“TO VALHALLA”: LET YOUR TRAINING TELL A STORY

Folks, I’m having the most fun with my training I’ve had in a LONG time and I needed to share the methodology, primarily because so many folks that follow me on youtube have been asking “why” and it’s honestly because…because!  

Plus, you should always support local charities! 

I’m fully aware that, as of recently, I appear to have gone completely off the rails, and I may have even lost some readership because all I can talk about is how I’m reinventing myself and how I’ve discovered carnivore and completely overhauled my life and etc etc.  From the outside, I’m sure it’s annoying, but on the inside it truly is like the phoenix rising from the ashes, as I feel the best I have in a LONG time, and I have just so much joy and exuberance about it that I want to share it as much as I can.  I shouldn’t horde this feeling: I want EVERYONE to experience it.

And so I have even more nutrition stuff to write about, and the second part of my Jamie Lewis experience (which is a major contributor to this for sure), but today, allow me discuss how my decision to take a slight detour in my training has got me in a way where my training is absolutely delightful: letting my training tell a story.  

**SOME BACKGROUND**

I was running Jamie Lewis' "Feast, Famine and Ferocity" protocol, which I’ve already done some writing about, but to re-iterate: it's premised around the idea that, historically, man has existed in alternating periods of famine and feasting, and it's only recently we've achieved a sustained period of abundance.

Alongside that, he speaks to how war-like societies would, in turn, have campaign seasons and at-home periods.  Basically, they experienced famine when they were out waging war, conquering and pillaging, and then, upon successful return home, the feast would begin.  He absolutely referenced vikings in that regard: rowing away from home during the harsh winters to go pillage and raid, then returning home to feast and celebrate.

He builds the training AND the diets together to simulate this.  Famine is bare minimum calories (pure protein, to spare the muscle) and the training is just a short burst of strength work followed by lots of higher rep endurance work, whereas the feast is eating in abundance and heavy lifting.  I ran them both as written when I first ran them.  I was on my second run of it, and, in turn, I created a theme.

**THE START OF THE STORY**

Here's a helpful guide!

Going from the first feast into the second famine, I decided to make my training tell a story.  I went from the feast to "Famine: Ragnarok is here".  So the story goes; there we Vikings were, feasting in Valhalla, as was our reward for dying valiantly in battle...but now, Ragnarok has arrived and it's time for us to earn our keep.  What made "Ragnarok is here" different from the initial Famine training block was how I made the majority of the training into giant sets/circuits with minimal rest.  Every training day was an intense battle.  Whereas the first Famine was about surviving the famine, this was about giving every last ounce of us in battle.

And initially, I was going to go straight into the feast after Ragnarok: back to Valhalla we go.  BUT, through happenstance, my schedule pivoted and it was Memorial Day, I ran Murph and thought "We should continue to honor the fallen", and it turned into "To Valhalla": a transition phase BETWEEN the famine and the feast.  "Everyone wants to go to heaven, but no one wants to die".  Here: we die.  Initially, it was going to be a solid week of hero WODs with a Viking twist...but I really didn't feel right doing that to heroes.  So, instead it's been more just WODs in general with a Viking twist, and nutrition is straddling between famine and feast.

At the end of this post, I’ll post the actual workouts I’ve been doing, as something of an addendum (since there’s been interest in that), but allow me to discuss…

**WHY LET YOUR TRAINING TELL A STORY**

You might get a movie deal!

Folks, for the first time in possibly…ever, I am training and eating intuitively.  As a non-calorie counter, I’d always get upset when people would say to me “I wish I could just eat intuitively like you do, but I need to measure things”, because my eating was SO unintuitive.  I was constantly hungry and eating stuff I didn’t want AND not eating stuff I DID want.  I’ve since flipped the script and found total harmony in that regard and now, yes, I AM eating intuitively.  

But now the TRAINING is intuitive as well.  It was, again, simply a matter of schedules and circumstances that the day I was supposed to begin Feast was a holiday and I ended up running  Murph instead of Feast.  But I woke up the next morning…and I just plain did not want to do the workout I had scheduled.  And decided then to do something else.  I listened to myself and did what I felt compelled to do.  And I’m continuing to do exactly that.  “But how do I decide from there?”

