DUNGEONS AND DIETS: NUTRITION FROM THE LENS OF DND (PART 2-CHARACTER CLASSES)

Welcome back friends!  Previously, we discussed the 3 macronutrients as they related to the 3 primary character archetypes in DnD: the warrior, the divine spellcaster and the arcane spellcaster.  Today, we'll dive into the specific character classes that make up those archetypes and what they represent.

CHARACTER CLASSES

Like a much more awesome Avengers

Time to get nerdy again: we’ve established effectively archetypes among the 3 macros: warriors, divine magic users and arcane magic users.  But true DnD fans know that these aren’t actual character classes you can play: they’re simply the first subcategory that leads through several branching paths of character development.  Among the warrior category we have Fighters, Barbarians, Paladins, Rangers and Monks, among the divine magic users one can find Clerics and Druids, and among the arcane spellcasters was have Wizards and Sorcerers (yes, there are more classes out there, I’m out of the loop with the most current editions).  Outside of that, we have our rogue classes of thieves and bards (to be discussed later).  All of these character classes offer their own unique build and approach to the game, and I will continue to extend the metaphor in that regards.

WARRIORS

Incomplete warriors are lacking in amino acids

The Fighter: The fighter stands out as the prototypical warrior class.  As the name implies: all they do is fight.  Fighters get zero magical skills or unique natural/supernatural abilities.  Instead, they are just VERY good at fighting.  They can wear all the armor and wield all the weapons.  As far as a protein source goes, a fighter would refer to a source that is effectively PURE protein.  Egg whites, chicken/turkey breasts, piedmontese grassfed sirloin, tuna, etc.

Paladins/Rangers: Paladins and Rangers are warrior types who aren’t quite as good at fighting as the fighter, but are still really damn good at it, and their compensation is that they’re allowed access to a limited library of divine magic (among some other skills, but that doesn’t matter for our discussion).  Paladins tend to get more cleric-like spells, while Rangers get more druid-like spells: clerics being holy priests and druids being nature-based divine magic users (think like a tribal healer).  As far as food sources go, with the attachment of divine magic to fighting ability, we’re looking at those protein sources that come with a fat source alongside them.  The majority of animal products are this way, as meat tends to have SOME fat associated with it, as do eggs and the majority of dairy products.  The exception is when we process these items to intentionally remove the fats, but that’s not a natural product in turn.

If we really wanted to get weird about this, we could say that Rangers, with their affinity toward nature, represent those natural protein/fat pairings whereas the Paladin, a product of the church (a man-made institution) represents processed protein/fat products, or we could say the ranger represents wild/pasture raised/grassfed, etc animal products while the Paladin represents feedlot/industrial animal products, but that’s getting pretty nutty.  

You don't want to see what happens when DnD gets weird...

The Monk: The monk is a warrior type that specializes in unarmed and unarmored combat: effectively a master martial artist.  In order to not be slaughtered in combat AND to be able to effectively punch a stone giant without breaking their hands, monks rely heavily on chi/ki: a mystical divine force that can be channeled to empower them.  In this regard, the monk is practically more divine than he is a warrior, and I’d group this into those “protein” categories that are so fatty they’re almost really fat with meat attached vs the other way around.  Bacon, pork belly, 70/30 ground beef, prime rib, etc.

The Barbarian: I struggle with this one, since the barbarian doesn’t really have divine magic, so they’d be “lean protein”.  Perhaps I’d go the same way I went with the ranger/paladin divide, and say the fighter represents industrially produced lean protein while the barbarian represents natural lean protein (wild small game, like rabbits, so notoriously lean that they created the term “rabbit starvation”).

Hence why effective barbarians eat meat off the bone!

Really though, the big takeaway is this: notice how NONE of these classes include a combination of ARCANE magic?  It’s all divine magic.  That’s because, once again: arcane magic is NOT essential for the success of the party.  Meanwhile, a class that is a combination of warrior and divine magic is VERY self-sustaining.  Nature recognizes this: we do NOT naturally find combinations of pure carbs and protein.  At least, not COMPLETE proteins.  Rice is a grain that has some protein in it, yes, but an incomplete amino acid profile: it needs to be combined with OTHER proteins before it can be complete, which is why beans and rice are so popular.  Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches function because the incomplete aminos in the peanuts combine with the incomplete proteins in the bread to form a complete protein.  Whereas a paladin or ranger can function very well independently, these “warrior/arcane hybrids” require an ADDITIONAL party member just to be complete.  

Once again: I love how this analogy just keeps perpetuating.

DIVINE MAGIC USERS

It's the letter, not the spirt, that counts

As I wrote previously, the divine magic users breakdown into clerics and druids.  I’ve already written about the value of clerics in particular (wear heavy armor, can still bash with some weapons) and gave a slight explanation of druids in the warrior section.  Instead of breaking down the unique qualities of those specific classes, let me discuss the two types of divine magic one can access: holy/natural vs unholy/unnatural.

Holy Magic: This effectively describes what I have been referring to as divine magic up until now: that which heals us and keeps us healthy.  In the world of fats, these tend to be naturally occurring fats.  Just from a logical standpoint, it stands to reason that the foods we can grow, hunt and eat are going to be the foods that are good for us.  I DO appreciate what Dr. Robert Kiltz has to say on the subject “Plants have oils, animals have fats: eat fats”, and am inclined to support fats vs oils in the sense of eating fat from the meat of animals, fats from whole eggs, fats from dairy (cream, butter, ghee, sour cream, yogurt, cheeses, etc), but I’ve experienced success with avocados and olives as well.  

