WHAT ARE THE ODDS?

  

A big pet peeve of mine (which my regular readers will understand that, ultimately, everything I write about is a pet peeve, and with so many pets it’s more like a zoo of peeves…but already I’ve digressed from my own point) is when I see a trainee phrase the following style of question: “I just watched a bunch of videos of guys dropping benches on their chests/rupturing their biceps/tearing hamstrings/passing out while deadlifting/etc etc…HOW DO I PREVENT THIS?!”  This, of course, annoys me on many levels, to the point that the only course of actions I find to be acceptable is to simply not engage, as to otherwise speak to them would result in non-productive dialogue.  One of the biggest issues I have with this is I wonder how these humans manage to simply function on a day-to-day level when they live in such abject and consistent fear of their environment.  You see something dangerous, and now you wonder how you can avoid it…but we see dangerous stuff happen ALL the time.  Have you ever seen a car accident before?  How come you haven’t sworn off driving?  You ever watch the news and see someone get hit by a car?  Why haven’t you sworn off walking?  Listeria outbreak: you aren’t swearing off fruits and veggies (HAH!  Jokes on me: you don’t eat them anyway).  Why is it that you’re only worried about these specific and rare instances of failure?

...ok, but seriously, what are the odds of Randy Johnson obliterating TWO pigeons?

 

But let’s dive even further into this.  You just want to be as safe as possible…but do you REALLY?  Do you have an anti-slip mat in your shower?  Slip and falls in the shower kill scores of people: way more than errant bench presses.  Do you ever go over the speed limit?  Ever talk on the phone, text, or listen to the radio while driving?  Or ever drive when you’re sleepy?  Or not come to a full and complete stop at a stop sign?  Do you realize how many people die from car accidents for failure to follow very basic driving rules and laws?  Ever not chew your food adequately?  People die from choking on food so much it’s downright ridiculous.  And oh my god, if you’re drinking alcohol or taking recreational drugs and wanna talk to me about the safety of using mixed grip on deadlifts I’m gonna have a hearty chuckle here.  I think you have a severely compromised concept of “risk assessment”.  You’ve taken something that has an incredibly low probability of occurring and devoted a high level of energy in preventing it while, in turn, dedicating a very low amount of energy into preventing the maladies that have a HIGH percentage of occurring.

 

But no, let’s go EVEN further.  Why is it that, when you see a video of someone tearing a bicep on a deadlift you go “THAT COULD HAPPEN TO ME!  I need to know what to do to prevent it!”, but if I go and show you a video or share a story with you about a trainee that worked hard and ate well for years and turned into an absolute monster you go “PSH!  Genetics, good luck, unfair advantages: that could NEVER happen to me?”  Why is it that you’re so assured that you are guaranteed the unfortunate aspects of training but have no possibility of achieving the POSITIVE aspects?  I mean…SOMEONE has to receive one or the other…right?

Don't let yourself get beaten by a space lobster

 

Catastrophic failure AND excessive victory are simply opposite sides of the same bell curve of training: most trainees are going to fall in the middle, while some will fall on one side and some on the other.  The odds are, in fact, low that you’ll achieve the extreme ends, but for f**k’s sake: why assume you’ll come out on the bad side if you’re going to assume you’re an outlier?  At LEAST assume that you’re average and that you’ll probably never have to worry about excessive failures or victories, but if you’re going to assume you’re special, assume it in a POSITIVE way, because the power of positive thinking IS real, and it’s the element you’ll find common in those that DO achieve that excessive victory in the end.  Sure, not everyone gets to be elite, but in the same token, not everyone gets to be a massive failure as well, so why not leave the latter to those who want it.  You, instead, choose to want to be on the extreme side of victory.

 

Because guess what the end result of dedicating all of your energy to “not failing” is?  It’s certainly not victory: its mediocrity.  If all you do in dodgeball is dodge, you’re eventually going to get tagged out: at one point you need to actually throw a ball.  So why dedicate your energy toward preventing an incredibly rare instance of catastrophic failure when you could, instead, dedicate that SAME amount of energy toward achieving a ridiculous degree of victory?  The payoff for the latter is SO much greater than the payoff for the former, and it’s the same energy invested.  The time you spend researching prevention is the same amount of time you could spend researching action, the energy you invest in “safe training” is energy you can invest in ridiculous over the top excessive training that gets excessive results.  And if you’re in that middle of the bell curve, neither will matter, but hell, at least you were TRYING to succeed this whole time vs simply not fail.  Because hey, not everyone gets to win the lottery, but the people who DON’T play will NEVER win it, while those that do play at LEAST have a chance.

God I miss the 90s...

 

Strive to be the guy that, when people see you, they don’t ask “how can I keep that from happening”, but, instead “how do I make THAT happen”