IF YOU DO WHAT EVERONE ELSE DOES, YOU GET THE RESULTS EVERYONE ELSE GETS

I know I’ve touched on this before, because that’s what happens when you write once a week on the same subject for a decade, but that, in turn, makes this self-affirming, because here I am doing things other people aren’t doing.  What I intend to discuss here is something that is so painfully obvious to me yet seems to escape the understanding of SO many people that I feel the need to just spell it all out here.  Being average is NOT being extraordinary.  Again, that seems obvious to me, but it seems to be an idea that has not been fully realized by, interestingly enough, the average person.  When you look at a bell curve, you have the top 10% and the bottom 10%, and in the middle is that smear of average where the majority reside.  Why does that matter?  Because in the pursuit of physical transformation, we are aiming to become bigger and stronger THAN AVERAGE.  It is a quest to GET to that 10% outlier: to NOT be constrained in that 80% of the bellcurve.  Being big and strong is DIFFERENT: it is deviant, it is outside the norm, some even consider it abhorrent (your top 10% is their bottom: value of perspectives), but however you classify it, it is outside the average.  So, acknowledging it this: WHY would you do what everyone else is doing?  If you do what everyone else is doing, you get the results that everyone else is getting!

I assure you: no one else was doing this

This is NOT a call-to-arms for counter-culture purely for the sake of being contrarian, although, in truth, you could have far worse of a personal policy if your goal is to be successful.  And that is because, quite frankly, the average person isn’t successful. Success is NOT an average quality.  “Maintenance” is what most people strive for: they accomplish just enough to keep from drowning, but don’t go beyond that.  The people that accomplish significant results in ANY endeavor are rare: they make up a very SMALL amount of the population.  This is why the majority of the world’s wealth is concentrated among a SMALL population of people rather than equally distributed among the majority.  Yes yes: wealth can be inherited, illegally obtained, etc etc: please don’t focus so much on the example.

No: not counter-culture for its own sake, but deviance for the purpose of being DIFFERENT.  Being different at LEAST gives you something in common with those that are successful, and the more things you do that make you more like those that are successful, the greater the possibility that you, yourself, are, in fact, successful.  “If it walks like a duck and sounds like a duck” and such.  You SEE the results that everyone is getting: they’re not good.  At best, they’re average, for the very reasons I’ve discussed above.  They are unimpressive, not noteworthy, not anything to aspire to nor anything anyone care to write about or document in any way.  We turn on the TV to watch excellent athletes do excellent things: no one is recording the company softball game.

There are, of course, always exceptions

This is why, to BE different, we must DO different.  This is why, when someone tells me that the latest study says we must train the muscles twice a week for maximal protein synthesis, I do it once a week.  When I discover that the majority of nutritional literature expresses the importance of carbohydrates for training performance and hypertrophy, I cut carbs from my diet.  When I learn that conditioning and cardiovascular training “kills gains”, I do a ton of it.  When I hear I need to do daily stretching and mobility, I do none of it.  They make apps that make counting calories and macros even easier?  Sweet: my method of never counting them works REALLY well.  Let’s bulk when we’re at 20% bodyfat and cut at 8.  Did you know it’s possible to train REALLY hard on 4 hours of sleep?  

I am getting DIFFERENT results.  That’s my goal.  We all start out the same: perpetuating that is NOT my goal.  So if my methods diverge from what is normally considered the acceptable approach, that’s awesome!  And the majority of trainees tell me I’m training wrong, that’s what I endeavor for.  If I read about some method that is like nothing anyone else out there is doing, I’m of course GOING to try it, whereas if something looks super regimented, rehearsed, cleaned up and user friendly it’s NEVER going to enter into my calculations.

"I'm just saying, let's give his ideas a fair listen..."