This is just making me laugh too much

Unholy Magic: Undiscussed until now is the other side of divine magic: unholy/unnatural magic, or just plain “evil”.  There are members of clerical orders that are devoted toward inflicting harm rather than healing, and those that engage in dark necromancy or the spread of pestilence vs health.  In the realm of fats, these are going to be your man-made fats: “unnatural fats”.  Irrespective of where you stand on the nutritional spectrum, pretty much everyone, from vegan to carnivore and in between, agree that MAN MADE transfats are absolutely awful and should be avoided at all costs.  Not minimized: simply zero’d out.  But alongside that, consider so many man made seed oils that go through extensive processing in order to be rendered shelf-stable and purchasable, and consider alongside that the risk you put yourself in of those fats turning rancid ON said shelf compared to something you could obtain naturally.  Or think of the abomination that is margarine when you could consume butter instead.  And I’m going to upset a lot of folks with this one, but I’d consider nut butters/peanut butter/sunflower seed butter in this category as well.  A butter made out of nuts is so absurd from a “natural” standpoint: the amount of labor you’d have to go to in order to cultivate the amount of nuts necessary to make into a butter, and then the actual laboring processing of MAKING said nut butter would at least “EARN” you the privilege of eating it ONCE, but we can just buy the stuff at the store, take a spoon to the jar and eat the whole thing in one sitting.  There is a reason that stuff tastes so good: your body KNOWS it’s SUPPOSED to be a limited resource, and it wants as much of it as it can get WHEN it can get it so it can maximize its chance of survival.  But when we live in abundance, this is just one more unnatural thing out there that is killing us.  Things may be “natural” in that we can find them in nature, but let’s also consider the proportion and quantity that is natural as well.  A handful of nuts every few days?  Sure.  A jar of peanut butter every evening?  You have become QUITE the evil cleric.

ARCANE SPELLCASTERS

There are just SO many effective memes out there...

Herein the metaphor continues with two distinct arcane spellcasters: wizards and sorcerers.  For the briefest of overviews: a wizard is a spellcaster whose ability comes from years of studying ancient arcane texts and learning all the right incantations, motions, words, and physical components necessary to cast spells.  A sorcerer, on the other hand, is born with a gift of arcane magic within their blood: they simply must learn how to master this gift to maximize their own potential.

Sorcerers: Given the natural talent of this class, it is fitting that they represent those natural carbohydrates: ones not specifically produced by man.  We DO run into the issue that man is such a destructive and transformative force that much of what we encounter “naturally” these days still has the taint of man on it.  Fruit tends to be much sweeter (higher in sugar), less fibrous, larger in size, etc, now than it was thousands of years ago, as we’ve taken to selectively breeding those fruits we found desirable while letting the bitter and small fruits die out.  There are other such examples as well, but it’s one of the reasons that attempting the “Paleo diet” runs into issues: we cannot eat as paleo man did, for the foods we have do not reflect the foods he did.  All that said, WHEN we employ arcane spellcasters, we do ourselves a favor by selecting from what is as close to natural as possible.  Single ingredient foods that we can grow: simple as that.  Potatoes (sweet or otherwise), fruits (in season), honey, easy to harvest vegetables (ones that do not require extensive preparation to consume), etc.  

Wizards: These dusty book nerds represent “unnatural” carbohydrates: those that can only be obtained via processing.  The worst offender here being, as Dan John calls them “cardboard carbs”: those carbohydrates that are near infinitely shelf-stable and tend to come packed in cardboard boxes.  I’ve heard Mark Bell refer to a pantry as “a closet full of dead food”, and it put things in perspective.  We already know that breakfast cereal, chips/crisps, crackers, etc are garbage, but also consider the degree of processing that goes into making a bagel, bread, many oatmeals, flour itself (or pretty much anything made of grain), etc.  CAN wizards be implemented into an adventuring party?  Absolutely!  There have been many grand tales of wizards achieving incredible feats with a well formed party.  But as the wizard is the product of YEARS of extensive studying, learning and planning, the implementation of these carbohydrates into a diet needs to be VERY focused and nuanced, if it happens at all.  Whereas sorcerers are fairly simple to play, wizards NEED strategy.  For some, this may mean eating some breakfast cereal post workout because the quick absorbing carbs are helpful for restoring lost glycogen and triggering and INTENTIONAL insulin spike for the sake of further anabolism in the presence of protein (which there are many studies that confirm and deny the salience of this approach), or it may mean engaging in some manner of Skiploading/Carb Cycling ala Justin Harris, but take note of how those that are able to best strategize and implement these tools are well researched, well EXPERIENCED, and, in many cases, making use of exogenous insulin to maximize the effects of these carbs.  If you are playing a simple 1st level adventure against some goblins, quit trying to use a dragon slaying strategy and just go back to swinging the sword.

ROGUES

The only time you're excited to see one

Mentioned only in passing up until this point is the class of rogues, subdivided into thieves and bards.  The function of a thief is obvious within the name, but for those unfamiliar with bards: they are effectively the “jack of all trades/master of none” class, equipped with a little bit of arcane trickery, some thieving skills, some limited sword swinging, charisma, and some musical talent.  Where do they fit in our adventuring party?

Thieves: Thieves, of course, steal.  Some of the even less scrupulous ones will also kill.  Specifically, they’ll employ their talents of silence and guile and employ that to perform covert assassinations with daggers in the back (a quite literal “backstab” ability).  What are the thieves in your adventuring party?  Alcohol, plain and simple.  Alcohol may contain carbohydrates, but you do NOT want to employ this as a fuel source in any capacity.  Alongside that, alcohol is quite blatantly a poison, and has several negatives impacts to physical transformation.  It halts anabolism, promotes catabolism, harms the body, adds adipose tissues, etc etc.  Can a thief be a part of an adventuring party?  Absolutely: many have them.   But consider that, often, the presence of a thief in a party is going to bring more trouble than benefits, and a party that does not indulge in skullduggery tends to stay out of trouble with the local constable.

Bards: As the jack of all trades and master of none, the bard represents those nutritional choices that just aren’t really great at anything but are “passable”.  I’ve already spoken about incomplete protein sources found in plants, and this pretty much exemplifies the bard: you can live off of it, but you won’t thrive off of it.  Beans (contains all 3 macros, not great at any of them), milk (the ONLY “natural” substance that contains rich amounts of fat and carbs paired together, and specifically because it’s meant to make babies GROW, which can be rough on adults), most vegetable proteins , etc.  Typically, anytime you find a natural food that has all 3 macros in it, it’s not a great source of any of them, to say nothing of man-made foods.  In fact,  let’s go a little further here: up until now I’ve been discussing “good aligned” bards, but an evil bard is truly destructive, because they employ their charisma and charm as tempters, charlatans and conmen.  In the nutritional world, these are all those misleading marketing hacks that have us confounded, bamboozled and sick.  I was a total victim of this when it came to “keto treats”: all the frankenfoods out there that are labeled as “keto friendly” and contain so much wizardry and alchemy in them that you absolutely obliterate your digestive tract by giving it something so alien to process.  And how many protein treats are out there, singing you so many wondrous songs about their “perfect marcos”, all achieved with “net carb magic” based off an influx of corn fiber and other cheap, destructive fillers when you could have simply eaten some eggs.  You can take something pure and simple like a strained yogurt and add so much junk to it you remove any healthful benefit to it.  Be on the lookout for evil bards, and, in general, just stay away from this class unless you’re REALLY in a bind.  

