WHY HULK IS AFRAID OF THE JUGGERNAUT

My nerddom previously compelled me to write about the Fighter vs the Barbarian in Dungeons and Dragons, so now let’s move on to the classic battle of The Hulk vs The Juggernaut.  It may shock some of my readers to discover that I was never a fan of The Hulk.  Sure, if I HAD to pick one Avenger, I’d go with him, but that’s more a testament to how much I don’t care for any of the others.  The Hulk was always so boring to me, and I imagine it’s because Marvel decided to make him overpowered to the point that he wasn’t interesting, in much the same way you can’t bring me to care about Superman (or any DC hero for that matter), despite the clear Nietzsche-ian Ubermensch undertones.  No, my heart goes out to The Juggernaut, and today I intend to express to you how, despite what other comic nerds would have you believe, The Hulk lives in fear of The Juggernaut.

If you didn't get chills, check your pulse

I promise this will tie back to training somehow, but stay with me for now.  If you have a social life, allow me to give you a very basic rundown of these two comic book characters.  The Hulk is, effectively, a good guy.  Mild mannered genius scientist Bruce Banner one day got exposed to a dangerous amount of gamma radiation and, rather than contract some terrible cancer, developed the ability to transform into a big green monster whenever he got angry.  As the Hulk, the angrier he gets, the stronger he gets, effectively meaning that the Hulk can have UNLIMITED strength so long as he continues to get angrier and angrier.  Yup.  Unlimited strength.  Yawn.  The Juggernaut is a bad guy.  Petty bully Cain Marko (step-brother of Professor X), while drafted to the infantry in Vietnam, discovered an ancient temple to the evil “god” Cyttorak.  In that temple was a crimson gem and an incantation that, once recited, would turn the individual into the physical avatar of the god, with it making them an unstoppable human Juggernaut.  Unstoppable juggernaut eh? I’m listening. 

So the debate always comes up: who is stronger?  And the answer is always a disappointing “The Hulk”, because his strength is “unlimited”, whereas the Juggernauts’ actual “strength”, as measured by ability to lift and move things, DOES have some sort of measurable limit.  Sure, it may be absurdly high, but it exists, and against an unlimited strength measuring stick, you can’t compare.  HOWEVER, when push comes to literal shove, as in, if you tell the Hulk “Cool: go use your unlimited strength to stop the Juggernaut”…he can’t do it.  And no, I’m not making that up: it’s happened multiple times in the comics.  Try as he might, not even The Hulk, with his unlimited strength, can stop the Juggernaut.

Observe the pushback here

And again

And this is why the Hulk ALWAYS resorts to throwing the Juggernaut off course, using his unstoppableness against him, removing him from the battle.  Smart thinking, genius scientist Hulk…but why does he do this?  Because the Hulk is absolutely TERRIFIED of the Juggernaut.  The Hulk, under no circumstances, EVER wants to actually have to battle the Juggernaut for real.  Why?  Because it doesn’t matter how strong you are, it doesn’t matter how hard you can push, it doesn’t matter how powerful you can punch: if your opponent is unstoppable, he is going to beat you.  He might have to run you to death, like a wild animal.  He might have to wait and starve you out, like a war of attrition.  He might have to stand in the boiling lava just long enough to watch you melt, but no matter what, in the end, they’re going to win, and your only HOPE of safety is to make the threat just go away.

You'd think someone who claims to be "strongest there is" would be more than eager to beat up on the measly old Juggernaut...

And, in turn, this is why, despite my obsession with strength, despite the fact that this blog is “rants, raves and ideas about getting bigger and stronger”, despite the many times I’ve opined on the nature of “strength” and “getting strong”, if given the choice between being The Hulk and being The Juggernaut, I pick the Juggernaut 100% of the time.  Because the Juggernaut isn’t afraid of the Hulk.  The fact that the Hulk has thrown the Juggernaut aside so many times is proof of that: the Juggernaut is ALWAYS attacking the Hulk.  Because the unstoppable does not fear the strong, but the strong DEFINITELY fear the unstoppable.

Yeah, this was the Colossus Juggernaut, the point still remains

So many trainees focus all of their energy on being the strongest, and though that’s pretty cool (because no one would care of Antman had Juggernaut’s powers), it can’t be the only thing you have going for you, because eventually you’re going to go up against something or someone that just plain doesn’t care about your strength: THEY are unstoppable.  And your whole world will quickly fall apart when you realize the sheer difference in meaning of having unlimited strength vs being unstoppable.  Instead, YOU need to endeavor to be unstoppable.  Don’t be the Hulk: BE the Juggernaut.

Find the time and ways in your training to build your unstoppableness: not just your strength.  Hell, this could very well mean doing things that actively DON’T build your strength so that you can become unstoppable.  I’ve espoused all of this stuff before: learn how to train under fatigue, poorly fed, with low sleep, physical exhaustion, inadequate rest periods, too many days in a row, etc etc.  When you have a bad session, solider ALL the way through it.  When things hurt, train around and through them.  Lay down on the floor between sets 7 and 8 of your 10 sets of squat and get back UP when the timer goes off so you can hammer out another set and fall down again.  Stagger step through giant sets, collapse on the equipment, do your set and stagger to the next rack.  Learn how much more is IN you when your body wants to quit.  The Hulk is strong when he’s angry, but once that anger goes away he’s a wimp: The Juggernaut can’t NOT be unstoppable.  At his worst, in his most defeated, beat up, broken state, he CONTINUES to be unstoppable, because that is what he is.

  

Now go put the Hulk in a headlock.