Duels to the death are like coin flips with higher stakes

LET YOUR TRAINING TELL A STORY!  Feast, Famine and Ferocity was doing exactly that, and like other authors before me, I took some source material and used it as inspiration for my own story.  And now I’m having so much fun coming up with a story for each workout and then living out that very story.

Remember what gets us success: effort, consistency and time.  The difference in outcome I’ll get from training in the most optimal way possible vs training in this style I have is so inconsequential that the tradeoff is absolutely worth it.  Meanwhile, the story can provide a helpful vector for your training and get the creative juices flowing.  If nothing else, it gets you thinking, and that’s never a bad thing.  More people need to be mindful of their training.  And as far as “being that which does” goes: if you wanna BE a Viking, you gotta be willing to DO Viking things.

Folks, I’ll always be a Dungeons and Dragons nerd.  Being able to LARP my training and nutrition has just satisfied something so primordially deep inside of me that I’m just living my best life.  Imagine crushing a Viking workout and celebrating with a feast of beef ribs.  It doesn’t get better.

Find me a more anabolic lunch

There were no survivors

**THE STORY OF “TO VALHALLA”

This is a helpful guide

I am still building this airplane as I fly it.  Initially, this was just going to be one week of training before I got back on with Feast, but, in truth, I may honestly just train like this for the rest of my life.  Chaos is the plan!  And in that regard, I just let it fly. But here’s the story (and workouts) so far.

I’ll be honest with you here folks: the formatting is about to get all kinds of junked up, and I’m flat out running out of steam because simply WRITING this has been an epic.  You’ll need to google some of these names to find out the TRUE story here, but still: appreciate this for what it’s worth.

WEEK 1

Workout 1: Harald Hadrada's Campaign: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdEj6fJntcs

A modified Kalsu, wherein we united the 2 kingdoms of burpees and thrusters.  And everyone is dead at the end.

* 100 Viking Thrusters w/90lbs on the axle, EMOM do 5 burpees onto the handle w/a Viking handle deadlift

Workout 2: Viking Raid: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q3dVKpOjZDQ

Row to the shore, disembark, steal the mead/goodies, load it on the boat, row further to the next shore and repeat, wear your armor because we're a raiding party, not a war-party (no berserkers here)

• Viking row 20 reps w/25lb on the axle

• 3 keg carry and load w/100lb keg

• Add 5 reps to the row each round

• As many rounds as possible in 40 minutes

• Wear a 10lb vest

Workout 3: Carried Away by Valkyries: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zu9k_aqIcqo

Take "girl WODs" and make them Viking.  Based on time, there as potential for a Viking Fran, Grace, etc.

For my run of it, I settled on Linda and Cindy the first time.  Second time through my plan is Grace, Fran, and a few others.

“Valkyrie Linda” is as follows:

• 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1 of

• Viking deadlift: 270lb loaded onto axle

• Axle bench: 181lbs

• Keg clean: 155lbs

“Valkyrie Cindy”

• 5x40kg kb swing

• 10 push ups

• 15 squats

Workout 4: "Battle of Stamford Bridge": 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qEUfegvFFSI

How Harald's campaign ended, and, with it, the Viking era itself.

• 30 minute workout: Death by Viking Armor Building Complexes (ABCs are 2 cleans, 1 press and 3 front squats)

• 90lbs loaded on the axle

• “Death by” means start with 1 at minute 1, 2 at minute 2, etc until you get beat by the clock

• Between rounds: baseball bat strikes against mats (sledge to tire would be ideal, but gotta use what you got)

• Once you die: do a full round of strikes, then start over at 1 (I died a LOT)

Workout 5: Jötunn Siege Engine

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1KvAol3cA78

The jötunn are inhuman, so they don't perform humane burpees: they perform INhumane burpees.  That's why we do 5 extra goblet squats.  They carry their battering ram to the gate to crash it down.  Once they finish, our troops on the other get down to the cellars and retrieve the burning oil to pour upon the shock troops.

It's a siege.  You don't win: you just survive.