I just wanted to get in another Bruce Campbell photo

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Another huge chunk of text for you, and we're still not done!  Stay tuned for the next section on potions and wands!

DUNGEONS AND DIETS: NUTRITION FROM THE LENS OF DND (PART 1-MACROS)

 I once again return to my nerd roots, dipping into the exciting realm of Dungeons and Dragons to be able to ham-fistedly deliver a metaphor on the subject of physical transformation.  This time we shall discuss nutrition under the lens of character class and adventuring party construction.  My apologies to those of you less versed in nerd culture: I shall do my best to attempt to explain, but only insomuch as it keeps my own interest at heart.

WELCOME TO THE DND WORLD

If this didn't pop into your head upon reading that title, we can't be friends

I’m currently flying without a net on this one and it may evolve as I write, but presently I want to discuss the 3 macronutrients: protein, fats and carbohydrates, and how they pair with character classes in the world of Dungeons and Dragons.  

In this instance, we’re going to say that your “diet”, a noun referred to the way that you eat (rather than the verb of “to diet”, typically meaning an attempt to lose weight via calorie restriction, and also rather than the other noun of “diet” referring to a short period of nutritional change in pursuit of a specific goal) represents your adventuring party in a game of Dungeons and Dragons.  A party is comprised of multiple characters, each with a specific role/function within the party.  Successful parties tend to be well balanced toward the pursuit of the goal (find the treasure, defeat the monster, rescue those in need, etc) and best able to maximize the strengths of the individuals while minimizing the negatives and weaknesses, and those that experience TPK (total party kill) tend to be those parties that just plain can’t get it together, function poorly as a unit, and are ultimately toxic.  

Right away, you already know some people out there that have AWESOME adventuring parties and some people where it seems like every day they’re one die roll away from having to roll for a whole new party…and in real life, most of us don’t get to make that roll.

Your party, in turn, is going to be comprised of all the things you eat, and those things contain some combination of the 3 macronutrients: proteins, fats and carbohydrates.  Let’s discuss those.

PROTEINS

Always pick Orc

Proteins are going to be the “warrior” or “fighting man” class of Dungeons and Dragons.  From here on out, I’m going to clarify that my background is in Advanced Dungeons and Dragons, DnD 3.0-3.5 and Pathfinder, so if I screw up the name of your favorite class or omit one: forgive me.  Or bite me.

Why is protein this class?  Well, for one: I’m writing the blog, and ya’ll know that it’s my favorite type of class in Dungeons and Dragons: particularly the barbarian (to be discussed momentarily).  And, in turn, along with being my favorite class, I get to say it’s the most important class in the game.  EVERY adventuring party NEEDS a warrior if they hope to survive.  Assuming you are starting the game at level 1, your warrior is going to carry the party through the majority of combat encounters.  Your other character classes are simply too junior to be effective at this stage, and though they can be helpful CONTRIBUTORS to the combat efforts, it is the warrior that is going to lead the charge, take the hits, dish out the damage, and keep the party safe.

For those of you in pursuit of physical transformation, your adventuring party should be focused around the warrior.  Effort should be made to ensure you get in an adequate amount of protein every day, assuming your goal is physical transformation, as protein is what muscle is built out of.  This means, when you’re BUILDING muscle, you’ll want protein so muscle can be built.  If you’re losing fat, you’ll want protein so muscle can be spared.  In fact, many posit that protein should be higher DURING fat loss phases compared to muscle gaining phases, as a larger intake of protein can help spare muscle when calories are restricted, whereas it doesn’t require quite so much protein present in order to BUILD muscle so much as there is an abundance of calories in general.  This is why sumo wrestlers consistently rank in as athletes with the MOST lean mass present, despite a diet that does not prioritize protein the same way that a professional bodybuilder does.

Holy cow, someone beat me to this

Going further along this analogy, if you were to decide to have a party of nothing but warrior class types, you could honestly get pretty far for a while.  This would be known as a “protein sparing modified fast”: a diet of literally nothing but protein.  However, warriors run into one problem: they are CONSTANTLY losing hit points, because they’re always getting hit…because that’s their job.  They occupy the front lines, deal the damage and TAKE the damage so that the “squishier” party members can hang out safely in the back ranks and work their (quite literal) magic.  A party of all warriors will eventually die, much like you will if you eat a diet of nothing but protein (commonly known as “rabbit starvation”) which is why a SUCCESSFUL adventuring party will eventually look toward employing those with some healing magic: the clerics…which, in this case, is our dietary fat.

FATS

Too much jello CAN be harmful to your health...

There is lots of magic in the world of Dungeons and Dragons, and in the case of dietary fats, I am going to lump them into the realm of “divine” magic (in contrast to “arcane” magic, to be discussed monetarily).  Why?  Once again, my blog, my bias: because fats are healers, compared to proteins, which are warriors.  Proteins get you jacked and strong, fats keep you alive and healthy.  And a good cleric in your team will do exactly that: keep your party alive and keep them all healthy.  Specifically, this is because there are essential fatty acids: fats that, if we don’t consume, we will die.  In addition to that, fats play a role in the production of many incredibly valuable hormones in the body, to include, of course, testosterone: critical for those of you interested in physical transformation.  Protein alone cannot be used to manufacture these hormones, nor can carbohydrates: it is purely the role of fat, and though protein will provide us the essential AMINO acids that keep us alive, those fatty acids are purely a function of…well..fats.

