HOPE IS NOT A PLAN

Already it’s fascinating for me to discuss plans when I am the champion of “Chaos is the plan”, but let us appreciate that often, within chaos, there IS no hope, so the premise that “hope is not a plan” actually fits well here.  “Hope is not a plan” is one of my favorite quotes to introduce into discussions WHEREIN we are attempt to develop plans or courses of action because, quite often, I find that “hope” is the contingent variable OF the plans of many, in similar manner that the “Underpants Gnomes” of South Park had no real notion of what step 2 of their plan was to make a fortune.  Everything else will be laid out in meticulous detail, all variables accounted for and squared away, but finally, when it comes time to actually make the plan SUCCEED, we discovered that success is entirely premised around hope…and, in turn, destined to fail.  “Abandon all hope” is not necessarily a call to pessimism but, instead, actionable advice and guidance when it comes time toward drafting up plans for success, because in the absence of hope as a variable, one must begin to actually implement strategies and tactics that will succeed in the absence OF all hope.  Let’s discuss wherein we observe these failures in the realm of physical training.

It's practically foolproof!

Quite often, in the topic of “bulking” (a term I deride because it’s meaning continues to get twisted, abused and manipulated by hucksters and the ignorant that ape them), hope is the PRIMARILY tool being implemented, and the results go on to show just how hopeless we are.  The term “dreamer bulk” originally referred to a screename on Bodybuilding.com that went on to perform one of the most nutritious failed bulks of internet history but now goes on to accurately reflect the reality of all failed bulks: you must have been dreaming to think this strategy would work.  This is, again, because these bulking plans are premised entirely around hope.  Specifically, the dreamer bulker approaches the entire process backwards: they eat a LOT of food and then HOPE that it turns into muscle when they go lift weights.  Very often, these individuals have the diet “dialed in”, reflected by having a set macro and calorie goal that they ALWAYS hit, if not exceed, every day no matter what!...while the training is a bit of an afterthought.  “Yeah, I’ve been getting in 3500 calories a day, 250g of protein, I make sure to get in all my carbs pre, post and peri workout, and then I go do PPL 6x”.  What the f**k is PPL 6x?  That’s not a plan, it’s not even a training split, it’s 4 letters and a number.  It creates the ILLUSION of intensity because “everything is taken to failure”, of which you realize that, in order FOR that to be true, with a training protocol that necessitates training 6x a week, the actual effort employed in each session has to be SO paltry that there is ZERO stimulus FOR muscle to grow.  It’s all machines and isolation work with minimal heavy loading, “great pumps” and zero progress, followed by a gigantic caloric surplus, most often of “protein maxxed” hypergarbage, wherein the result is 16 weeks wasted and being in a terrible physical state that necessitates going on a “cut”…which oh boy, let’s talk about hope there!

 

Because thinking is hard, most in the fitness sphere want to sell all physical transformation as a math equation, and never is this more accurate than in the realm of fat loss.  “It’s all Calories In/Calories Out” which, though accurate, is unhelpful when it comes to formulating a plan for success, because new trainees will simply take THAT maxim and make THAT the plan.  “All I have to do is eat 500 calories below my maintenance and I’ll lose 1lb a week, and then I just do that until I’m lean.  How come EVERYONE isn’t a bodybuilder?”  And really, it’s the absence of THINKING that final thought that is the downfall here, because if we DID ask that question, we’d realize how much hope is the necessary operating variable in such a “plan”.  “Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth”, and diets are OFTEN punched in the mouth by things like…hunger.  Hunger, cravings, schedules, social obligations, feelings of fatigue, and all of these are issues we can run into when things are going RIGHT on the diet.  What if we discuss all the fun biological variables that come into play as well, like how our metabolisms will downregulate and NEAT will naturally reduce when food intake is restricted and suddenly we need to re-adjust our math equation, and how THAT might be an issue if we came into this fat loss phase overdieted with minimal caloric runway, primarily because we ran that “dreamer bulk” above and didn’t really build any appreciable lean tissue to begin with so we don’t have much of BMR to operate off of.  You came into this simply HOPING you could eat 500 calories below maintenance until you were lean, and reality punched you in the mouth.

