‘IF YOU HAD TO PICK JUST ONE”

This is always a fun mental exercise: limiting ourselves and seeing what we come up with.  What initially inspired this was watching a video from Alex Bromley, where he totally blew my mind by performing cambered bar squats with an open trap bar, because it got me thinking about how awesome that piece of equipment is…which, of course, led to the question of “if you had to pick JUST one…”

 

BAR

I’m going to be a total cad here, because I DON’T own it, but because of that video, if I DID have to have ONLY 1 bar, I’d actually opt for an open trap bar rather than a conventional barbell.  I’m specifically a fan of the design of the Rep Fitness open trap bar design, which a few other companies utilize as well (I’m unsure who the originator is), primarily featuring a rounded tubing compared to the square style tubing typically seen in trap bars. 

 

The trap bar/hex bar/Gerard bar was originally conceived of as a way to allow those trainees with brittle lower backs to still have a manner of deadlifting available to them, as it centered the weight around the lifter rather than putting it out in front of them.  Paul Kelso shook things up quite a bit when he demonstrated that you can also press overhead with this bar as well, which is a unique training stimulus by putting the weight center aligned AND also creating a bit of a deficit, since the bar goes around the lifter rather than stopping on their clavicle.

This book will definitely sell you on the bar

 

But this open design also allows for cambered bar squatting, as I mentioned in the intro, alongside zercher cambered squatting.  THIS is huge, because though some folks argue the trap bar deadlift is more like a squat than a deadlift, this is simply ACTUAL squatting, which opens up a lot of avenues.  Along with this, lunges, rows, and even benching can be performed with this bar.

Mind...blown

 

But so far, I’ve said things that can ALSO be done with a barbell, but the OTHER movement we can do with the open trap bar is the farmer’s walk.  And yes: I’ve spoken before about how farmer’s walk handles are superior to the trap bar when it comes to a farmer’s walk, but ultimately we’re discussing a “Swiss army knife” approach when it comes to this one tool.  No one part of the Swiss army knife is going to be superior to an individual tool specifically designed for one function, but the knife is full of “good enough” tools to get you through whatever situation you encounter, and the trap bar farmer’s walk absolutely answers that mail.  NOW you have one bar that can train all the essential movements for getting bigger and stronger (squats, deads, presses, rows) AND you’ve got loaded carries covered as well.  You hit ALL the Dan John bases there (push, pull, hinge, squat, loaded carry) with just one piece of equipment, and it’s about the same price as a quality barbell as well. 

CAVEAT: If at all possible, I’d include some rubber patio pavers in this set-up. For one: It’d open the door for ROM progression training with the pulls, but along with that, you could go by with JUST the trap bar this way…meaning you wouldn’t need a rack or set of stands!  You could simply stack the pavers up like jerk blocks in order to elevate the bar high enough to set up for squats or presses, and THAT means that this whole set up could be stripped down and put away in between workouts.  SUCH a low footprint with such a high effect.

 

FOOD

Rocky was a chump

 

Eggs.  Keep in mind, I am saying “food” and not “meal”, because, of course, I already wrote a post titled “when in doubt: steak and eggs”, but also because I know some of you asked yourself this question and answered with “chicken, rice and broccoli”, to which I say of course, shame on you: how boring, and NOT in the spirit of the exercise. 

 

No: if I had to pick one FOOD, it would be eggs.  Why?  For one: they’re a complete protein, which is kind of important for a goal of physical transformation, to say nothing of simply STAYING ALIVE due to the whole “essential amino acids” concept.  And the same goes for fats: eggs contain all the essential fatty acids we need to survive, let alone thrive, especially if these are some good pasture raised eggs that have a solid amount of Omega 3 in them.  The saturated fat in eggs are crucial for testosterone production, and eggs also contain vitamin A, D, E, K, and a whole host of B vitamins.  So, already, eggs are awesome, but along with that…

They bring us so much joy! (props if you at all get this reference)

 

…just like the open trap bar, eggs are like the Swiss army knife of food, because there’s a million different ways to make eggs.  Of course, you can Rocky them and just drink them, but you can fry them in SO many different styles (sunny side up, over easy/medium/hard), soft/hard boil them, poach or scramble them, make them into omelets or frittatas, etc.  And along with THAT, you can change the macro composition of your egg dish by using either the yoke OR the white in varying degrees.  If you want to make it protein heavier, use more whites.  Heavier in fats?  Use more yolks. 

 

And funny enough, eggs even have a trace amount of carbs in them, for those of you that care about that sort of stuff.  They clock in at about .6-.7g of carb per egg, which may seem insignificant, BUT, if we ARE going full on Gaston mode here and eating 5 dozen eggs each morning, that’s 36-42g of carbs, which CAN be enough to stay out of ketosis, if you’re wanting to do just that.  AND, if you are antsy about carbs, once again: play around with the whites to yolk ratio.  It goes to show the versatility of this one food.  And hell: I’ve ONLY been discussing chicken eggs here: there is a whole WORLD of eggs to explore, each with their own unique attributes.  I still have it as a goal of mine to one day eat a platypus omelet: made with the eggs, meat and milk of this unique egg laying mammal.

