ALL THINGS WEIGHT GAIN

My more perceptive readers have most likely noted that I tend to obsess over whatever it is I’m currently pursuing in my own training, and it reflects in my writing, so I figured I’d just full on embrace it and do a post about all things weight gain.  I’ve been binge reading all my favorite books and articles on the subject, and here’s what they have in common: they don’t mention counting calories or macros at all.  That just takes “the romance” out of the equation: makes it so mechanical and robotic.  So “unhuman”, while we are human, all too human (thanks Nietzsche!)  I loved reading Super Squats and seeing Randall Strossen talk about just prodigious amounts of food, with the only measurement being a gallon of milk.  I loved reading “Eating Through the Sticking Points” by Matt Reynolds, where we measured intake by the pan of brownies.  Chase Karnes’ “How to Stay Small And Weak” should be required reading for all gainers, and once again, no mention of calorie tracking, just taking in lots of food, Paul Carter’s “add a peanut butter sandwich a day” approach, Dan John’s ALSO PBJ based gaining approach in “Mass Made Simple”, etc etc: all of these reports are, if nothing else, so much more INTERESTING to read vs the trite “add 250 calories over maintenance” that you can get from anywhere else.  In turn, I want to write more of what I want to read.  And since I’ve already written “THE Nutrition Post” and detailed my approach to gaining, let’s make this more of an appendix to that and talk about gaining weight in general.  Buckle in: it’s going to be a big one.  I mean, hell, we ARE talking about growing.

 

WHAT I’VE DONE IN THE PURSUIT OF GAINS

I mean...yeah...

In brief summary of my life, martial arts were my passion from ages 6-21 (and I actually just started back up again with Tang Soo Do, so that’s cool), after which point I got married, hung up the gloves and started pursuing lifting as my primary passion.  At that time, I still wanted to be strong more than I cared about my physique, and the only way I knew to be strong was through powerlifting (because there were only two ways to train: bodybuilding or powerlifting, DUH!), so I got sucked into the Elitefts bandwagon.   This was mid 2000s, when Dave was JUST recovering from the effects of what he had put his body through, and the majority of the material on the site was still very “old school” as far as nutrition went…so that was my guiding principle.  No bad calories: get them in and grow.  And before that, I had already experimented with Super Squats.  With those as my guide, I managed to go from 5’9 190lbs to 217lbs in about 9 months during my first big go at bulking, and over the next 14 years I’ve bobbed up and down with weight gain and losses employing more tips and tricks along the way.  These are some of the crazier things I’ve done in pursuit of growth…

 

* I have absolutely done the “gallon of milk a day” while running Super Squats.  I feel it’s a rite of passage, and if you do the program and DON’T drink the gallon of milk, you didn’t actually “do the program”.  Future runs can be done without the milk, but you NEED to do it on the first one to REALLY experience it.  People always talk about this ruining your bowels, but here’s the thing: just don’t be stupid.  If you haven’t had milk since you were a baby, don’t just drink a gallon right off the bat: work up to it.  Randall Strossen says exactly this in the book (which, hey, maybe read it before running the program).  I started with a glass of milk at night before bed, then worked up to having a glass at my evening meal and then before bed, then a glass at every meal, then multiple glasses at meals, which would get me to my gallon.  I was in college at the time with a meal plan, which meant unlimited access to 2% milk.  I kept a gallon in my minifridge in the dorm as well, to keep me compliant.  I was also eating a LOT of food at the time.  Wanna know what goes good with a gallon of milk?  PBJ bagels.

 

* Living in California at the time, I ate at In n Out a lot, wherein my go to meal was three Double Doubles.  They had the perfect “bread to meat ratio”.  I had bought into the idea that burgers were always better choices than fries when it comes to gaining, so I had stopped eating fries at this point and would just order extra burgers.  That’s one of those ideas that’s SORTA true, but too easy to get stupid with.  At Taco Bell, I’d order 4-6 cheesy gordita crunches (those are 500 calories each…and I was never full).  McDonalds was 4-6 McDoubles or 2 Double Quarter Pounders, BK was 2 triple cheeseburgers/triple stackers (unless I was getting breakfast, then it was 3-4 sausage biscuits), Carl’s Jr was 2 double western bacon cheeseburgers, Panda Express was a triple order or orange chicken with fried rice, always ordered “The Feast” at Subway with Itallian Herbs and Cheese (eventually switched to a footlong meatball sub with double meat), 3 Polish Sausages at Costco.  I was a total fast food addict.  I still am one too, but I’m in remission now.