But where the analogy continues.  As I wrote about protein, you want a party centered around the warriors, because they are the ones that can deal and take the damage.  HOWEVER, in a pinch, a cleric CAN stand on the front lines, primarily because they are the only magic users that are allowed to wear heavy armor.  Wizards are restricted to pretty much no armor whatsoever, druids can only don leather armor, and most other spellcasters have to wear little to no armor to continue to sling spells, but a cleric is allowed to cast divine magic while wearing the same heavy armor that a warrior can wear.  If you’re ever absent a warrior, you can have a cleric at least stand on the front line for you.  In much the same way, fats can be the primary fuel source of your body.  Some even argue that this is a preferred state to be in.  But in either sense, in a state of ketosis, the body runs off of fat rather than glucose, similar to an adventuring party that front lines a cleric (my analogy is failing here, as the alternative would seem a party headed by a carbohydrate/wizard…but thankfully gluconeogenesis to the rescue!  A warrior fronted party still works!)

HAH! 4 fighters beating up 2 wizards: I love it!

And what’s fascinating to observe here is that an adventuring party of nothing but warriors and clerics is a VERY viable adventuring party.  The warriors stand on the front line and bash: the clerics hang out next to them and heal.  Similarly, a diet of nothing but protein and fat is a VERY viable diet.  Ketogenic, Ketovore, Carnivore, etc, these ways of eating have existed for a LONG time and have proven themselves indefinitely sustainable.  The warriors head up the front, the clerics keep us alive and healthy…so what does this tell us about the final macro?  

CARBOHYDRATES

You knew what you were getting into if you follow this blog

Here I let my inner-barbarian shine, because I ascribe carbohydrates to the “arcane magic” category, which means they are unnatural, powerful, and not to be trusted.  Yes, my bias gets to shine through blatantly here.  But allow me to clarify that I am not “anti-carb”: I still consume them, but in doing so I “use” carbs, whereas I “eat” protein and fats.  But allow me to continue.

In the world of DnD, we discussed divine magic, aka white magic: magic used for healing and protecting the party.  The alternative is arcane magic/black magic: magic used to inflict harm on the enemy, summon unholy and unnatural monsters to your aid, conjure up armies of zombies, wield the elements like weapons, etc etc.

In this regard, carbohydrates make up your arcane spellcasters: wizards, sorcerers, etc.  Because carbohydrates are magic…for good and for ill.  And in THAT regard, I’ll go on to say that arcane spellcasters can really help bolster the strength of your adventuring party…or they can be a total wasted slot that could have been better occupied by another warrior or a cleric.  Opportunity cost at its finest.  That’s because you have to know HOW to effectively use an arcane spellcaster in order to make the most out of them, and those that don’t know how to play them will invest in a terrible spell portfolio and create some sort of one-tricky pony glass cannon that the party CONSTANTLY has to rush to the rescue.  And in that regard: trying to head up a low level adventuring party with nothing but arcane spellcasters is a surefire recipe to experience Total Party Death against the first group of aggressive goblins you encounter.  Similarly, you can live on a diet of nothing but fats and proteins, and you will absolutely die on a diet of nothing but carbohydrates.

I honestly like how the analogy is shaking out right about now…

Once again, my bias here, but I’m saying arcane spellcasters are NOT essential for an adventuring party.  I have played many a game without one, and we got by just fine.  BUT, I also cannot refute that a GOOD arcane spellcaster is a massive force multiplier when employed effectively, but, also, a terribly built arcane spellcaster is a massive detriment to the party, expending resources as they are in constant need of rescue, healing and replenishing.  Arcane magic is “non-essential magic”, in the same way carbohydrates are non-essential macronutrients.  Whereas there ARE essential amino acids and fatty acids, there is no essential carbohydrate.  A carbohydrate is pure energy…similar to arcane magic really.  Again: I dig how this is shaking out.

So what does effective arcane spellcasting resemble?  Strategic employment.  If all you do is just spam every spell you have as soon as you have them, you’ll exhaust your supply rapidly and not have the spells you need when you need them.  And an arcane spellcaster without spells is, objectively, the worst character class in the game.  Even a warrior without a weapon is formidable in the battlefield because they are simply strong enough to deal damage and hardy enough to withstand it, and even a cleric without magic can STILL swing a mace decently and take some blows.  BUT, when the moment DOES come for a perfectly timed arcane spell and it sails into the battlespace, victory becomes that much easier.

and we haven't even discussed the thermogenic nature of food yet!

In that regard, we can discuss strategic employment of carbohydrates.  If we were originally a party of Warrior and Cleric, it means we were most likely in a ketogenic state.  When we introduce an arcane spellcaster, we transition out of ketosis and transition to burning sugar, which is a VERY powerful fuel source for the body.  Many argue that the ketogenic state is the “natural” state for humans, with consumption of steady states of carbohydrates being a more recent phenomenon.  In turn, our bodies tend to burn carbs quite quickly and preferentially when in the presence of them as a means of survival: it allows us to spare valuable muscle and fats for fuel.  This is why we have things like sugar buzzes/highs and crashes: the body will rapidly burn through its carbohydrate energy supply, giving up a big energy spike and a crash, not unlike the effects of a barbarian rage.  Carbs are also notorious for creating insulin spikes, which drive hunger signals quite strongly as well, which is why when we eat carbs we tend to crave MORE of them quite quickly, whereas fats and proteins tend to be far more satiating.

But in the discussion of strategic employment of arcane spellcasters, what we’re discussing is, in turn, a cyclical ketogenic diet (CKD).  As the name implies, we are cycling ketosis.  We introduce the carbs WHEN we need them, allow them to work their magic (heyo!), and then back off them again so we can reset back to a state of ketosis.  This allows us to maximize the benefits of a ketogenic state AND the benefits of carbohydrates, for as one observes, the body tends to become listless and dull when it remains “adapted” for too long: there is a necessary degree of hormesis in the pursuit of physical transformation.  Breaking the body out of ketosis with a strategic introduction of carbohydrates allows for the re-introduction of ketosis, and being IN a state of ketosis allows the effects of carbohydrates to be maximized compared to when one consumes them after prolonged periods of regular carbohydrate consumption.  Think of it similarly to what happens when someone who obtains from caffeine has an energy drink vs someone that drinks a pot of coffee a day.  The latter needs the caffeine just to feel normal: the former is going to fly to the moon.  And in that regard, I’ll say that, just like in DnD, some people are simply better at playing with arcane spellcasters than others, and for those folks they DO better with a party more heavily biased in that direction.  But some folks are in a party full of wizards that would be better off with a few more swords and fewer words.

