For those readers that have been diligently tracking/being annoyed by my recent carnivore proselytizing, I’m sure this topic title seems just as bizarre as my behavior, but I assure you I possess the experience and faculties to discuss the topics of baking and sandwich making and how it relates to you! And it’s honestly a result of trolling facebook carnivore spaces that I arrived here, as, much like in the lifting world, I’m finding many individuals keep asking the question “Am I allowed?” For carnivore, it’s something like “am I allowed to use spices/spritz lemon juice on my food/eat food that has touched a leaf”, and in training we see the question of “am I allowed to add curls to Starting Strength/skip the conditioning in Building the Monolith/make rows a 5/3/1 movement?” In both instances, we observe the individual approaching the process of physical transformation with the wrong mindset: these folks are cake bakers, when they NEED to be sandwich makers.
No...just stop
And, of
course, now I do the explanation piece.
Anyone who has ever engaged in baking of ANY manner of baked good is
fully aware of just how much of baking is a chemistry experiment. Baking
requires the correct ingredients, measured to the CORRECT amount, and, often,
at the correct temperature as well. You
could have all the ingredients assembled and in the correct amounts, but if
your milk is cold and it’s supposed to be room temperature, your cake is now
officially a delicious baked brick. And
then from there you need to actually execute the proper baking OF the baked
good: bake it at the correct temperature for the correct amount of time. Some baked goods need to be taken out of the
oven and off the baking sheet ASAP, whereas others are left on the sheet to
continue to cook OUT of the oven, and some are left in the oven with the oven
shut off, letting the residual heat continue to cook it. Everything is very precise and exacting, and
if you screw up ONE part of the process, you screw up the entire cake.
Sandwiches
are FAR more forgiving, because whereas a cake is a specifically defined idea,
a sandwich is more of an intent: put something in between something else so you
can eat it. And I specifically phrase it
as “something in between something else” because to say “meat between bread”
would technically NOT be true. That is
to say: it would be limiting. You can
make sandwiches with no meat whatsoever (hello classic PBJ), AND sandwiches can
be made with rolls or other grains aside from simple traditional bread, to say
nothing of the ever controversial topic of “is a hot dog a sandwich?” They can be as plain as just a slice of ham
between two slices of white bread, or you can make a true Dagwood of a
sandwich. Sauces and toppings are
dealers choice, they can be savory or sweet or a combination of the two (hello
Fool’s Gold Loaf…and goodbye waistline!).
Yes, sure, there are named sandwiches out there they have certain rules
they have to conform too, like the Rueban or the Club, but even then you’ll
find plenty of places willing to take artistic creative license with these
things (you put avocado on any sandwich and suddenly it’s Californian, whereas
pineapple makes everything Hawaiian), but for the most part, a sandwich is
honestly more of an agreement than a hard defined topic: we took something and
put it inside of something else so we could hold onto it while we eat. Cakes tend to be a bit more stringent.
Just in case that Dagwood reference was lost on you
The process
of physical transformation is a similar process: it’s making a sandwich. Good ingredients help make good outcomes, and
when paired with good execution we get even better results, but there’s no one
singular ingredient or methodology that is going to make or break
outcomes. Trainees want to believe that
if just ONE variable is askew, the whole thing will collapse. “Did I ruin my results by getting 6 hours of
sleep instead of 8?”, “Did I ruin my results by not setting a PR on this last
workout?” Akin to wondering if you
ruined your sandwich by using mustard instead of mayo. Nope: you just made it different. A sandwich is effectively limitless in it’s
potential: you have to REALLY start deviating from the norms to turn a sandwich
into a “non-sandwich”, whereas cakes are pretty easy to ruin. Your physical transformation process is
similar: so long as we abide by the principles of effort, consistency and time,
we can continue to transform. It may
take a slightly different route than originally intended, but it will STILL be
transformation, and who knows: we might accidentally discover something more
delicious than we originally intended.
Of course,
it’s worth asking the question of WHY we want to deviate in the first
place. Quite often, many of you sandwich
makers haven’t even TRIED the sandwich before you wanted to change it. Like a child who only eats bologna on white
bread with American singles (fun fact: it’s not called “cheese” because…it’s
not cheese), if you’re not willing to branch out and try new things AS they
were intended, you miss out ON those new experiences and, in turn, an
opportunity to develop new tastes and preferences. You might discover that you’re a huge fan of
rye bread once you get yourself a reuben, or realize that cheesewhiz CAN
actually be a sandwich topping when you get yourself a legit philly
cheesesteak, or you possibly discover you have a toxic allergy to onions one
day after avoiding them for years…but at least now you know. Yes, this is not cake baking, you don’t need
to have anxiety about making the “wrong” choice when you’re standing in line at
Subway, but maybe instead of ordering your 400th ham and yellow cheese
sandwich, you get a little wild and go for the meatball sub today.
Or REALLY eat like a King
Who knows:
you might like it.
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