 

* My wife has mini-breadloaf pans that she uses to make loaves of banana bread.  She wraps them in aluminum foil to keep them fresh…which makes them look like big candy bars.  And that’s exactly how I would eat them.  I’d bring a load to work, peel back the foil, and eat the whole thing over the course of work.  Didn’t even slice it: just bite out of the loaf.

She still makes them...but now I slice them.

 

* I’ve already detailed it in this blog before, but I’ve run Building the Monolith before (and I’m actually currently running it), to include the dozen eggs and 1.5lbs of ground beef a day.  I actually had to add MORE meat to it.   And even outside of BtM, I’ve regularly made 10-12 egg omelets during times where I simply couldn’t think of what else to make for dinner.

 

* On multiple occasions, I’ve eaten an entire 2lb pot roast by myself in one quick sitting.  I have a bottomless appetite for meat in truth.  In fact, I wasn’t even trying to gain weight for this story, but when I was 19 I got a job at “Big 5 Sporting Goods”, which was right across the street from Carl’s Jr the VERY summer they released their “Double Six Dollar Burger”, which was a full pound of meat.  They offered a low carb lettuce wrap version, so you know it was practically health food.  I got one of those for lunch EVERY day I worked there.  What’s funny is that the burger actually cost more than an hour’s wage for me at the time, so I ended up LOSING money whenever I worked a 7 hour shift, because we were required to be given a lunch break for 7s for 6s.  The first time I had that burger, it filled me up, and by the end of the summer I’d eat it in the span of like 5 minutes and still be hungry…

 

* When I heard that dextrose and maltodextrin where excellent carbs for post-workout, I found out that those were the primary ingredients in Sweet Tarts and made it a habit to eat a pack of them post workout with my shake.

 

* I have absolutely employed frozen pizzas as a pre-workout meal.  And I should actually call it a pre-pre workout meal, because I was still eating a PB and honey sandwich before I lifted: the pizza was eaten before that.  And, of course, I’m talking about a WHOLE pizza: slices have no place for gainers.  Sometimes I’d switch it up and have a 1lb ribeye instead.

 

* Hey, here’s a non-eating one: I built a home gym.  When I was in college, I had access to the weightroom, which was awesome.  When I graduated, I had to join a for real gym, which was all kinds of awful, but the FINAL straw was when I had JUST written up my conjugate training plan based off the $40 Elitefts Basic Training Manual (which was, in fact, just a complete repackaging of all of their previously released articles on their website…which you can now get for free as an e-book) only to show up to the gym and see a sign that said they were going to be closed for 2 weeks due to remodeling.  I legit went straight to Play-it-Again Sports, bought a 300lb Olympic weightset, busted out my bench press station (flat AND incline) and never looked back.  Fun fact: since I was doing conjugate and needed to do a max effort exercise and because my max squat was GREATER than 300lbs, my very first workout in my home gym was max effort good mornings.  I put the j-hooks backwards on the bench so I could take the bar out of it from behind, unracked it from a bent over position, walked back some dangerous steps and eventually worked up to like a 280something good morning for a single.  That felt so awful I resolved to get some more weight ASAP so I could do some squats.