Rest assured: this dude ate plenty of meat...but no hamsters

Here, once again, my personal bias shines through, but this has been my experience when it comes to use of carbohydrates. In reference to my previous nutrition post, the majority of my nutrition is meat and eggs, but once a week (at most) I have a meal that is richer in carbohydrates.  These days, it’s a meal with the family, and the focus is more on just coming together at the table and enjoying each other’s company, but it still tends to have a carb focus (think pastas, casseroles, breads, etc).  Since it’s a once a week meal, by the time I get to it I am as carb depleted as I could possibly be, as a full week of HARD training has occurred while carbs have been effectively non-existent.  Two days after this meal, I tend to really feel the effects, seeing my muscles filled up with glycogen and feeling energized/recharged.  I’ve heard this cyclical approach is also beneficial for maintaining a healthy hormone profile, improving sleep, keeping the metabolism humming and not allowing BMR to set too low, etc etc.  Is there any science to it?  Who cares: this is magic baby!

I like to think of the above as a “mercenary spellcaster” strategy.  Whereas the warriors and clerics may be part of the party out of some sense of honor, duty or loyalty, the arcane spellcaster is merely there to provide a necessary service and will depart once the contract is over.

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WHEW!  That's quite a bit of reading for you, and I hope you enjoyed it.  On part 2, we'll dive into actual character classes as it relates to food choices.

ARE YOU SERIOUS?!

Here’s some good old-fashioned ranting.  Despite writing this blog for over a decade, despite being online for 22 years (god how did I get so old), despite lifting weights for 24 years, despite wanting to be big and strong being one of my earliest cognizant thoughts, I STILL find myself baffled by some of the things I see trainee concern themselves with.  I apologize for writing such a ridiculously long sentence and ending it with a preposition: it appears all my time spent writing did not actually make me a better writer.  By grammatical self-callout aside: seriously…are you serious?!  Are you genuinely concerned about these things?  Do you really have such little self-awareness that you don’t see the patent absurdity in your concern?  To what do I refer?

This movie needs to happen

 

“Are deadlifts safe?”  You’re really, genuinely wondering that?  Think about WHERE you are coming from when you ask that question.  You’ve been plastered to a couch eating cheesepuffs for a few decades, decided that you’re going to “make a change”, pirated a copy of Starting Strength (and honestly, these days, I’d be proud of you for at least READING A BOOK on training, but most likely you just watched a Tik Tok), saw a photo of a deadlift and immediately freaked out and went online trying to find some way to save yourself from this demonlift.  There’s no WAY a deadlift could be safe, right?  It’s got “dead” in the name for goodness sake!  You’re not supposed to lift with your back: everyone knows that!

 

Wanna know what’s more dangerous than deadlifting?  Sitting on a couch eating cheesepuffs!  We are a society that is DYING from obesity and a sedentary lifestyle.  You were LANGUISHING while you “exercised” the luxury of bingewatching an entire television series a night for weeks on end.  That these are referred to as “marathon” sessions is true irony.  This was an OBJECTIVELY dangerous activity you engaged in, and you did it with such regularity and never ONCE asked “is this safe?”  But now, NOW that we are in pursuit of physical transformation, in pursuit of improvement, in pursuit of change, NOW is when you start to ask “is this safe?”  Deadlifting is OBJECTIVELY safer than NOT deadlifting, because when you NOT deadlift, what you do instead is glue yourself to the couch and accelerate your morbidity.

Yup: Jimmy and Timmy are playing it MUCH safer here

And, of course, I extend this to all the ridiculous questions about safety.  Failing a squat?  “But I saw someone die from that!”  How many people have you seen die from a sedentary lifestyle and poor eating habits?  Yet, again: no one is asking “is that safe?!”  No one bats an eye when someone comes into work on Monday and reports “I watched the entire ‘Game of Thrones’ series from Friday through Sunday”, or “I spent 18 hours playing Call of Duty” (you can tell by the age of my references that I’m completely unaware of what’s actually popular these days).  Hell, often these “feats” are celebrated!  But that same dude coming in and pulling up a video of them getting after it on some deadlifts will have all manner of tongue clucking saying “My back hurt just watching that!” “Be careful!” “Lower the weight and focus on form!” “THAT’S NOT SAFE!”  Is the good morning safe?  Bruce Lee broke his back doing that!  Are you serious?!  Any trainee who is concerned about accidentally replicating the feats of Bruce Lee after a lifetime of being sedentary is living a world of fabulous delusions of grandeur.

 

“Is it safe to eat 6 eggs a day?”  Are you serious?!  You ask THIS question NOW?  Did you ask if it was safe to eat brightly colored corn powder pellets that came out of a cardboard box with a cartoon character on it that has a shelflife that can be measured in halfyear intervals?  Did you ask if it was safe when you were drinking a carbonated and caffeinated beverage that came in colors that flat out do not exist on this Earth?  Did you ask it if was safe when you ate a Poptart, Zebracake, Twinkie, donut, cupcake, etc?  When you ate the “death by chocolate” cake?  It’s literally called “death by chocolate!”  But now, NOW you’re going to ask me if AN EGG is safe to eat?  If this food that has been around BEFORE humans have, this food that has nourished countless other species, this food that is one ingredient vs a chemistry thesis, this food that is vitamin and nutrient rich…you’re going to wonder if THIS is the food that’s going to kill you?  Are you serious?!  And again: this is just about eggs.  We see this question about eating “too much” red meat.  Hey, wanna guess how much Captain Crunch is “too much?”  It’s less than 1 serving.  Find me someone that has only ever eaten eggs and red meat and never touched a bowl of kid’s breakfast cereal and I assure you that you’ll find a MUCH healthier human than any random “normal” person walking around out there, living a “safe” existence.

I was legit looking for parody cereals but discovered this real one which SHOULD be a joke...