 

BOOK

You probably had a coin flip between this and Deep Water

As challenging as this idea may have seemed for me, given how many books on lifting I’ve devoured due to my nerdery, I quite quickly settled on “Super Squats”, to the surprise of some and total and utter lack of surprise of others.  But allow me to discuss the merits here.

 

Like the other previous two entries, what I dig about Super Squats is that it CAN do it all, and it does it quite efficiently.  It’s a book you can read in an afternoon, but it can set you up for the rest of your life.  The book contains THE Super Squats program, for sure, but it also contains an abbreviated version of that program, AND a follow-on 5x5 program to be run AFTER 6 weeks of Super Squats, in order for the trainee to get some time away from the high reps and rediscover some low rep strength while their body recovers.  Along with that, it even has some alternative Super Squats protocols listed, to include 2x15, 3x10 and 1x30 approaches for the breathing squat sets.  With all this, we already have “programming for life”, for those out there that only ever want to read just ONE book.  But wait: there’s more!

Almost as good as chocolate and peanut butter

 

The book ALSO contains instructions on how to perform ALL the exercises in the programs, along with alternative exercises that can be used.  So, once again: with the alternatives, we open ourselves up to even MORE programming options, and, in some sort of desert island scenario where we have no access to the internet, we STILL have a resource that can teach us HOW to lift.  And don’t laugh: reading descriptions of HOW to lift is exactly how I learned.  Occasionally, I’d even get a picture!  So now the book is going to teach us HOW to lift and then give us all the programming we need…but it’s not done yet!

 

The book ALSO contains nutritional protocols specifically for achieve the goal of getting bigger and stronger.  It lays it out very plainly with simple, quality foods that are primarily single ingredient, not ultra-processed, and wholesome.  There’s no calorie counting, macros, etc, just a focus on taking in a large amount of quality food…and, of course, milk.  Is it perfect?  Of course not, but as far as the Swiss army knife approach goes, this will definitely get you to your goals.  And we still haven’t even discussed the parts of the book that go into the psychology of training in such an intense manner or the delightful retelling of the history of the squat/program.  Really, if you only had one book and this was it, you’d be set.  

Are there others out there that could do a fantastic job?  Absolutely, similar to how there are other answers to the other two questions that would be just dandy (a good traditional barbell has withstood the test of time for a reason, and folks have lived quite well on diets of beef, salt and water), but, for me, at this moment, I feel like these are the best answers I have.

NOW LET'S GET CRAZY

Get?  We're there dude!

 

What makes this mental exercise even wilder is if I actually thought about taking these 3 and putting it all together.  You absolutely COULD do Super Squats with the open trap bar.  In fact, squatting with that bar might be ideal for Super Squats, because failing with it wouldn’t be quite as catastrophic as what typically occurs with a barbell: you can simply squat down and set it on its feet, similar to a yoke. You may have to get creative with the pull overs, or just find a doorway to do radar chest pulls, but you can quite easily do rows, straight legged deadlifts, presses, some manner of benching, curls, calf raises, etc with this one bar.  You’d be limited on the follow on 5x5 program, since power cleans would be a no-go, but maybe we’ll just do some trap bar high pulls and call it good. 

 

As far as the nutrition goes, you definitely won’t have milk on your side, but eggs CAN be consumed as a beverage (egg whites, in particular, go down pretty easy), and you can also just plain eat enough eggs to facilitate growing, as I’m not going to say one NEEDS to drink a gallon of egg whites a day… 

 

Although now that I’ve said that, let’s compare the macros.  If we’re talking egg whites, I feel like the most accurate comparison would be against skim milk, as both are fat free protein sources.  A gallon of skim milk is going to be 1,440 calories, with 144g of protein, and 208g of carbs, of which 192 are sugar.  If we went with Fairlife, that’s 1280 calories, with 208g of protein, and 96g of carbs, all of which being sugar.  Compare this to egg whites, which will clock in at 1,872 calories, with 424g of protein and 29ish grams of carbs.  Technically, you rack up 6.4g of fat as well when you drink a gallon of them, and I’m sure there are some trace fats in the skim milk as well, but still…looking at how things shake out, a gallon of egg whites MAY not be the craziest thing you ever drink.