"What's the harm of just one bite?"

 

Hope is not a plan.  We must be hopeless, which does NOT mean that we must be powerless.  Much as per Nietzsche’s declaration that God is dead, when HOPE is dead, we “re-create yourselves: and let this be your best creation”.  Instead of relying on hope to get us to our objective, we take success into our own hands and MAKE it happen.  When we gain, we do so by ensuring that our TRAINING is dialed in and effective at the intended goal of building muscle and THEN we eat in a manner in order to fuel that metabolic process.  And that “manner” is not simply based on numerical value but on QUALITY of nutrition as well, understanding that our biology is complex and benefits from a wide variety of contributions from nutrition that are not necessarily easily quantifiable.  And, in turn, we appreciate that, on the opposite side of the spectrum, it’s not a matter of eating less food, but of developing the necessary strategies to ensure COMPLIANCE with such a protocol of controlled starvation.  Discovering the foods that trigger binging and coming up with strategies to remove them from the diet WITHOUT creating a sense of restriction that results in hyperfixation, figuring out how to navigate blood sugar response to avoid feeling foggy, weak, and experience significant sugar cravings, discovering the foods and eating windows that allow us to feel satiated, managing schedules in order to ensure access to the foods we need when we need them, etc etc.  Success in physical transformation means having a strategy that will lead us along the path toward the goal, NOT depending on sheer willpower and hope to make it all happen.

 

Hope is not a plan, which is not a negative, because in a world without hope, we still have ourselves to depend on.

 

     

“TRAIN LIKE/LOOK LIKE” DOESN’T WORK

One of the simplest pieces of advice that is frequently administered online is “if you want to look like X kind of athlete, train like X kind of athlete”.  If you want to look like a soccer player, train like one, wanna look like an MMA fighter, train like one, etc etc.  And as much as I am a fan of Occam’s Razor (it makes the cutting clean), this is one of those instances where it manages to fail us and, instead, a fair degree of nuance and analysis is required to really understand what is going on under the hood here.  And that’s where I want to take this discussion today, because it’s honestly a really fascinating world to explore.  I posit that the majority of top level elite athletes (I’m not being redundant there: I am meaning to speak specifically OF those athletes who are the best AMONG the elite) achieved their physiques IN SPITE OF their training rather than as a result of it, and what we are observing is the effect of “generational” genetics at play: those kind of unicorns that come around once in a generation, grace us with their presence, and then vanish once again into the ether.  We are simply blessed in modern times to get so EXPOSED to these generational talents that we take it for granted that they even exist, but in an era prior to instant information exchange as provided to us by the internet and satellite communications you very well could have just spent your whole life f**king off in your little hamlet and had no idea that the next township over there was a man who could carry a full grown bull through the marketplace.  But, in turn, BECAUSE we are so overly exposed to these individuals, we are unable to fully appreciate just what unique specimens they TRULY are, and that attributing their outcome to be a product of their training is misattributing cause and effect here.  They do not look the way they look because they train the way they train: they train how they train to get GOOD at their activity, and their physique is a reflection of just how genetically blessed they are SUCH THAT, when combined with the skills that come with athletic training, they are a total dominant athlete.

By all accounts, all of this was true

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Ok, let’s begin by establishing something right off the bat: top level athletes in sports that are NOT physique competitions (bodybuilding and all the permutations of it) flat out do NOT look the same.  Already people don’t like to hear this, but it’s true.  One of the most dominant MMA fighters of all time was Fedor Emelianenko, which, if you looked at him, looked more like a world champion bowler than a dude that could put you into a coma, but he walked along fellow MMA heavyweight great Kevin “The Monster” Randleman who, by contrast, appeared to be carved out of obsidian.  And, already, in proof of concept, Fedor was clearly the superior fighter compared to Kevin (demonstrated both by competition record AND in their own match against each other), but Kevin’s immensely superior physique spoke to a reality such that he was such an incredibly genetically blessed physical specimen that he was able to exist AMONG the gods of MMA.  Both men trained for the sport of MMA, but training for said sport revealed VERY different physiques: both of which being the manifestation of the latent genetic potential within both athlete.  And the world of MMA is an excellent example of this, for you have Roy Nelsons, Tim Slyvias, Daniel Cormiers, and also Ken Shamrocks, Bas Ruttens, Brock Lesnars and Allistar Overeems.  Hershel Walker ALSO fought and won an MMA match…and why not discuss him as well?