 

You’ve become so conditioned to accept REAL danger as “normal” that when you experience true safety you immediately point and scream “danger!” simply because it’s DIFFERENT.  And what a sad state of decline you experience in your existence wherein being physically active and eating a natural diet is what’s seen as “alien” while slumping onto a couch, having a streaming serving overload your senses with lights, colors, sounds and images while you mindlessly shovel processed non-food into your face is “safe”.  Prior to the moment you decided to pursue physical transformation, you NEVER concerned yourself with the safety of your decisions: why choose NOW to ONLY engage in 100% safe approaches to anything?  Whatever risk you put yourself in by deadlifting, squatting, doing loaded carries, swinging a kettlebell, doing cleans, eating eggs, steak, bacon, butter, fasting, etc etc, is STILL significantly improving your overall safety compared to assuming a sedentary lifestyle with the current standard approach to eating that everyone else is engaged in.  You will so positively improve your safety FROM taking these “risks” that your rate of all-cause morbidity will precipitously decline, simply because you made A change away from one of the most dangerous lifestyles there is: the average one. 

 

Are you serious?!  If you’re serious about BEING serious, then, seriously…take the risk. 

CHAOS IS THE PLAN WINS A GRAPPLING COMPETITION

INTRO

SPOILERS!

Those that have followed me for any length of time are aware that my first passion was martial arts, and that my efforts at lifting were initially vectored toward becoming a better fighter.  The first book on physical training I ever bought was “Fighting Power” by Christopher P. Loren, which by all accounts is pretty not great yet STILL holds a special place on my bookshelf simply because it was my first, and it was all about how to train to develop powerful punches and kicks.  I did Tae Kwon Do from age 8-17, wrestled for 3 seasons in high school, and did some boxing, Muay Thai and submission grappling training off and on during college, before I got married and decided that martial arts training simply took too much time and I’d rather be with my beautiful bridge.  This prompted a switch to prioritizing lifting at the age of 21, and since that time I hadn’t engaged in any manner of grappling training at all…

 

…which meant it was an absolutely bonkers idea to sign up for a submission grappling competition, but sure enough it showed up on my facebook feed and I thought “why the hell not?”  Truthfully, it’d helped that there was a novice division AND a masters division to compete in, because given I had spent more time NOT training than some of these kids had been alive, I figured that qualified me to be a novice again.  And since I had dropped so much weight since adopting a carnivore-like approach to nutrition, it was a great time to compete in a weight classed based sport.

 

I still had some Combat Sports fight shorts I bought on sale to wear while I was lifting (a tip I picked up from Brian Alsruhe), and after ordering the cheapest rash guard I could find on amazon, I was signed up and ready to compete!  And sorry for the spoilers, but I actually managed to win too.  Here is that story.

 

TRAINING AND NUTRITION

There was actually none of this to be found...but ALWAYS bet on Hercules! 

I did absolutely zero grappling training to prepare for this grappling tournament, because Chaos is the plan.  And, in turn, I’ve been running “Chaos is the Plan: The Plan” for the 6 weeks leading up to it.  180 minutes of taking something off the floor and putting it over my head a week, along with daily walks, air squats/push ups, and conditioning work where applicable.  This particular variant I’ve been running has had a focus on mass gain, so I’ve included 20 breathing squats 3x a week, which has paid off as I’m up 8lbs of bodyweight.  I was lifting weights in some manner at least 5x a week, with weekends sometimes including time on the weights and other times being purely bodyweight.

 

The other element of Chaos is the Plan: The Plan is “eat meat and/or eggs, when hungry, until not”, and I abided by that about 95% of the time.  I sometimes ate when not hungry, simply because my schedule worked out that way, and I sometimes ate stuff that wasn’t meat and/or eggs (cheese, sour cream, pork rinds, protein powder, or an occasional meal out with the family), but the vast majority of my nutrition was on point, SPECIFICALLY what I ate close to competition.  This was a significant departure for me.  In my past life, my pre-competition meal was always going out to eat and loading up on as many calories as possible, typically of pure junk.  Taco Bell, pizza buffets, all you can eat fried chicken, etc.  This time, I made it a point to make my own food so that I’d know exactly what was in it and how it was prepared, and that makes so much sense that I can’t believe how stupid I was to do something different.  The last thing you wanna deal with before a big athletic competition is a whole bunch of new and weird food in your gut: having control of what you eat goes a LONG way.  In this particular instance, the night before the competition I had a 14oz piedmontese ribeye, 3 sunny side up pasture raised Vital Farms eggs, and all the fat trimmed off my kid’s sirloin steak from our family farm in Iowa.  For breakfast before the comp, it was about 10oz of the sirloin from the previous night (it was HUGE, there was lots leftover), 4 sunny side up vital farms eggs and 2 strips of some sort of high end no sugar added bacon.  This was outstanding fuel, and left me satiated and satisfied without buzzing from simple carbs.

 

The future is in "steak and egg loading" for athletics

The sirloin I cut breakfast out of (on the bottom left)...just look at that thing!

Breakfast of champions...quite literally

WEIGH IN AND WARM UP

I definitely had "Lunatic Fringe" in my head...

I came into this competition at the very BOTTOM of the 171-185lb weight class.  When I signed up, I was directly on the line, weighing consistently between 168-172.  With my current training and nutrition protocol, I did not want to lose weight, nor did I want to cut weight for the weigh in, so I signed up for the higher weight class, and while eating my face off for 4 weeks managed to get my weight consistently between 173-174.8 (SO close to 175).  When I weighed in for the comp, I weighed 185…in full sweats, and fight shorts, and Cerberus strongman shorts…with my shoes on…and my wallet, phone and keys in my pocket…having eaten that breakfast I mentioned 30 minutes prior, and the dinner from the night before, all sitting comfortably in my belly.  And honestly: THAT is the way to make weight for a competition.  Cutting weight is for martyrs, and carb loading is for chumps.  Fueling up on meat and eggs had me feeling like a warrior.

 

Just like with all my other competitions in other sports: I did ZERO warm-up.  It’s worth appreciating that I train 5 days a week at 0430 with practically no warm-up: doing something physical at 1000 is like cheating to me.  I’m already warm and loose by then!  Plus, I didn’t want to get anything “in my head” prior to the first match.  Didn’t want to get a feel for the mat or have my body make any sort of contact.  I wanted the experience to be as raw and real as possible, as I honestly trusted my instincts more than I trusted any sort of strategy, and I didn’t want to have my instincts influenced.  Chaos was, in fact, the plan.