This requires an absence of fear of the unknown…which is the very thing that keeps people in the status quo.  I’ve written a ton about never asking for permission, not seeking reassurance, “take chances, make mistakes, get messy”, and here it is again.  You’re not going to FIND research and studies, you’re not going to find a message board post about it, you’re not going to find a fitness influencer’s review, and if you ask into the void if it’s a good idea, they’re going to say “No”.  That’s exactly what you want!  You already KNOW the results of doing what everyone else is doing: it’s the exact reason you’re seeking something else.  In turn, you want “unproven” methods: within that unknown exists the potential for greatness!  You could sail off the edge of the world OR perhaps discover El Dorado, but at least you will have a DIFFERENT fate.

No, not fear of the unknown, but the opposite: joy!  Folks, after 22 years of training, do you know how excited I get when I see or hear of something I’ve never thought of?  Something “so crazy it just might work”?  I’m so exhausted with the trite “keep a rep in reserve and eat 500 calories over maintenance” gameplan that everyone is running that seeing ANYTHING that deviates from the norm excites me.  At least SOME folks are out there STILL trying to be different.  SOME folks are out there still wanting to be greater than average.  You can join their ranks.  You already KNOW how to be like everyone else: if your goal is to be unlike them, you need to DO unlike them.

ENTERTAINMENT: NOT EDUCATION

Suggestion of this blog post comes by way of my buddy Will, and it gives me full license to put on my old man hat and rage against modern society and the internet, so you know I’m on board.  I have written on several occasions about how much lifting social media I DON’T consume.  You’ll note that I’ve WRITTEN about this: that’s because that’s my preferred way to consume media.  Primarily because, after years of writing ALONG with the years of reading I did beforehand, I can read at a much faster rate than most people can speak information to me.  In addition, I tend to retain it better.  And along with all that, written media is very perfect for “pick up and play” stuff:  I can stop whenever I need to and start again at my leisure, and it’s super simple to “rewind” something if I missed it the first time.  I, however, do appear to be the minority in regards to this preferred style of media, as there are FAR more youtube, instagam, tik-tok, and other video platform channels out there than there are written blogs about training.  But you’re reading this, so thanks!  We may be kindred spirits.

Or probably just this

So now that I’m done patting myself on the back for writing about lifting things, allow me to speak to my issues with many of these video channels.  As I previously wrote: I like written media because I can consume it at the rate I wish to do so.  I can quickly blitz through it, or spend hours agonizing over the details.  Video channels try to operate in the opposite manner: THEY wish to dictate the rate at which information is presented.  Primarily because, the longer your eyes are glued to the channel, the more opportunities sponsors and advertisers have to grab your attention and get your money.  If I were to write an advertisement into this blog, not only would it be totally immersion breaking and work against my very message, but it would also be easy to “skip” compared to shoe-horning something into a video.  

This, in turn, means it behooves the content creator to take a LONG time to get to any sort of valuable/meaningful information, and its most often “hidden” somewhere within the video so you can’t just skip to it without seeing all that sweet, sweet advertising.  As my Grandpa used to call it, it’s a “long climb for a short slide”.  You get long-winded meandering videos with a bunch of jump-cut edits to appeal to our alarmingly short attention spans so that we stay tuned and watch the full 10 minutes for the 15 seconds of goodies.

While they promised you double stuffed...

Which, then, segues into the second (and more significant) issue: how do we keep making MORE content to attract a consistent viewership?  As I’ve written about before regarding there not being anything left to read about (of which, the irony did not escape me then, nor does it escape me now): there’s nothing really new, different or all that interesting about lifting weights.  Folks: Pat Casey figured out how to bench press 600lbs 60 years ago on a bench that you wouldn’t pick up for free on the side of the road, and he did it in a tank top. Why don’t you try to meet that mark FIRST before you start worrying about RIR and junk volume.  So what’s a fitness social media channel to do when there is so little to say and so much time to fill?

We turn to entertainment!  Because that’s what social media is!  Or, at least, what it has become.  We saw this same “evolution” with the news.  “The news” used to be a 1 hour segment on your local television broadcast that summed up the day’s activities (man, I bet some of you folks don’t even know about an era where the TV dictated when shows came on and you had a paper guide that told you what time and channel to watch…but I digress).  It was to the point, primarily because it HAD to be.  Now, with 24 hour news stations, news has become entertainment, and each channel has a specific demographic it is attempting to appeal to in order to retain its viewership.  Your favorite social media channels are doing the same thing!  Because it works!