10 rounds:

• INhumane burpee (15 swings, 10 goblet squats and 5 push ups) w/24kg bell

• Carry 100lb keg between burpee

After that, 10 rounds of

• Keg one motion press into 5 push ups

Workout 6: Tearing off Grendal’s Arm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75rCGZ7U-Vs 

8+3+3 mat pulls w/415+chains off of a 4 mat high pull

10 rounds of

• 15 KB swings

• 5 goblet squats

• 15 push ups

WEEK 2 

It’s worth appreciating that, at this point, I decided to stack on an additional challenge: get in 15k KB swings in 26 days.  So, in turn, the KB features a LOT in this week’s programming.

Workout 1: “Erik, Baleog and Olaf Get Lost in the Woods of DanJöhneimr” 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SelROVocXv0

The title is a reference to an AMAZING video game

• 575 kettlebell swings w/24kg bell in as few rounds as possible, BUT…

• EMOM: First 25 minutes: 2x 1 burpee into 1 Viking thruster w/110lbs on axle

• EMOM: Remaining rounds: 1 burpee into 2 Viking thrusters (so effectively 1 fewer burpee per round)

Workout 2: “Viking Raid: Varangian Guard Ambushed At High Tide”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0EwERtpr_7A

Here’s the story behind the workout: we’re back to the Viking raid. We’re wearing our armor (10lb vest) because we are a raiding party. BUT, we planned poorly, and high tide rolled in. This is why the keg has to be carried to the boat locked out overhead: gotta keep it above the water. The tide has also made a quick escape impossible, and our victims have more fight in them than before. So this means we row to the shore, swing our weapon 30 times, take the bounty, load it on the boat, swing our weapon at the reinforcements, and row it back home. We get home and find that the province has come under invasion from marauders who sought to strike the homefront while we were away, so we fend them off, unload the bounty, get in some quick weapon training to stay sharp, and row out for the next raid. And, of course, since we are Varangian, there are many Rus among us, which is why our weapon is the mighty kettlebell. …oh my goodness, yes, that is SUCH a stretch

10 rounds of:

• 20 Viking rows w/25lbs on axle

• 30 KB swings w/24kg bell

• Keg carry (carry locked out overhead on way up, cross body carry on way down, alternate each round)

• 30 KB swings

• While wearing 10lb vest

Increase Viking rows reps by 5 every odd round

Workout 3 “Carried Away By Valkyries: Grace, Fran and Cindy”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R1bL5kOWWJ8

I proved unworthy of Grace and was forced to face Fran and Cindy as my penance.

“Valkyrie Grace”

• 30 floor to overheads w/Viking handle

“Valkyrie Fran”

• 21-15-9 Viking thruster and strict chins

“Valkyrie Cindy”

20 minutes AMRAP of

• 5 chins-10 push ups-15 squats-20 KB swings w/24kg bell

Workout 4 (Part 1): “Festival of Orm Stórolfsson: Feats of Endurance”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XaXDqcWCdA8

The festival runs through the day and ends with a feast! We start off the morning with a light breakfast and feats of endurance

“Why 38 rounds?” Because we’re still going to get 15k swings in 26 days, and 38 rounds of 15 got us to 570, with 5 more tacked on for 575, which puts us on pace. 8s for push ups and squats got us slightly over 300: our daily goal.

38 rounds of

• 15 KB swings w/24kg bell

8 squats

8 push-ups

While wearing our armor (10lb vest)

Workout 4 (Part 2): “Festival of Orm Stórolfsson: Feats of Strength and Tribute”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-Nn_eNkiys

“VIKING POWERLIFTING MEET & TRIBUTE TO ORM”

A Viking would not debase himself by lying down, so there is no benching here.

Double bodyweight on squats, bodyweight on log, 3/4 bodyweight on stone. 

2 reps per lift: one for me and one for Orm.

18 rounds, because 6 attempts per lift: once again, 1 meet for me, 1 meet for Orm.

When it’s over, we load up the bar much like the ships mast that did in our hero and we hold for as long as we can. That was 645lbs. Nothing significant about the number: it was the heaviest I could load onto the bar in the fastest time.

Workout 5: ”Blacksmith of Valhalla Outfits the Fallen”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dve_1L_qXcc

We are swinging this hammer and building armor for our heroes, every minute, on the minute. We have a job, and we do it with pride!

* 575 kb swings w/24kg bell, but EMOM do a Viking Armor Building Complex w/90lbs loaded on axle.

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The story isn’t over, but this is how far it’s gone for now.  Write your own!