 

THE MATCHES

Match 1: Ultimately, I was just trying to figure out what the hell I was doing here in the first place, and IF I had in fact bitten off more than I could chew.  The dude I was against was fairly strong, and I wasn’t able to manhandle him like I would have liked.  Alongside that, I was cautious about over-exerting myself and gassing, since I came in with more a wrestling background than jiu-jitsu, with the former being 3 2 minute rounds where you just go all out the entire time rather than a single 8 minute round where pacing can play a role.  This resulted in me being overly cautious in retrospect and surrendering many opportunities where a little aggression and force probably could have gotten me a tap.  I could actually feel when my opponent’s stamina gave out around the 5-6 minute mark, and this prompted me to continue pushing the pace and start applying subs with random abandon, because I was confident that, if I lost position, I could get it back again by nature of him being gassed and be being fine.  He managed to fight me off until the end, wherein we went into sudden death and the goal was to escape as fast as possible.  I was, once again, out of my element here, and did little to keep him secured and was too lazy in my own attempt to escape.  I was initially awarded the win, but the decision was reversed upon review.

 

Match 2:  I had to go up against the same guy from the first match, because we only had 3 people in our bracket and it was a double elimination tournament.  I didn’t find out I had lost the first match UNTIL I was called up for this match, because I was pretty damn confused about what was going on.  At this point, I actually got angry: I basically had my win taken away from me.  I think that was ultimately to my advantage, because I was more aggressive as a result.  I knew if I lost, I was done competing.  I also knew that this dude wasn’t going to be as recovered as me, and I was familiar enough with his gameplan to know what I wanted to do.  He fatigued very early in the match and I was able to get sidemount without much difficulty.  This time, when I applied the Americana, I was more aggressive with it, and I imagine that prompted the tap: the sensation of being “in danger”.

 

Match 3:  Here I finally got to go up against the other competitor.  I watched him grapple the guy I grappled, and he managed to get a win via armbar, so I knew he had technical skills.  I also saw him being very active in the standing game, but not necessarily effective.  He threw out a lot of “noise”: lots of movement and hands going all over the place, but not necessarily accomplishing anything.  I imagine it was more to intimidate and distract, but once he and I locked up I could feel that he didn’t have the strength of the other guy and that I could manhandle him pretty easily, which removed any ability to intimidate.  I worked a lot of weird angles in the clinch and tried my best to make him feel uncomfortable, and sensed him trying to hip throw me a few times (unsuccessfully).  Once we got to the floor, he scrambled a bit, but his strength and stamina seemed to fade pretty quickly.  Similar to the last guy, I was able to eventually get side control, and from there applied an aggressive Americana to force a tap.

 

GENERAL TAKEAWAYS

Always remember that

 

* I got asked about any sort of adrenaline issues during the matches, and upon reflection, I never once felt it flare up.  I know I had a fight or flight response at some point, because when I went to eat my post-victory meal the fork was shaking pretty decent and my appetite was so turned up I am sure I could have put away another one of those 5lb cheeseburgers I had before, but during the matches themselves I found myself pretty clear headed, cognizant and loose.  I attributed this to a few factors.  Even though I haven’t grappled since 2005, I’ve been competing in SOME sort of physical competition for most of my life with just a few breaks, so I’m no longer a victim of general “competition jitters”.  I also did spend 3 seasons wrestling in high school, so this wasn’t absolutely totally alien to me.  But the biggest contributing factor is that I genuinely never felt threatened by either one of these individuals.  Thinking back on the matches, I can’t recall either one of them even attempting a sub on me: it was all just jockeying for position.  And as the matches went on, I could literally feel their strength and stamina fade, while mine remained unchecked.  In truth, I got to experience the “killer instinct” I had heard so much about: as they got weaker, it made me stronger.  I felt like a shark sniffing blood in the water: as soon as I felt them wanting to quit, I got MORE energy and wanted to push harder and harder to totally break them.  It’s funny, because one of the primary reasons I walked away from combat sports all those years ago was BECAUSE I lacked that killer instinct.  I was too nice.  Perhaps it’s the confidence that comes with being in better shape that helped with that.  However, there was SOME sort of fight or flight effect, because after the comp was over I got some amazing Mexican food to celebrate (still kept it carnivore: carne asada, huevos, shredded queso, beef cheek (cabeza) and birrira) and aside from the fact I could have eaten about 3 servings of it all, my fork was shaking a bunch.

 

* It dawns on me that I was essentially “persistence hunting” both opponents.  I couldn’t match them in skill, so I had to just wear them out until they got tired enough that I could slap on a sloppy submission.  Which I’m TOTALLY at peace with, but it’s just a comical observation.  Someone pointed out to me that me forcing the competitors to stand up so often was actually achieving this very goal, which is something I didn’t THINK about but must have instinctively understood.  Each time they stood up and locked up with me was more time for them to lose strength and stamina.

 

* I clearly had no idea what I was doing when it came to submissions.  I remember 4 from my training: the armbar, the Americana, the triangle choke, and the rear naked choke.  I only managed to attempt 2 of them the whole time (armbars and Americana), and only the Americana worked.  But my body still remembered how to wrestle, which made it so that I was pretty good at getting to positions where I COULD apply some subs if I knew how.  Instead, I ended up just using this time to make the other person uncomfortable and panicky.  Biggest thing was applying pressure to the neck with my elbow whenever possible: just take away their oxygen. I contemplated covering their mouth with my hand at some point, but decided it wasn’t a really cool thing to do.

But it's not unprecedented

 

* When it was all over, I had a bunch of scratches on my face and neck, bruising up and down my body, and my ears hurt from rolling all over them on the mat.  THIS is the “armor” that Dan John talks about building up through wrestling/tumbling.  I was also sore in a bunch of muscles I had forgotten about.  Similarly, Dan relayed a story about his brother who ran a marathon with no training.  When it was over, his feet were torn up and bleeding so bad that it took him 3 months to fully recover.  3 months is about the time you need to spend training for a marathon to build up all the small muscles and calluses in order to survive the race.  The takeaway there was that a marathon is going to take 3 months of your time; either before OR after.  It’s similar here.  You CAN go out and win grappling without training for it, but there will still be SOME sort of “training cost”.