 

Hell, let’s just keep getting wild here and compare whole eggs to whole milk.  A gallon of whole milk clocks in at 2384 calories, with 128g of fat (80 of it saturated) AND protein, and 192g of carbs, all of which being sugar.  If talking Fairlife, we’re looking at 2400 calories, with 128g of fat (80 of it saturated), 208g of protein and 96g of carbs, all of which being sugar.  To do this with whole eggs, we’re going to call an egg 50g, understanding a cup is 243g (should it be fluid ounces/milileters?  It’s getting a little confusing at this point), that means 3,888g per gallon, which equates to 77.75 eggs.  We’ll round that up to 78, and realize that Gaston was a chump with his 5 dozen each morning.  There are a LOT of opinions on how big an egg is, but according to SOME stats that claim a large egg is 50g, drinking a gallon of whole eggs a day will get you 6,084 calories (it’s actually 78 squared to get there: how fantastic), with 390g of fat (125 of them saturated), 468g of protein, and about 47g of carbs, all of which considered sugar.

We all have our limits

 

Holy crap: drinking a gallon of eggs is some Bruce Randall stuff right there!  And, of course, price factors into this as well.  According to a quick google search, I can buy 60 large eggs from Walmart for $7.47, so to get to 78 I’m gonna be paying $9.70.  A gallon of milk will cost me around $3.50, and a gallon of Fairlife is going to run $11.05 (4.50 per 52 fluid ounces) For reference, I’m currently in the middle of the United States: your prices may vary.  …holy crap, the eggs are more economically viable than the Fairlife!

 

Man, this took a WEIRD aside, but I honestly had a blast writing it, so hopefully you had fun experiencing my insanity firsthand here.  And I never even got into the discussion on “just one movement” (log viper press, btw, if you’re keeping score, with keg one motion being a close second), or any of the other “just ones” that are out there, but go ahead and ask yourself these questions.  When you do so, you find out just how much “extra” stuff you have in your life.     

WISDOM OF FORREST GUMP

I know my readers are well aware of my age and upbringing in the 90s, but seriously, if you’ve never watched the movie Forrest Gump, stop reading now and go watch it: that’s your homework.  That and Fight Club.  You do that and you pretty much got to live the parts of the 90s that mattered, for those of you born too late to have that joy.  But for everyone else fully aware of the movie, you now it’s full of tons of quotes that I could easily steal to turn into a blogpost.  I could discuss the duality between Forrest’s mom’s quote of “Life is like a box of chocolates” as contrasted against Lt Dan speaking about destiny, or I could go into “Stupid is as stupid does” and how that relates to the man stupid things I’ve done in my training, but probably a lesser appreciated quote is a one off that Forrest says one day when checking his mail.  He relates to the listener that “Lieutenant Dan got me invested in some kind of fruit company (for my readers, this was Apple Computers). So then I got a call from him, saying we don't have to worry about money no more. And I said, that's good! One less thing.” 

Even with my most recent carnivore bent, I can appreciate the value of an apple

 

I love that quote.  I love the genuine innocence of Forrest there combined with a level of deep, profound wisdom.  The juxtaposition is absolutely delightful.  It speaks to another pithy quote: “Money is like oxygen: it’s no big deal, as long as you have it”.  Here, Forrest has classified money in the realm of “things”: it’s simple one of many things that one has to be worried about.  Now that the money “thing” has been sorted, it’s one less thing to worry about.  He can clear that thing from his mind and go on to focus on other things now.  That “penguin is off the iceberg”, to go with another analogy you may be familiar with.  And for most other folks, money is a HUGE “thing”.  It’s THE thing.  But to Forrest, it was simply A thing, and now that thing no longer needs to be worried about.

 

Consider that in the realm of physical transformation: how many “things” are you thinking of as “THE” thing, when really, they are simply “A” thing?  How many things could you actually relegate to the realm of “one less thing”?  That you could simply STOP worrying about those things, so you could focus on OTHER things?

Like settling this debate for instance

 

Pre-workout supplements?  I’ve literally never used one in 24 years of lifting weights, nor do I ever intend to.  When they first came out, I assumed they were going to be one of many gimmicks that were going to blow over, much like glutamine supplementation, D-aspartic acid, engineered creatine delivery mechanisms, etc.  I could not fathom how much they were imbed themselves into the culture of training to the point that some folks won’t even TRAIN if they don’t have a pre-workout supplement to take…and for me, they’re just “one less thing” to worry about.  Think of the sheer financial benefit (Hah!  Still worrying about money) I get from NOT needing to buy that stuff, along with not needing to worry about timing my workouts around it (helpful when you train first thing in the morning at 0400), not having that experience where I take the pre-workout and show up and the gym is closed, or I hit traffic, or any of the other variables that could be at play.  Think about how I don’t have to worry about developing a tolerance, having to up the dose or find a new product.  This is just “one less thing”.