 

THINGS I DIDN’T DO IN PURSUIT OF GAINS

Meanwhile some of you are wondering where to buy weightless strawberries

Despite that super crazy list above, there are some things even I thought were pretty goofy.  These include…

 

* Use weightgainers.  I’ll caveat here: of course I TRIED weight gainers.  Specifically 3: Serious Mass, MHP’s Up Your Mass and MuscleTech’s Masstech.  And I never made it through a single tub.  The first time I opened up the Serious Mass and saw that the scooper looked like a laundry detergent cup, I honestly had a laugh.  That product is garbage as well: protein powder and maltodextrin: woo!  MHP’s “Up your Mass” WAS a great product back in the day: diverse carbohydrate profile, good fat sources, not loaded with maltodextrin…now, not so much.  And the Masstech was similar: used something other than malto, and I had it for breakfast at the tail end of a mass gaining phase, just to get in some easy calories…but I ended up getting halfway through the tub before I gave it to one of my wife’s co-workers that was trying to put on some size.  The fact is, there’s SO much food out there these days that there’s really just no need for weight gainer.  Hell, just eat some oatmeal or some breakfast cereal if you want a bunch of carbs.  Mix it with protein powder if you want protein.  Or go make an old school blender bomb.  You don’t need some other company to make you a powder.

* Weigh my food.  Come on folks.  Just eat more if you’re not gaining.

 

* Care about gaining fat.  The goal is gaining weight, specifically so I get stronger.  If my lifts are going up: I’m winning.   During that initial 9 month span at age 21, my strength EXPLODED.  I went from a 435lb deadlift to 540, a 335 squat to 420 (both without a belt), a 330 bench to 365 (technically STILL the most I’ve ever benched in my life), and a 200lb press to 235, only VERY recently surpassed with my 266lb axle press, ALSO set after a period of focus on weight gain.  Remember: losing fat is the easiest thing in the world.  All you do is NOT eat.  It’s inaction.  And you’ll be REALLY good at this after you’ve been LIVING eating.  I’m always excited to have my life back after gaining: no more cooking, cleaning, planning the next meal and spending so much goddamn time on the toilet.

 

* On the above, I never worried about my bodyfat percentage before or during a weight gain phase.  The numbers that matter are the ones on the bar.  Those need to go up. 

 

WHAT I WOULD DO DIFFERENTLY

Probably not so many of these...

Really, this is “what I’m DOING differently”, because I’m actually in a gaining phase now that is being QUITE different in my 30s vs my 20s.  Here’s some of the changes/lessons learned.  A big thing to note is that, yeah, most of these are health focused, but they’re ALSO changes that have been really easy to implement that there’s honestly minimal reason to NOT do them.

 

* Pick better saturated fat sources and avoid transfats.  I put away a LOT of fast food previously, and though it’s not terrible to eat on occasion, I was using it as a staple.  That was out of a combination of laziness/addiction to convenience and, of course, enjoying yummy food.  There’s no need for transfats in one’s diet, but saturated fats are still pretty critical…which means you want to pick good sources for them.  I’m clearly no nutritionist/dietician/anything, so this is just my approach, but I opt for organic free range eggs and grassfed beef/dairy as my primary saturated fat sources these days.  I avoid grainfed/non-organic stuff when possible, because apparently the toxic stuff in bodies tends to stay in the fat stores.  On that note…

 

* Eat lean protein sources and direct fat sources rather than try to get all my fats from animals.  I grew up in the 90s, where we rapidly transitioned from “fat is bad” from the 80s to “fat is good” with the Atkins revolution, and somewhere in between we lost nuance.  I think dietary fat is awesome, but there’s also good and bad fat SOURCES.  I was getting all my fat from animals and making zero effort to get any sort of poly or monounsaturated fats from any non-animal sources.  I’d get in some peanut butter on occasion, but that was about it.  These days, I eat a LOT more leaner cuts of meat and use nuts, nut butters/milk and avocados to augment fat.  I also make it a point to eat 92-100% dark chocolate.  By eating lean meats, you don’t need to care QUITE as much about if it’s organic/free range/whatever, because you’re not eating the fat stores, so this can save some costs and just make life a little more convenient, and those plant based fat sources are the bee’s knees these days.

 

* I already touched on it in the above, but to make it abundantly clear: COOK more and eat out LESS.  I’ve written in the past about phasing junk food into a diet to support weight gain, and I still believe in that, but that’s the point: these things should be PHASED in, not done from the start, and it should only be after having EXHAUSTED the conventional methods.  At present, I’m still not out of “clean food” options to gain.  I’ll still eat out with the family, but I also make MUCH better choices when that happens unless it’s specifically a cheat meal.