When art imitates life

And before I go further into my tirade: folks, I don’t hate the player here.  I, of course, hate the game.  But it’s worth appreciating when you’re being played, so you can enjoy the game for the fun that it is instead of taking it too seriously.  No one likes that dude who flips over the Monopoly board.  It’s fake money: let it go.

What is the implication of this?  It means that these channels are NOT information sources; they are ENTERTAINMENT sources.  And there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with using them as such.  I find myself with downtime at work and will navigate my way to Brian Shaw’s channel to watch him eat a prodigious amount of food, …and Geoff Esper for that matter.  I also really enjoyed Man vs Food.  I think I’m learning something about myself.  But in either case: whenever I want to shut off my brain and let youtube entertain me, I know I can go there.  

I don't even try to understand it

HOWEVER, the issue comes when people start to BELIEVE the kayfabe.  This is show business people: “reality TV” has writers; that should tell you all you need to know.  I constantly observe dudes who have never even BEEN to a strongman competition tell other trainees “Strongman eat 10,000 calories a day, EVERY DAY, and still keep their abs”.  No: that one strongman did that ONE time because it made for an entertaining video.  Note all the pomp and circumstance surrounding it?  Their daily lives can’t sustain that, because they have to actually go about LIVING.  Don’t try to live your life based off a meme. 

It’s the same with training.  These dudes aren’t setting PRs every time they train: they’re only releasing training footage WHERE they set PRs.  Why? Because that’s entertaining!  A regular training session is boring, primarily because boring training is what produces big and strong athletes.  The “sexy” stuff is what you earn AFTER the boring training.  I’ve written about this before using a DnD analogy: you grind levels so you can fight bosses.  You’re watching all the boss fights: you aren’t seeing ANY of the millions of fights against goblins.

Although sometimes all people want to watch is a bunch of one-sided fights

My most absolute BRUTAL and effective training blocks were ALL terribly boring.  Load up the bar, do 10x10 squats, die, come back to life, stagger inside, eat and repeat.  No one wants to watch that.  But I will upload the videos of me squatting a set of 50 where I collapse on the floor and convulse and it will get a TON of views and comments….and some folks will think it’s how I ALWAYS train.  Folks, I EARNED that squat set by all those awful workouts that led up to it.  And don’t get me started on the literal hundreds of thousands of reps of band pull aparts I’ve done: no one wants to see that, but it’s probably one of the biggest contributors to my success. 

There is so much GOOD information out there, ready for the picking, if your goal is to get bigger and stronger.  Read “Purposeful Primitive”, “Powerlifting Basics Texas Style”, “The Complete Keys to Progress”, “Super Squats”, “Brawn”, “5/3/1 Forever”, “The Metroflex Powerbuilding Basics Book”, or “Never Let Go”.  You’ll be SO far ahead and ready to take on any physical goal.  And there are definitely plenty of entertaining channels to watch.  But DON’T mix your entertainment and education together.  Take them for what they are.  “Edutainment” just took two good things and combined them into something less than: like a soup sandwich.  

The nutritional equivalent of mixing Westside with Deep Water

And if you’re not willing to do that: take video of your results and post them, so we can all be entertained. 

      

LESSONS LEARNED FROM MS FRIZZLE

 

 

I bet some of you may not have known this, but one of the most valuable scholars on the topic of achieving physical transformation was affectionally referred to as “the Friz”.  I am, of course, referring to “Ms Frizzle” of “The Magic Schoolbus” fame.