 

And hell, one of the reasons I’ve never worried about pre-workout was because I don’t drink ANYTHING during my training.  I’ve never cared to.  I don’t like the feeling of fluid sloshing around in my stomach when I’m doing physical activity, which is why I’ve run 2 half marathons and 3 10 mile races with NO fluid intake, alongside all the hellish Deep Water workouts, Super Squats, Murph and Kalsu WODs, my insane ridiculous conditioning workouts, etc.  And with this “one less thing”, I’ve never needed to worry about making some sort of super shake to sip on in the middle of my workouts, never needed to worry about nutrient timing, never needed to worry about being overcaffinated and needing to poop in the middle of a workout, never needed to wonder where to put my stupidly oversized shaker bottle while I’m training, etc etc.  Heck, I’ve, once again, saved money never needing to BUY all this stuff.  It’s all “one less thing”.

 

At least go with a brand you trust!

And this is why I’m so attracted to nutritional protocols that are all about ELIMINATING stuff.  If It Fits Your Macros (IIFYM) is SO much the opposite of anything I’d ever care to employ nutritionally because there are SO many “things” you need to worry about with that approach.  You need to calculate 3 different macros in order to achieve a caloric goal, which means needing to weigh, measure and evaluate EVERYTHING you put into your body at any given time: how exhausting!  What was my first “love” of nutrition?  Low/no carb.  Why? Because I just eliminated an ENTIRE macronutrient from the equation.  I now have “one less thing” to worry about.  And again, to SO many people, carbs are “THE” thing…but are they really?  We have SO much evidence, anecdotal and otherwise, of how UNessential carbohydrates are, both for simply living AND for getting bigger and stronger, that the vast majority of those trainees interested in physical transformation could easily get rid of them and achieve all of their goals.  And from here, my nutritional journey has been one of constant elimination, which landed me in the realm of carnivore, because plants became “one less thing” for me to eat, and upon doing THAT I saw some AMAZING transformations.  But even before that, I had so many other “one less thing” nutritional interventions.  A gallon of milk a day for Super Squats?  One less thing to worry about: just get in that gallon.  A dozen eggs and 1.5lbs of meat for “Building the Monolith”?   One less thing: get in the eggs and meat.  The Velocity Diet?  Oh my goodness I LOVED that diet: you don’t count calories or macros, you don’t COOK, you don’t think about anything: just drink shakes dummy.

 

All you out there in internet land who are too cool for school and HAVE to have your own personally developed training program OR extensively modify an existing one: think about all the “things” you’ve just added to yourself to worry about.  Why do I like running premade programs built by people that know what they are doing?  Because it’s “one less thing” I need to worry about.  Who cares if some study out there says that you need to do exactly 12 sets of curls to get big arms: Jim Wendler says that Building the Monolith will make me bigger, so that’s what I’m going to do.  Once I start adding stuff to these programs, I’ve added more “things” to worry about.  When I just sit back, do the program as written, and get the benefits, I’ve got time to worry about OTHER things instead.

Like trying to remember how to feel joy again

 

It’s why “Chaos is the plan”.  When I don’t have to worry about “the plan”, I’ve got time to worry about other things instead.  When I embrace chaos and say “yes: that’s exactly what I planned on happening”, I never need to worry about things NOT going according to plan.  I give myself that freedom to have “one less thing”.

 

Make it a thing TO worry about all the things you don’t NEED to worry about.  Give yourself an honest self-evaluation and see what REALLY matters and what is simply A thing that could very well be “one less thing”.       

ACT, DON’T THINK (IN EXTREMES)

I’ve frequently written about the extreme methods I’ve employed in my pursuit of physical transformation, to include extreme programs such as Super Squats, Mass Made Simple, Deep Water and 5/3/1 Building the Monolith, alongside extreme nutritional methods such as a gallon of milk a day, the dozen eggs and 1.5lbs of meat from Building the Monolith, the Velocity Diet and my nearly zero carb carnivore-esque approach that I’m currently employing.  I’ve also engaged in extreme bouts of conditioning training and taken extreme competitive measures, such as doing NO training whatsoever before going for 10 mile races, grappling competition and strongman competitions.  I live in extremes as, quite frankly, I find that simpler than a nuanced existence…but I don’t THINK in extremes.  No, quite the opposite: my THINKING is moderate and balanced, which is what AFFORDS me the ability to act in extremes…at least, compared to those of you I observe who think so much IN extremes that you can only act moderately…and achieve moderate outcomes.

I assure you this was NOT achieved with a gradual calorie reduction, macro counting, and 3 30 minute cardio sessions a week

Examples?  Of course.  The primary focus here is on the very subject OF physical transformation.  I recognize that, despite my extreme measures, I’m only going to achieve GRADUAL results in my pursuit.  Physical transformation is NOT the process of the caterpillar turning into a butterfly: spending a brief period in a cocoon before emerging radically and completely transformed.  No: physical transformation is a process of maturation: going from adolescent to adulthood with a long, awkward, sustained period of puberty.  That puberty is the phase where transformation occurs…and the phase that trainees are hoping they can bypass (much like we hoped we could bypass REAL puberty and avoid all that unpleasantness), but, no matter how hard we wish and think it: it’s an inevitable part of the process.  At least so much if we actually wish to achieve success.