 

* No direct carb sources.  In a bit of counter-intuitiveness, I’ve found inclusion of carbs more valuable when losing fat vs gaining weight.  I know a lot of authors say you need to take in a lot of carbs to gain weight and make sure you have energy for hard training, but I’m finding that not true at all this time around.  The only way I get any carbs in with my current diet is anything that comes with 2 servings of greek yogurt, 60 calories worth of 100% Dark Chocolate, fiborous veggies and nuts/nut butters (and I’m avoiding cashews because they’re “too carby).  I have zero energy issues and my weight is going up.  I JUST recently started implementing a weekly cheat meal, and even THAT meal tends to be fattier rather than carby (I’ll allow myself some transfats and not-great saturated fat sources).  However, during my recent fat loss phase where I got to my leanest, I made it a point to have a carb-up meal right before my heaviest training days (squats and deadlifts).  It worked well, because leading up to those workouts I felt dead, and the carbs helped me come back to life and fill out a bit.  It all checks: during fat loss, I’m going to be depleted.  During weight gain, even if I’m not eating direct carb sources, I’m going to have so much nutrition going through me in general that I’m at minimal risk of being depleted.  Same reason why a guy gaining weight most likely doesn’t need any supplemental vitamins: they have so much food going through them they’re probably hitting all the marks. 

Joey most likely isn't deficient in any nutrients after this feat...but could probably use some pepto

 

* If no direct carb sources, what macro am I manipulating?  Fats.  Protein has actually dropped a bit since transitioning from fat loss to weight gain, but I’m taking in a LOT more fats than I was before.  Fats do tons of great stuff for the body, and, again, GOOD sources of them do the body plenty of favors.  With fats being 9 calories per gram, it’s a great macro to play with for weight gain.

 

* I’m still a fan of frequent meals (I grew up in the era where we were told eating every 2-3 hours kept the metabolism humming, and even if that’s bunk, I like frequent small meals over infrequent large ones for the sake of digestion), but instead of having all of my meals be equal in size I like to start and end the day with big meals and having smaller meals/snacks in the middle.  I shared a bunch of my breakfasts in my BBB Beefcake review along with the more snack-like meals I bring to work, but a quick overview would be a breakfast of 2 whole eggs and 1 egg white with a slice of fat free cheese, 2.5oz of some sort of red meat, half an avocado, a slice of keto toast with sunbutter, 2 stalks of celery with nuts n more spread and a cup of cashew milk.  My pre-bed meal would be 1/3 cup of organic lowfat cottage cheese (I’d buy full fat but my store doesn’t sell it), 1.5oz of red meat, 1 whole egg, 1/6 of an avocado, 2 stalks of celery with nuts n more spread, 1 slice of keto toast with peanut or almond butter and a cup of cashew milk.  In between those meals would be “meals” of greek yogurt, 5oz of ground turkey with veggies or a chicken breast/thigh, a protein bar, etc etc.  I like book ending the day that way because breakfast gets me off to a solid start nutritionally so that I’m not playing catch-up with my other meals and, IF, for some reason, I end up under-eating for the day, I can make up for it by just taking on to the pre-bed meal.  It’s nice to have that insurance.

 

HOW TO HAVE AN APPETITE/GAIN EFFECTIVELY

You'll definitely create an appetite after you empty your stomach

* GET A PROWLER.  I cannot emphasize this enough.  The prowler is an amazing conditioning tool and WILL make you hungry.  Primarily because it has zero eccentric component to it, so you can just push and push until you are absolutely nuked, feel totally wasted for that day, and fresh the next morning.  Your appetite will be through the roof as a result.  And it doesn’t have to be a “prowler”: use the Rogue Butcher, or the Titan knock offs, or any other company’s pushable sleds.  Or go make your own.  Or go push a car (did that a bunch, but make sure to have someone working the breaks).  I’ll accept pulling a sled too, but walk backwards with it and hold onto handles, rather than looping it into your belt. 