Keep in mind he looked like this AFTER retiring "from his prime"

When God used “create-a-player” to make Herschel Walker, he was using cheat codes, because he breaks all the rules of reality.  He won both of his MMA matches at the age of 38-39 AFTER a full NFL career spanning 11 years itself.  NFL careers AREN’T known for their longevity promoting capacities: to win an MMA match AFTER such a long stint in a sport notorious for destroying bodies would be like running an Ironman in reverse, finishing off with the swim, and then killing a great white shark while still in the open waters.  But even CRAZIER about Mr. Walker is the absolutely bonkers physique he built for himself employing a protocol of ONLY bodyweight exercises.  He achieved a physique that physique athletes dedicate their lives ATTEMPTING to achieve, and his was simply a consequence of an attempt to get stronger for his sport: no actual desired physique based outcome motivated it.  Contrast Herschel Walker with the various other bodies that exist in the NFL, which in itself is a cultivation of the cream of the crop of the sport of American Football, to say nothing of those folks in MMA as well, and we further appreciate the reality that training is NOT what is driving the physical outcome here: the training simply made these folks GOOD at the sport, while their genetics elevated them to an elite level.  And before I’m accused of being myopic about sports here, appreciate how Usian Bolt doesn’t look like Tyson Gay, how Ronaldo Cristiano compares to Matt Turner, etc.  Even in the world of lifting, Mariusz Pudzianwoski and Derek Poundstone just plain looked DIFFERENT compared to the dudes they were dominating in the sport.  Some folks are simply “born better”.

Again: this is how Mariusz looked AFTER he retired from a sport focused on lifting and "got smaller"

Because, ultimately, every sport is simply a “genetics sifter”.  Sports operate at various levels of competition, starting with local and progressing through various echelons until you reach “elite”.  At the lower levels, one can overcome an absence of genetic talent with an abundance of heart and skill (we all love the Rocky story for this reason), and vice versa as well, but as we continue to advance higher and higher through the ranks, eventually EVERYONE has heart and skill…but you can’t train or learn genetics.  It’s why they’re called “gifts”.  And, in turn, as we climb higher and higher up the ladder, what we begin to see is that there are some folks who are so genetically blessed that they simply become Adonises whenever they do ANY sort of physical activity (if even that).  Not only do they have the necessary physical structure that lends itself well to the sport (being tall if they play basketball, having short limbs and a long torso if they’re a weightlifter, etc), but they also have a biology and anatomy that is just ready to explode with muscle while having an incredibly low personal fat threshold. 

 

Which ALSO means that we even have to discount the notion of the one sport MEANT to achieve physical perfection, because ESPECIALLY among bodybuilders, genetics are king.  It’s a truly unique double/triple whammy there, because in the professional setting, not only is it about genetic structure and response to training, but ALSO genetic response to drugs.  Some folks are able to get MUCH bigger outcomes with smaller dosages, which means greater longevity through the rigors of the sport, meaning more time/opportunity to continue to improve the physique.  Those of us remaining natural will only be able to rely on our natural genetic talent for putting on muscle in the first place, but if we’re built like a daddy longlegs, it won’t really matter HOW many 21s for guns we do: we’re just not going to look like Larry Scott.