 

Seen here, close grip benching 405lbs

 

Allow me to tell you a story gentle reader.  COVID had descended upon us.  It was the spring of 2020, and I was informed that, suddenly, the academic education of my child had become my and my wife’s responsibility, as children would no longer be attending school physically.  My wife and I are both college educated, with masters degrees in political science related field.  My child was quite young.  We could muddle our way through math, absolutely crush social studies, I was a hellacious Physical Education teacher…but then came “science”.  And despite “science” being in the name of my bachelors and masters, I was WAY out of my element.  So…we outsourced.  We went with “edutainment”, and in doing so blazed our way through “The Magic Schoolbus” on Netlflix.  And during my very first observation of the program, I heard the most fantastic quote ever that will ensure the success of any trainee pursuing physical perfection.

 

“Take chances, make mistakes, get messy!”

Sometimes we do all 3 at once!

 

F**k me, we let our kids watch this stuff?!  SHE’S GIVING AWAY THE SECRETS!  And on that note: how sad is it that this secret was being shared on a children’s television program from the 90s and there are adults out there who will grow old and die and NEVER realize the power of this sentiment?

 

Take chances, make mistakes, get messy: you could have no better guidance on how to achieve transformation: physical, emotional, mental, spiritual or otherwise.  One does not change by doing what they have always done: that is stasis.  Maintaining the status quo gets you exactly that: what you’ve been getting up until this point.  The assumption is that, if one is pursuing physical transformation, it is because they are UNSASTIFIED with their current situation.  One does not seek to change that which they are satisfied with.  And so, if we acknowledge that: why is there so much FEAR when it comes to taking chances, making mistakes and getting messy?

Did he take a chance, make a mistake and get messy?  Absolutely.  Be he wasn't afraid..

 

Why are so many trainees absolutely PETRIFIED at the perspective of doing something “sub-optimally?”  Such to the point that they will outsource their decision making to a bunch of people who have FAILED TO ACHIEVE THE VERY GOALS THEY HAVE?!  Hey, look, I slum on a lot of forums, primarily because I have the attention span of a ferret on triple espresso yet also obsessive tendencies that compel me to lock in on one topic forever.  As much as I hate training, I love interacting over it, because its such a part of my life.  But the sheer statistical truth of the matter is that all forums are going to have a significantly greater percentage of the population that is NOT succeeding than succeeding.  Very often, the successful people stop hanging out because…they got what they needed.  They learned the secrets and are good to go.  The people that remain are the new blood that are in search for the answers and the very few diehards that, due to some compulsion, remain and answer questions.  THIS IS NOT A GOOD SOURCE OF INFORMATION.  The signal-to-noise ration will be horrible.  These places are for education: not entertainment (future blogpost to follow on that one), yet trainees will be so afraid of making their OWN mistake that they’ll just let a stranger make it for them.  HUH?!  How is that in any way better?

 

EMBRACE the joy that is dissatisfaction: when we are truly unsatisfied, ANY change is a good one.  This gives us full license to “take chances, make mistakes, get messy!”  What’s the worse that could happen?  We already don’t like our situation: A change will be good.  If it’s a positive one: even better.  But god forbid we do something and regress: NOW we know what DOESN’T work.  Do you have ANY idea how incredibly valuable that knowledge is?  There are dudes out there who won’t decide on a training program for a YEAR because they don’t know what DOESN’T work.  If you stuck with a training program for a solid 12 weeks and then evaluated it, you could know at least FOUR different ways that don’t work by the time that dude tries his FIRST attempt to discover that.  And hell: you might accidentally find one that works within those 48 weeks and just decide to stick with it.  What a novel concept.

And some are good to just make one mistake and repeat it for the full year...

 

This quote from the Friz is so amazing because it speaks to so much.  Action and experience: INVALUABLE assets to physical transformation.  Without action, change simply will not occur.  One must go get messy.  From mistakes, we gain experience, and from experience, we discover how to affect the transformation we want to affect.  And both the action and the experience necessitate taking chances!  There is NO reward for failing to take a chance: not for someone who is truly dissatisfied with their current existence.  If your status quo is worth protecting, then protect it, but if you are seeking a means of transformation, the Friz has outlined the 3 things you need to do.