 

I realize I gave no actual example in the above, despite saying “examples” as my leadoff, but my regular readers are already aware of the insanity inherent in my string of consciousness style of writing.  So let me get to that: the primary example of this is “the lean bulk”.  How is that “extreme”?  Wouldn’t that be considered moderate?  It’s about trying not to be extreme and “overbulk”, right?  NO!  It is a byproduct OF extreme thinking….primarily because it presupposes that there was originally ONLY the choice of “lean bulk” and “overbulk”.  Specifically, it presupposes this idea that a trainee can go from “not fat” to “fat” at a rate so incredibly fast that there is NO opportunity for intervention, and that the ONLY possible solution to prevent this non-problem is to engage in a “lean bulk” vs a “bulk”.

It would seriously take mutant genes to have this sort of different outcome

 

What IS a lean bulk?  A lean bulk is moderate action in response to extreme thinking: because the trainee is so terrified of accidentally “overbulking” and “getting fat”, they try to add as LITTLE fat as possible in the pursuit of gaining muscle which, in turn, results in adding as little MASS as possible, primarily because they try to keep their nutritional margins so thin out of fear of accidentally succeeding in the pursuit of getting bigger that they often undereat and do not provide their body the necessary fuel to recover and add tissue to their body.

 

What’s more, think of the OTHER extreme thinking that goes into the terrified lean-bulker: they think that there is NO way they could possibly lose whatever fat they can from bulking via a dedicated fat loss phase…something that all other folks that have achieved success in physical transformation have all managed to accomplish.  OR, perhaps their extreme thinking has lead them to believe a fat loss phase is going to somehow be SO insufferable that they need to avoid it at ALL costs by means of a lean bulk…which is, again, extremist thinking that leads to moderate action and, in turn, moderate results.  In either case, these trainees need to think moderately and ACT extremely…and not just here!

Seriously: you aren't doing this

Because, in turn, these trainees also TRAIN moderately as a result of their extreme thinking.  BECAUSE they have convinced themselves that fat loss phases are insufferable and unsuccessful AND that the risk of overbulking is so significant and rapid that they must engage in some means of intervention by way of a “lean bulk”, they engage in training protocols that are lukewarm at best.  They INTENTIONALLY pursue a “long, slow, gradual bulking phase”…as though it were some sort of badge of honor to plod along, barely achieving results, taking before and after photos where people have to ask “which one is which?”  Why?  Primarily because, in their refusal to actually EAT enough to fuel extreme efforts, they relegate themselves to lukewarm, moderate modalities…and achieve those very results.

 

The kind of training that promotes RADICAL transformation is going to require radical amounts of food to recover from radical amounts of effort.  Dan John calls these programs “bus bench” programs, suggesting they best be run twice a year, and during a time where one can wholly vest themselves into the program and recovery.  His classic example from his own programming is “Mass Made Simple”, and once you’ve tried to squat your bodyweight for 50 reps without racking the bar AFTER engaging in heavy barbell complexes, you’ll understand exactly WHY this meets that mark.  You’ll know the same feeling when you go on a vision quest between sets 6 and 7 of your 10x10 set of squats with 2 minutes rest on Deep Water and actually dream about selling all of your lifting equipment, giving up the sport entirely, and starting over.  Or when you spend 15 minutes staring at your feet in the shower after your first day of Building the Monolith wondering “what the f**k have I gotten myself into?” 

Yup

 

And in bringing up Dan John’s “Bus Bench” principle, I acknowledge in turn his “Park Bench” programs: those very moderate, slow, gradual programs that the extreme thinkers felt necessary to undertake for extreme results…how completely backwards.  I pursue these extreme measures knowing FULL WELL that the outcome will be moderate, that the “secret” is time and consistency, but that the timeline is punctuated with bouts of extreme FOLLOWED by moderate.  Simple, basic periodization: some phases of eating and training dedicated to one goal, some to another.  The extreme thinkers want to believe you just pick ONE way of eating and training and do it for the rest of your life: they refuse to acknowledge a moderate way of thinking wherein we achieve balance by having periods of feast and periods of famine (which, speaking of, is another fantastic dietary intervention to employ as a means of accomplishing physical transformation…which I’ve discussed previously).

 

We ACT extreme BECAUSE we think moderately.  This thinking frees us to be extreme in action, with the full expectation, awareness and understanding that this is what achieves us those consistent, moderate results that, over a long enough timeline, accumulate into greatness. 