Amazing basketball genetics: no future in bodybuilding

 

BUT, all hope is not lost here!  We have just made Nietzsche’s declaration that “God is dead” by telling you that you can NOT look like someone else by training like them.  But in the absence of said god, Nietzsche provided us “amor fati”, and the quote “Re-create yourselves, and let this be your best creation”.  And our best creation IS what we can achieve.  Fundamentally, we must understand and appreciate that the “look like” portion of our results is the outcome of REVEALING our genetic potential through the employment of hard physical training, and from there it’s on us to discover that physical training that is best suited FOR our unique genetic predispositions.  That will allows us TO achieve our best outcomes is what is best for us.  Sport training is excellent for exactly that: becoming better at our desired activity, and we should do exactly that FOR that goal.  To improve our “look like” portion, we build as much muscle as we are able to and try to keep our fat at the level that allows us to continue to perform as best as we can.  And we do that by eating in the manner that is best suited for us as well: not by attempting to “burn away the fat” by training like said athletes.  I can assure you that Mariusz never had to do a cutting phase to be as lean as he walked around at, nor did Mike Tyson, or any of these other dudes that were simply “born better”.  Let us NOT lament that we are NOT these generational talents: let us celebrate that we even got to witness them in the first place, and allow them to motivate US to reach our own personal absolute best.  

LESSONS FROM LEMMINGS

Being born in the 80s and growing up in the 90s, access to a computer was a novel concept as a kid, and we were typically limited to short durations of that in what was deemed “computer lab” in school.  These 30-45 minute blocks once a week or so were supposed to expose us to the wonders of the modern world which, of course, to us kids, really meant a way to play video games in school.  Selections were extremely limited back then, and aside from Oregon Trail (which BOY could I write about some lessons learned from that as well), the other classic staple was a game called “Lemmings”.  The premise was simple enough: you had to guide a group of “lemmings” (which looked nothing like an actual lemmings) through a series of obstacle courses in order to get to the stage’s exit.  Stages were become increasingly more complex over time, requiring increasingly complex strategies to achieve the objective.  What did NOT grow in complexity over time were the lemmings themselves.  They only possessed the capacity to move forward and, should they run into an obstacle: turn around and move the other way.  The player has the ability to assign skillsets to certain individual lemmings (climbing, parachuting, demolition, building, etc), but he can not dictate WHEN the lemming employs this skillset: the lemming will simply use these skills when they encounter an objective where their skillset is relevant.  That is to say, the player couldn’t tell a demolition lemming “plant the bomb…NOW!”, but instead, he selects a lemming to be the “demolition lemming”, and as soon as that lemming runs into a destructible object, it will use its skillset.  This incredibly long explanation of a computer game from 1991 is here because the lessons this game taught us are SO incredibly relevant as it relates to matters of physical transformation.  Ultimately, our bodies are on a fixed trajectory: it’s up to our minds to do the necessary strategic implementation to ensure that, as we mindlessly shamble forward in hopes of reaching the objective, we don’t run into resistance that forces us to turn around and walk the other way.

This was the Fortnite of Second Grade 1992

Ultimately, and perhaps unfortunately, free will is an illusion.  Yes, that’s quite a deep proclamation on a blog about physical transformation, but allow me to demonstrate with a personal story.  Once again: I was born in the 80s, during a time when smoking was still pretty prevalent in American culture.  My mother was a smoker (note the past tense: she quit when I was in middle school and has never lit up again, I’m incredibly proud of her).  When she found out she was pregnant with me, the prevailing wisdom at the time was for smoking mothers to NOT quit smoking during the pregnancy, operating under the premise that the shock to the system of withdraw could damage the fetus.  For one: this is one of the many reasons I’m never too keen on the “latest scientific understanding”.  But, in turn, I was a low birthweight baby, because that’s kinda what happens when you smoke during pregnancy.  But not to worry, because the OTHER prevailing wisdom at the time was to put cereal in the formula bottle of low birthweight babies to help fatten them up so that they’d sleep through the night (on our stomachs, surrounded by soft pillows, to simulate the womb…SIDS was a real issue for my generation).  THIS meant I went from a low birthweight baby to a CHUBBY baby in rather short order, which perpetuated into me being a chubby toddler, and eventually a chubby kid.  And I stayed “90s fat kid fat” until high school, wherein I righted the ship effectively through sheer willpower and overcompensation and became the fitness addict/nut I am today.