 

And essential to this process is removing the ego.  When we make mistakes in our process of taking chances and getting messy, we do not take it personally.  We LEARN.  What went wrong?  WHY did it go wrong?  What was the outcome of the wrongness?  Was there ANY value added from this process?  It cannot simply be “I suck” or “This program sucks”: WHY do we and the program suck?  The only bad mistake is the one we don’t learn from, otherwise, they are BLESSINGS.  Every injury we receive as a result of taking chances and getting messy is an opportunity to grow in MANY ways.  When I blew out my ACL, my dad commented on just how big my upper body had gotten the next time he saw me, because I got to spend a LOT of time and energy figuring out how to maximize that new opportunity.  I learned SO much.  Chasing after a 275lb keg press by eating everything that wasn’t nailed down taught me a LOT about nutrition when I went on a multimonth fat loss cycle to undo the damage.  Oh, and I also hit a lifetime strict press PR before that, so that was a great mistake to make. 

NSFW for language...can't control what comes out sometimes

 

And what’s funny about that is I will keep picking up injuries and ouchies and I’ve been training for 22 years.  And so far, it doesn’t look like I’ll stop soon.  So THAT’S the kind of longevity you can get in this game while getting hurt a bunch from making mistakes, which means that I had 22 years of opportunities to take chances, make mistakes and get messy and, in turn, I learned SO much.  You dudes that are worrying about taking chances because of the fear it will affect your longevity in the game: all you’re doing is wasting time.  You have SO many opportunities ahead of you: if you “waste” 6 months on something, you won’t even experience the impact of that loss 3 years from now.  Yet, if you spent those 3 years and 6 months doing the same thing you’ve always done because you’re afraid to take chances, make mistakes and get messy, you will be SO far behind what you could have been.  You’ll be 3 years and 6 months removed from learning, growing, evolving and transforming. 

 

Take chances, make mistakes, get messy.  If elementary school kids can figure that out, you can too.   

ULTIMATE NERDING DAY: A TALE OF 2 BLACK KNIGHTS

 

 

Been wanting to write this one for a while, because it’s too fun being a nerd.  Today, we’re going to discuss the lessons we can learn from two different black knights.  The first one comes to us via Magic the Gathering, and is an OG, because I stopped buying cards back in ’97 when shadow came out as an ability and “RUINED THE GAME”.  Anyway, meet the black knight

 

It still just makes me so happy to see this

 

Let’s not focus on his abilities, his casting cost, his power and toughness, etc.  Today, we focus on the little quote underneath that stuff, referred to as the “flavor text”, which reads “Battle doesn’t need a purpose; the battle is its own purpose.  You don’t ask why a plague spreads or a field burns.  Don’t ask why I fight.”

 

Oh my god I LOVE that quote!  I’m not sure who over at Wizards of the Coast came up with it, but it’s just plain awesome, and it was awesome when I read it back in 1995 and it’s still awesome today, proving that I will forever be a child.  But maybe that’s why I don’t need to warm-up either compared to you old bastards…

Age is just a number

 

But anyway, that quote.  Why I love that quote is because it answers so many OTHER questions aside from “battle”.  So often I get asked “why”, and all I can think of is this quote.  I uploaded a video recently of me doing a 20 rep set of 320lbs on buffalo bar squats followed immediately with 20 deadlifts with 315lbs on the Texas Deadlift bar (and in a later version of it, on an axle)

 

 

And SO many people asked “why”? 

 

Or how about when I pulled 135lbs on the high handle trap bar for 365 reps in a single set on Thanksgiving?

 

 

Why? 

 

Folks: THAT is the reason.  I did it BECAUSE.  There needs to be no other reason than that.  If I did not do these things, these things would not be done!  How can these things be done if no one is doing them?  Quite frankly, if you don’t “get it”, there’s nothing I can do that will explain it to you. 

 

How will we get better without chaos?  How will we improve without challenges?  How will we get stronger without digging deep FOR NO REASON?  As soon as “why” is discussed, purpose doesn’t manifest: meaning dissipates.  When we try to break this down and analyze it, we make it LESS THAN.