BOOK REVIEW: DAN JOHN’S “THE ARMOR BUILDING FORMULA: BODYBUILDING FOR REAL PEOPLE”

**INTRO**

Get ready for another instant classic

Dan John has once again released another book, and I, once again, voraciously consumed it, because Dan John could write instructions on a tube of toothpaste and I would read every single word of it.  In turn, I’ll save you all the suspense of reading this full review just to say: yes, BUY Dan’s latest book, because irrespective of if you run the program(s) in it, the book itself is pure concentrated Dan John gold and absolutely worth any price tag.  And, since the book JUST came out and I JUST finished reading it, I want to be clear that I am not reviewing the PROGRAM(S) in the book, but just the book itself.

 

But I certainly see myself using what’s in the book someday.

 

**WHERE AND WHAT**

I constantly have this question

 

To start, you can get the book here

 

https://danjohnuniversity.com/bookstore

 

There are 3 books listed.  Do yourself a favor and buy all 3, BUT, if you want the one I’m talking about, it’s the one listed “The Armor Building Formula: Bodybuilding for Real People eBook”

 

And that, in turn, describes WHAT this book is: bodybuilding for real people.  In that sense, bodybuilding does not mean “bodybuilding”: the competitive event wherein you put on posing trunks, step out on stage and get evaluated on your physique, nor is this a book to achieve the goals OF that event.  This is a very classical sense of the word bodybuilding: to build one’s body, through the concentrated effort of resistance training, in order to specifically achieve an increase in the size of one’s muscles (and, ideally, muscles that are pleasing to the eyes of others).  And by “Real People”, he’s referring to those of us that live in the real world and have real world obligations (work, family, school, etc) and don’t get to live the influencer lifestyle of being able to train for hours a day everyday.

 

There’s a fair chance that YOU are a real person who is also more interested in Dan John’s bodybuilding than in “bodybuilding”, so you may find that the contents of the book appeal to you.

 

**WHAT YOU GET**

Nor should you with this book

Inside the book is THE Armor Building Formula, which is Dan John’s bodybuilding program that is entirely reliant on just kettlebells.  Before you stop reading because you don’t have/don’t like kettlebells, there is a section with barbells too, I’ll talk about that too.  But yes: you get Dan’s program in this book.

 

“Armor Building” is here because it references an idea Dan has regarding “armor building” in the athletic sense: putting on the muscle in the right spots that allow a collision athlete to be able to handle what is thrown at them.  BUT it ALSO references Dan John’s “Armor Building Complex” (ABC), which is a kettlebell complex that does a fantastic job of accomplishing this very goal of building armor.  The ABC is comprised of 2 double kettlebell cleans, 1 double kettlebell press, and 3 double kettlebell front squats.  It is a fantastic full body complex that hits just about everything, and can be used to absolutely blow out your lungs, finish out a kettlebell certification, get strong AND, in the case of this book, bodybuilding.

 

The OTHER half of the Armor Building Formula is the kettlebell clean and press, with Dan providing 4 specific pressing variations to satisfy to ADHD demands of any trainee.  Dan makes a compelling argument for WHY the KB Clean and Press reigns in the world of physique building, specifically referencing how a pair of big strong shoulders and well developed glutes tend to be the secret to a wonderful physique.  Given my own prescription in “Chaos is the Plan”, you know I’m a fan of this philosophy.

 

In the book, Dan details an 8 week program to follow for the Armor Building Formula.  In true Dan John style, there are no prescribed weights, reps or sets: merely guidelines BUT, with an end goal in weeks 7 and 8: 30 ABCs in 30 minutes, and 100 KB clean and presses.  Very similar to Mass Made Simple, you know the goal going in (squat your bodyweight for 50 reps) and you know the method: it’s on you to do the work.

 

**BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE**

Fun fact: he literally NEVER said that.  Go Mandella effect

 

Also contained in the book is “The Barbell Armor Building Formula”: a program that can be run with just a barbell.  Dan John’s Barbell ABC is premised around 2 movements: the “continuous clean and press” and the front squat.  For those of you that speak strongman, the continuous clean and press is “clean each rep and press”, as opposed to “clean and press away”, wherein you clean the weight once and then do all your presses.  With this, Dan gives you 3 programs to be run sequentially for a total of 11 weeks, followed by another 8 week barbell program that includes a few more movements (curl, press, row and deadlift) which, with some breaks, totals out to 20 weeks of training. 

 

On top of THIS, Dan ALSO gives you a prescription on how to perform the ABC if you only have one kettlebell, along with what to do if you only have mixed loads (no 2 KBs of the same weight). 

 

He ALSO includes methodology on including his “Easy Strength” program into these bodybuilding programs, which I personally appreciated because it meant I wasn’t absolutely off my rocker when I combined Easy Strength with Mass Made Simple.

 

Dan ALSO includes a few other programs in the book, one simply titled “A Bonus Program”, which requires a bit more equipment (most notably, a machine row), one of Reg Park’s programs, a sample of Frank Zane’s programming (more as an example of what the book ISN’T…but hey, it’s still there), and some helpful warm up instructions too.