 

None of the above is meant to be a sob-story, but more a demonstration of what I mean when I say free will is an illusion: I had NO say in the condition of how I was born, and we can see how it already set me on a path early in life that I had no control over.  I eventually gained the agency necessary to be able to implement INTERVENTIONS to overcome my condition, but all I was doing at that point was course correcting the trajectory that my body was sent on from day 0.  And I’m only discussing “nurture” here in the nature vs nurture: just imagine how deep this discussion can go as it relates to genetic predispositions. 

Thanks again mom!

 

Bringing up my mother again (I’m so blessed to have her as a mom): her blood has been studied by Princeton, primarily because her HDL was 125.  I did NOT inherit the fitness bug from this woman: she proudly tells the story of how, in her 4 years of serving in the Air Force, she managed to never have to do the annual physical fitness test and, to this day, is unsure if she ever COULD run a mile if called upon.  She pioneered intermittent fasting, because growing up she only ever ate dinner, and when she DID eat it, one of her favorite things to eat was either a loaded baked potato or bacon cheese fries from “Hot Dog on a Stick” at the mall.  And as a fat kid, I was envious of her BECAUSE she ate this stuff and maintained what was referred to as a “petite” frame at 5’1 and barely breaking 100lbs.  Her mom had a similar blood profile, and THAT woman grew up in that interesting generation that didn’t seem to care to eat any meat aside from hamburger patties, boiled hot dogs and lunch meat (I always knew when Grandma was coming to visit because suddenly our house was LOADED with the most incredible junkfood).  And, in turn, whenever I get my bloodwork taken, my docs, at first, scold me over my LDL (yup, got that from them too) and then go “Holy crap, what is going on with your HDL?!  How do you get it that high?” 

 

Now that you have a long and unasked for detailing of my family history, reflect on your own and realize, again: you had no say in any of this.  The day you were born, you were set on a path, you loyal lemming you.  There is an objective to be reached at the end of the level, and your goal is to arrive there, knowing full well that, as soon as you bump into resistance, you’re going to walk yourself back instead of forward.  With this understanding, it means that the only tools you have at your disposal is your ability to CLEAR THE PATH.  You cannot give the lemming directions, it has no ability to listen to you, all it knows how to do is walk forward until it either reaches the goal or runs into resistance that forces it to turn around.  You have to find a way to clear all the resistance so that the only option it has is to reach the end goal.  This means having an understanding of WHERE your body is heading so that you can find the obstacles that are in the way and implement interventions to clear them BEFORE you get to them.

Knowing where you are is helpful in knowing where you are going

 

Because, quite frankly, if there is no free will there is no willPOWER.  Which is why we see Nietzsche refer to the notion of “will TO power” instead: the idea of an instinctive drive to overcome.  Will TO power removes the notion of agency and, ironically enough, makes it that our actions DO exist outside of our control and that it’s some instinctive drive that compels us to overcome.  But in either instance, the takeaway is that we cannot rely on our ability to MAKE ourselves to do something as a means of achieving physical transformation.  At best, this is a short term “fix” which has long term and significant consequences downstream.  You may think that you found a cheat code for the game, but then you go on to discover that your lemmings have simply all walked off the cliff and died.  They bumped into resistance, you tried to just force them to walk through it, and it just made them turn around even HARDER and walk away faster.

 

All is not lost here though: it simply means that we have to appreciate that ALL of us are playing a different stage of lemmings, so, in turn, we’re all going to need to employ a DIFFERENT strategy to be able to get to the end objective.  Sure, we can borrow tips and strategies from others, but if we try to just copy them directly, we’re not going to get to the end of OUR level.  We need to appreciate what our predispositions are as they relate to nutritional preferences and strategies (are we fasters, grazers, meat eaters, grain munchers, etc), training (do we need variety, do we need numbers, do we need freedom, etc), along with the tools we’ve been given (are we hinge/pullers, squat/pushers, etc).  And once we get a lay of the land and an understanding of what the level looks like, we need to implement the correct and appropriate interventions to get us to the end of the level.  If we try to use someone else’s intervention because they swear “it’s the best one” but it does NOT fit our current situation, our little lemming is just going to run into an obstacle and turn around on us.   We need to clear their path so that they can keep walking forward.

 

That, or work out a deal with Cyttorak

But hey, at least in this game we don’t die of dysentery.