 

* Do your conditioning in general.  The prowler is a must, but other conditioning is great too.  I actually make it a point the start my day with SOME sort of conditioning before breakfast.  Tabata work is great for this: it’s a 4 minute workout.  Here’s one I’ve been doing a lot of recently: 1 armed alternating KB snatches during the 20 seconds on/1 armed alternating KB swings during the 10 seconds off.  Gets you breathing hard and ready to eat, and probably helps with nutrient partitioning or something.  No KB?  Do some burpees.  Or pick a Crossfit WOD or something out of Book 2 of Tactical Barbell or do some updowns or SOMETHING.  Outside of pre-breakfast, there’s always hill sprints, running, weighted vest walks, etc.  Again: these things create appetites, along with getting you in better shape and most likely putting your nutrients to good use.

 

* Take all presses from the floor.  Do yourself this favor.  And it pains me to have to explain this, but “the press” refers to pressing a weight overhead.  “So it’s the overhead press?”  No, because there IS no THE overhead press: pressing a weight overhead can be done with a push press, strict press, push jerks, etc etc.  But THE press specifically refers to pressing without the use of leg drive.  That having been said now, when you press, take it from the floor if you’re looking to gain.  It adds more work to the movement, which is what drives hypertrophy.  In addition, it will build up some athleticism and explosiveness in you, and in many cases actually prime you/put you in a better position to press.  At the least, take the first rep from the floor and press out the rest, but if you’re feeling REALLY spicy, take every rep from the floor.  Exceptions are granted for max singles out of the rack, but you ideally DO want to be able to clean anything you can press.  And if cleaning isn’t your game, learn the continental.  This is also a great tactic for odd objects.  Oh, and if you have access to a log, do viper presses.  You won’t regret it.

You'll get hungry just watching this

 

* Daily work.  I’ve written about this before, but for the unaware, my most successful weight gain phases have included daily resistance training exercises ON TOP OF whatever other training I have for that day.  At present, no matter what is on my schedule, I do the following every day: 50 dips, 50 chins, 50 band pull aparts, 40 bodyweight reverse hypers, 30 glute ham raises, 25 band pushdowns, 20 standing ab wheels, and 10 neck bridges in 4 directions (front, back, left and right).  The key is to keep things WELL below failure, so as to not sap recovery from your actual training.  Sometimes I get these done by just rest pausing until I get the reps, other times I do a bodyweight circuit and chain together a bunch of movements, and other times I just knock out reps here and there (my gym is in my garage, which I pass through to take out the trash/do chores through the house).  Either way, you break down those numbers and I’m getting in an extra 350 dips/chins/pull aparts a week along with everything else.  It all adds up.  This is ALSO a great way to remove some assistance work from your main training workouts so you can shave off time and get out of the gym sooner.  I keep these exercises as bodyweight or banded movements and stay away from externally loading the body, as it seems to facilitate recovery.

 

* I feel like the trend is starting to make itself obvious here: do MORE, not less.  And I know that goes against many of my lifting forefathers’ thoughts on the matter, but I’ve DONE the whole “don’t run when you can walk/don’t walk when you can stand” stuff as it relates to gaining and I found it didn’t result in the sorta growth I wanted.  When you’ve got a billion calories surging through your body, THAT is the time to captailize on it and go make EVERYTHIGN on you get better.  Conjugate training for sure.  Right now, I’m in the best conditioned shape of my life, because I’ve been running 2, 3 and 4 a days as far as training goes.  COVID has shut down the world, I’ve got nothing else to do with my freetime, so I’m just training like a madman and eating all the food in the world to fuel it.  And what’s cool about that is just how many nutrients you can put through your body when the demand is that high.  I get in so many different sources of fats, vitamins, minerals, amino acids, etc etc, because I can eat SO much food with this training, which in turn primes to body well for growth.  When you’re only afforded the thinnest of nutritional margins, you miss out on that stuff.  Leave lethargy and sloth for times of REDUCED calories: that’s known as hibernation. 

 

 

Boy what an epic this turned out to be.  Hopefully some good will come of it.  Be sure to ask any questions you have.