 

**WHAT YOU ALSO GET**

 

This is a total turkducken of a book

Just tons and tons of nuggets of Dan John wisdom, all on the topic of bodybuilding for sure, but also very easy to expand into the realm of for real training in general, and life as well.  Dan goes into topics on warming up, cooling down, the value of walking, nutrition, the science of muscular development, historical precedents, strength standards, etc.  It’s 198 pages, and they’re all pretty awesome.

 

**WHAT COULD BE DONE BETTER?**

If you're served a plate of newts, eat the biggest newt first

 

If you are the kind of guy that just wants someone to lay out a program for you: that’s not this book.  It takes a LOT of reading to even get to the program in the first place, and once you get there, it’s in a narrative style, rather than a prescriptive style.  I, personally, PREFER that manner of delivery, and, in turn, enjoyed the hell out of this book, but I know that some folks are going to get chapped about this.

 

I’ve heard Dan speaking about this book a bunch on his podcast, and he actually almost quoted whole sections of it in answering some questions (which is awesome, because it’s like you have a printed copy of his podcast), but despite all the time and effort reading, reviewing and editing, there’s still a few typos and sentences that start and end the same (something like “lifting weights is one of the greatest ways to achieve physical transformation is lifting weights”).  Given my blog (and most likely this very review) is full of these issues, I’m not one to judge, but those paying for a product might be put off by it.

 

Some of the sections in the book are just blatant reprints of articles previously written by Dan.  They’re still incredibly on topic and value added in the book, but if you’ve already read them before, it can feel like you got stiffed out of content.  But, of course, that’s a GOOD thing as well: the fact I was upset there wasn’t even MORE content there means I enjoyed the hell out of it.  I’ve read my fair share of books that I wished would just be over.

 

The only thing keeping this from being a for real “all in one” manual is a lack of actual instruction on how to perform the movements in the program.  Mass Made Simple contained that, which I felt was pretty awesome.  In addition, I WISH Dan had released this book in 2020, for his sake and the sake of the world, because he would have made a killing giving people full on programs they could run with just some kettlebells or a barbell, and we all would have gotten a lot more jacked if we had this resource.

 

**WHAT ABOUT MASS MADE SIMPLE?**

Yes, have some!

 

That’s the most immediate question: why would I read and follow THIS Dan John bodybuilding book and not his other one?  This is just plain different from MMS, and that’s not a bad thing.  MMS is another fantastic book also full of Dan John wisdom on the subject of building mass, but his audience there is less “real people” and more “real athletes”.  To run that program, you have to be ready to really do some suffering and put in the work in the gym and at the table.  You also have to be willing to set aside 6-7 weeks of your life to really dedicate yourself to the effort.  In turn, I honestly like the idea of new trainees taking on MMS, because it’s a very solid gut check, recalibrates expectations of the self, and Dan does a great job walking the trainee through the entire program, to include instruction on the movements themselves. 

 

The Armor Building Formula seems far more sustainable than MMS.  Dan recommends MMS be run, at most, 2x a year, whereas the ABF definitely has legs to go on for long stretches.  ABF is more akin to a baseline 5/3/1 program, while MMS is more like Super Squats, if I were to employ analogy.

 

**SHOULD YOU GET IT?**

 

Absolutely, 100%.  No matter your goals or your equipment, you are sure to get something out of this book. 

THE STRENGTH STAT IS BROKEN: GO BE A MUNCHKIN

The title of this post is an absolute word salad for those of my readers who aren’t versed in Dungeons and Dragons (shame on you!), so allow me to provide a brief explanation before diving into the subject at hand.  In DnD, there are 6 core statistics that make up your character: strength, dexterity, constitution (endurance/hardiness), wisdom, intelligence and charisma.  You can generally score between 3 and 18 points on these stats, by rolling 3 six sided die, 18 representing the absolute peak potential and 3 representing the lowest achievable rating while still being functional.  18 intelligence is Einstein, 3 intelligence is end of life Nietzsche (ouch).  What is a munchkin?  In DnD, they’re a “powerplayer”: someone that is focused on maximizing strengths and minimizing weaknesses in order to become overpowered while staying within the rules of the game.  They exploit loopholes and obscure rules and by-laws in order to be the most powerful character they can be.  In life, we, ourselves, can become munchkins, and we do so by maximizing our strength stat.  Why?  Because the strength stat is broken: it’s completely unfair compared to the other stats.

Honestly, I should have titled the post this...

