make it all multiply and untested, with lax standards and 72 hour weigh ins. If you don’t want to compete in multiply, you don’t have to.  If you don’t want to use drugs, you don’t have to. If you want to bury your squats, go ahead.  Weigh in 2 hours beforehand, go for it. …oh, what’s that you say?  You want it to be unified AND you want to win? Now you’re just being selfish.

-I wish I knew why I wanted an Ironmind Axle so badly.

-The prowler is an amazing tool.  I needed to get one a decade ago. Well worth the hype.

-I am still keeping my eyes peeled for one of Mark Rippetoe’s athletes to show up somewhere.  Seriously, if anyone ever finds one, please let me know. I figure I could even put the picture on a milk carton; you know one of his lifters would see it then.

 
Although I suppose to be really effective you'd have to put it on the gallon

-Do people realize how unoriginal they are being when they ask for meals that are healthy, cheap, easy to make and taste good?  Or how about someone wanting to know how to workout if they don’t have a lot of time? Do these people possess so much hubris that they assume they’re the first to ever think to ask such a question, and it’s only because of this reason that the answer isn’t immediately available for everyone in the world to enjoy? How heroic.

-Ever noticed how people stressing over the difference between chin-ups and pull-ups tend to have small and weak lats?

-It dawned on me that yesterday was the first time I had used a straight barbell since 10 Oct. It was for meadows rows. How funny that I used to consider that an “essential piece of equipment”.

-I have never seen a 700lb bencher worry about their lift ratios.

 
Does anyone care what he squats?

-The concept of rep ranges is one of the worst things to ever happen to lifting.

-Anyone getting upset at you because your workout isn’t optimal is trying to sell you something.

-If you ever want to upset someone seeking advice, inform them they that may need to read a book on the subject.

-I may be one of the first people in history to develop tendonitis from doing their physical therapy too much.

-People are coming up with methods to perform moving events in place at a commercial gym. One of the popular adaptations is to walk in place on an aerobics stepper with a dumbbell in each hand to simulate farmer’s walks. Jesus Christ people; quit trying to put the square peg in the round hole.

 
This is how they train the yoke

-I am really starting to believe that programming just plain doesn’t matter.  Consistency and intensity of effort seem to be the 2 most important factors of training, and as long as you have those 2 things going, you can pretty much do whatever you want and you’ll grow.  It seems the goal of the program is just to give you something exciting enough to believe in that you WANT to apply that consistency and intensity of effort.

-Kinda weird how people always mention the amount of weight lifted in a form check video, don’t you think?

-I came up with a fad diet a while back where you buy all your groceries, bring them to a field, throw them all as hard as you can, and whatever lands the farthest, you get to eat. I figured everyone else had a crazy idea, I should too.  The funny thing is, there is a little bit of merit. A head of lettuce is going to travel further than a box of Froot Loops (I didn’t misspell that buy the way; they can’t legally refer to it as “Fruit”), and meat will go farther than twinkies. It gets into a grey area with cans of Chef Boy-ar-dee though.

-If the only way your program works is if you eat a lot of calories, your program doesn’t work.

-All these kids who talk about how you need a ton of volume to grow and poo-poo 5/3/1 have clearly never run 20 rep squats. Do 20 reps of one exercise and grow magically. How much more volume do I need professor?

 
The alternate title of "How to experience unfathomable agony 3 times a week" didn't test well

-I get shocked at how much drama is in powerlifting until I realize that any sport that cares so much about what another dude is wearing is BOUND to be catty.

-Anyone telling you to “squat deeper” is really saying “find a way to squat less than me.”

-If you don’t’ know if you’re injured or not: you’re not.  Don’t worry; your body will definitely let you know when you’re injured!

-You’re getting old and beat down when “safe sex” means sex that runs zero risk of blowing out your back, hamstrings or knee.

-The more people that disagree with me, the better I feel about my training decisions.  As soon as the majority supports my conclusions, I start to worry.

-Anyone “annoyed” by bad form is terrified that someone might know something that they don’t.

-Anyone posting a “depth check” for squats online is just asking for permission.

-One of the many memes I am getting tired of is people posting photos of some sort of ridiculously overindulgent food items with “#gainz” or some other such nonsense. Let’s not try to pretend that the secret to success is hidden in the bottom of a banana split. If you like the taste of something, that’s enough justification. If you don’t care about being lean, that’s your call. However, I’m willing to bet that the person suffering more in the gym AND at the dinner table is probably getting better results.

#diabetes #whydon'tIhaveabs? #breastmode

-I’m always baffled when someone tells me that I train the way I do because I compete, but because they just want to get bigger and stronger, they train differently. Isn’t the goal of competing to be the biggest and the strongest in order to win?

-Anyone trying to convince you to stop doing something because it’s a “waste of money” is battling some envy and insecurity. No one cares about your personal finances.

-Why do college kids try to make it sound like they’re inmates?

-If you see a lifter call themselves an intermediate, they’re a beginner.  If they call themselves advanced, they’re a beginner.  If they call themselves a beginner, they probably not.