 

It's not without precedent

And SO many trainees are SO afraid to do ANYTHING if it doesn’t have an immediately apparent purpose and benefit.  There is a HUGE debate on how much protein to take in to build muscle.  1g per pound of bodyweight, no wait .8g per pound, no it’s 1g per kilo, NO, ACTUALLY it’s about lean mass, WAIT, it’s actually based on your GOAL weight.  But the thing is: people are doing this because they think it’s POINTLESS to eat MORE than that.  Let’s find the bare minimum and not exceed it.  Why would you eat MORE protein than that?  Because protein is amazing!  Because I want to look like the kind of animal that eats a lot of protein.  Do you think a tiger cares about exceeding the amount of protein necessary for muscle building?  Do you think our starving ancestors would cease feasting on a fresh kill once they hit their limit?  It doesn’t matter if it’s building muscle or not: the feasting is its own purpose.

 

Why would you run Deep Water, with its 10x10 squats, when it’s been scientifically proven that you’re just accumulated junk volume with that many reps?  Because Deep Water is its own purpose!  It doesn’t matter if its effective or not: you run it BECAUSE.  Same with Super Squats.  Hell, I’ll throw Smolov in there, despite the shade I will throw at “Coach Smolov” being like Paul Bunyan: the program is its own purpose.  If you have to ask why, its not for you.

 

And now, our other Black Knight, this one by way of Monty Python

 

 

Ladies and gentlemen, we have found my spirit animal.  We should all endeavor to be more “black knightly” in our lives.  For one, he bit off WAY more than he could chew.  He was absolutely no match for Arthur, yet not only did he challenge him, but he challenge him with insufferable confidence to the point of arrogance.  What other way to approach a challenge than that?  If we go in timid, pensive, permission asking, we get exactly what we deserve.  The world will already beat you down enough: you don’t need to lend it a hand.  But when we go in with full confidence, completely blind to our own limitations and short-comings, we offer the necessary amount of positive energy to overcome the gravity of the world in order to create some sort of balance. 

 

But along with that, the Black Knight’s arrogance was not unearned: he demonstrated that he was ABSOLUTELY willing to do WHATEVER it took to achieve his goals.  Irrespective of consequences, irrespective of outcome, he had a dedicated task and he wasn’t going to let trivial things like “missing limbs” stop him.  His single-minded psychosis serves as a model of dedication to the point of ugliness.  When you do something so hard that it stops being admirable and starts being disgusting.  And talk about not worrying about injuries!  There was no regard for consequences here: VICTORY was the goal, and it was going to be achieved by ANY means necessary.

Going heavy in the Futurama on this one

 

How often do we self-impose limits?  (Before I go any further, for f**k’s sake, when you “self-VERB” something, it is, by definition, done to yourself.  Don’t say stupid stuff like “I self-taught myself”.  Duh!  Could you self-teach someone else?)  “I want to be a 242lb powerlifter!”  Sweet: eat this box of pop tarts after you lift.  “Oh, I’m not going to eat unhealthy food, and I need to keep my abs.”  Eh?  “I wanna train like a strongman!”  Sweet: go get some kegs and sandbags.  “My gym doesn’t have those and I’m not going to buy them.”  Eh?  The Black Knight was “getting to yes” right before our eyes!  I’ll win this fight with a sword.  No arms, no sword?  I’m gonna kick!  1 leg?  I’ll headbutt!  Instead of lamenting what he didn’t have, he focused on what he did have!  Do I hear “training with an injury” ringing in the distance?  There are SO many lessons to be learned from this ONE scene.

 

Go celebrate the Black Knights.  Spend some time playing Magic the Gathering with Monty Python on in the background.  Go buy “Heroes’ Feast”, cook a recipe from the Dwarf section and chow down on it while you play.  Get ready to train absolutely bonkers FOR ITS OWN REASON without fear of consequences.  Maybe they will make a card after you one day.