 

Right away, I’ve gone full bro-mode here: “intelligence is important, by biceps are importanter”.  But, again, I’m going to use the very rules of DnD to explain this.  And, once again dear readers: I am most likely an elder-statesman to you, so realize my knowledge of DnD stopped at 3.5 edition, so if what I say upsets you 5th editioners: deal.  In my previous discussion of DnD, I brought up the classes you could be: your character’s profession, wherein I explained that barbarism is equivalent to magic.  Well, before we determine our class, we determine our RACE: what order of being we belong to.  Stolen almost directly from the Lord of the Rings, one can choose from Humans (how boring), Elves, Gnomes, Dwarves, Halflings (Hobbits), and then half-breeds: Half-Elves (half human, half elf) and Half-Orcs (Half human, half orc).  Why do I bring that up?  Because, aside from Humans being a baseline race, each race is granted distinct advantages and disadvantages, with the goal being that these all balance out and that there is no one superior race to choose (as that tends to become a VERY sensitive topic).  We’ll lets analyze this, shall we?

 

I’m not going to recite the entire player’s manual to you, but here’s a quick overview: there is only one race that does NOT get some sort of bonus to their resistance to certain magics, a specialized ability to fight certain other races, or a natural affinity to cast spells.  This race’s only advantages are an ability to see well in low light (which pretty much every other race has as well) and a bonus to strength: the Half-Orc.  Yup: my favorite race.  And I get to explain why here.  Once again: remember that these races are supposed to be balanced for equal play: otherwise, everyone would pick the “best” race and there’d be no reason to play the others.  So what does that mean?  That means a bonus to strength is EQUAL to a bonus to any other stat PLUS magic resistance, natural casting ability, bonuses to fighting certain races, etc.  A bonus to strength is equal to ANY other bonus PLUS another bonus.  THAT is how valuable strength is in Dungeons and Dragons: a FANTASY game, wherein you can gain the ability to cast magic spells, summon demons, heal injuries with the touch of your hand, command animals telepathically, transform into a werewolf, KILL PEOPLE WITH MUSIC, etc: simply being really strong is equal to that.  Think how mind boggling that is.

That's literally what he is...and he's a Super Hero

 

Once again: we can use this to our advantage.  If strength is THAT valuable in a fantasy game, just imagine how valuable that is in real life where we DON’T have access to all that other fantasy stuff?  When we are but mundane: forced to live a mundane and simple existence, where technology is our only “magic”, we can separate ourselves and create our own magical racial advantages simply by becoming stronger.  And yes: it’s such a direct and hamfisted metaphor for overcoming genetics that it’s absolutely ridiculous, but, in turn, I love it.  The genetic advantage of the half-orc is being stronger than all the other races.  In turn, you can overcome the genetic advantages of all others: those that are naturally more athletically inclined, leaner, smarter, faster, etc etc, simply by outclassing them in strength.  And what does it take to become stronger?  Effort, BARBARISM: that same variable we outlined earlier as being equal to magic.  Yup, we’ve come full circle here: the Half-Orc Barbarian, once again, is THE superior choice. 

It SHOULD be obvious here

 

Are those other stats cool?  Oh sure, they’re plenty nifty, and you can definitely build a fun character to play with them…but if we want to identify what the true “best” stat is, it’s clearly strength.  In order to match strength, you have to match it with a stat PLUS a bonus, and good luck getting those bonuses here in the real world.  But strength, amazingly enough, is pretty cheap to acquire: it just takes effort, consistency and time.  And NONE of those are stats.  Sure, some constitution can help in the acquisition of strength, but let’s remember to keep our eye on the prize here.  I’m talking specifically to you folks out there thinking that you can maximize your strength stat by maximizing your intelligence score first.  Sorry dude: you’re not going to THINK your way stronger.  It doesn’t matter how many books you read (steal), podcasts you listen to, TikToks you consume, forums you terrorize, etc etc: strength is a stat that is raised through grinding.  And really, if I were to claim one of the other stats to help with strength, it’d be WISDOM: not intelligence.  Intelligence is knowing that a tomato is a fruit: wisdom is knowing not to make a fruit salad with a tomato.  So many dudes out there trying to out-think this strength acquisition pursuit fail to apply any sort of degree of common sense or to learn from their own experience or the experience of others.  Not everything has been proven by study (and, in fact, NOTHING is proven by study: it is merely observed), and oftentimes the most valuable lessons out there are decades ahead of the science, and if we wait for it to catch up, our moment will have passed.

Hey team full ROM: get bent

 

Go become a munchkin on your own: go maximize your strength stat.  Give yourself SUCH an unfair advantage in life that all the other players will assume you are cheating.  With strength, you will have longevity, as SO many of our elderly folks end up in such a bad way simply because they lack the strength to accomplish daily functions.  With strength, you will have vitality, as lean body tissue has SO many positive correlations with improved metabolic health, insulin sensitivity, about to effective partition nutrients, etc.  With strength, you will have freedom, for lack of fitness limits SO many people from having the wonderful experiences of visiting new places and taking in new experiences.  With strength, you can be an inspiration to others, for how many of you, dear readers, took up the pursuit of physical transformation because you observed strength displayed by someone else?

 

The strength stat is broken: go take advantage of that.