 

* Not having a coach was kind of a blessing, because I could hear the OTHER coach’s instruction and knew what to expect the other guy to try based off of that.

 

* Carb loading is for chumps.  So is cutting weight.  I came in SO well nourished and ready to perform.  I also have to wonder if I’m a product of “being that which does”.  I’ve eaten like an apex predator, and got on the mat and felt no need to be pensive or reserved.  Yes, that’s entirely self-congratulatory: I’m ok with that.

 

 

WHAT’S NEXT?

I mean, the precedent is there...

Since I got gold in the novice division, I wouldn’t feel right doing it again, so if I do compete in another grappling tournament, it’ll be at the white belt non-novice level.  That does pose an interesting challenge, as I technically don’t even have a white belt in a grappling martial art, but typically people sandbag DOWN rather than up, so I can’t imagine anyone will get too upset about that.

 

What I’d REALLY love to do next is get in a boxing smoker.  I’ve trained boxing a bunch in my life but never had a chance to get a match.  This gives me hope that I could do something like that. 

 

Until then, I’m keeping my eyes open for other competitive venues.  I’ll do a strongman show if it looks fun, a powerlifting meet if it’s convenient, I do an annual 10-mile race alongside my wife and am open to some more half-marathons, and ultimately just like getting out there, having fun, and NOT training for any of it.  Chaos is the plan!

YOU CAN’T SPRINT A MILE

Once again, slumming around on the internet benefitted me, for in the course of explaining an idea about training I ended up creating an analogy I’m pretty pleased with and intend to share with you, dear reader.  What’s interesting about this is it demonstrates something that we all instinctively “know”, yet are prone to forgetting when it comes time to actually put rubber to the road.  Specifically, I am referring to the idea in the title: “you can’t sprint a mile”.  We all “know” this.  And yes, this WILL require some pedantry to succeed, but you know that’s well within my purview.  The very definition OF a sprint is such that it simply can NOT be maintained FOR a one mile duration (for my non-American audience, feel free to substitute kilometer here, the point remains).  A sprint is an explosive topspeed full out run that can ONLY last for a short duration BECAUSE of the sheer amount of intensity involved in it.  Your heart rate immediately goes into the red zone, lactic acid rapidly fills inside of your muscles, your lungs are on fire, your muscles burn, and you leave it all out there.  Athletes will train their entire lives for the sake of covering 100 meters in the span of less than 10 seconds, the cheetah can hold its top speed for 30 seconds, and we see the 400m “sprint” being recognized as the longest distance sprint event for humans, as after we cross that threshold we are in the realm of middle and long distance running.  Why am I talking so much about running on a blog that is primarily focused on lifting things (despite the pivot toward “physical transformation” vs “bigger and stronger”)?  Because this lesson absolutely applies universally to all matters of physical transformation: we can NOT maintain a sprint for long distances.

This is why the Juggernaut applies a more "slow and steady" approach

 

Wherein do we observe sprinting efforts in the realm of physical transformation?  It is in those specific efforts TO transform that we are “sprinters”.  The body enjoys homeostasis.  It enjoys it so much that it will FIGHT to maintain its own status quo.  Transformation is metabolically expensive: either the body must create new tissue in response to a demand stimulus to do so (through resistance training) OR the body reduces tissue when there is a demand to do so (typically in the form of an imposed deficit of nutrition), and in the case of the latter we manipulate the body to prioritized muscle OVER fat: imagine the degree of trickery necessary to achieve that outcome!  Thus, in order to trigger these responses, SPRINTING is necessary.  A casual jog will not suffice, nor will a hard running effort: we must employ a sprinting effort in order to create enough demand upon the body that it determines that maintaining homeostasis is actually MORE demanding than changing. 

 

When we observe those protocols effective at achieving physical transformation, we observe sprints.  Super Squats, Mass Made Simple, 5/3/1 Building the Monolith, Feast/Famine/Ferocity, Deep Water Beginner, Deep Water Intermediate-all 6 week sprints (both training AND nutritionally: hello gallon of milk a day/1.5lbs of ground beef and a dozen eggs a day/a loaf of bread and a jar of peanut butter and jelly in a backpack/the sheer magnitude of deep water eating).  The Velocity Diet?  A 28 day sprint.  The 10000 kettlebell swing challenge?  A 20 day sprint.  All of these sprints are absolutely fantastic at being the catalyst for physical transformation and, in turn, NONE of them can be sustained indefinitely.   

Folks, it's got "Velocity" in the name...just think about it

 

Dan John refers to it as “park bench-bus bench”, 5/3/1 has programmed deloads, DoggCrapp has “blast and cruise” (and, in turn, the blasts of DoggCrapp are ABSOLUTELY sprints), Super Squats has you alternate between 20 rep squats and 5x5, and even Deep Water’s advanced phase could be argued to be a period of non-sprinting, but in all instances, after the sprint comes the rest and recovery.  Why?  Because you can’t sprint a mile.  And if you TRY to do so, all you get is a TERRIBLE mile time.  What would happen if you actually attempted to sprint a mile?  You’d burst out of the starting line, blast ahead of all the other runners…and MAYBE if you’re one of the top athletes in the world, you’d clear the first quarter of a mile in a little over 40 seconds…and then just flat out die.  Your “sprint” from there would rapidly descend into a plodding, labored, exhausted death march, the entire time getting passed by weekend warriors and parents pushing babies in strollers.  In turn, this is why those who run the 1600m DON’T employ this strategy and, in turn, why sprinters don’t train this way TO sprint.  What do sprinters do when they train the sprint?  They sprint!  And then the rest, recover, and sprint again.  Why?  Because to do so is to ensure quality repetitions OF the sprint, rather than reinforcing poor technique and performance by attempting to “sprint” while still under fatigue.

 

So first, that there speaks to why Easy Strength works (which Dan John can explain much better in his Easy Strength Omnibook AND Easy Strength for Fat Loss) and it also explains why the mainwork in 5/3/1 tends to be so light, but in the context of physical transformation allow me to finally arrive at my original point: our sprinting efforts can only be maximized when we approach them in a state wherein we CAN apply maximal sprinting effort.  Which means: if we try to sprint TOO long OR if we try to sprint before we are recovered from the previous sprint, we will simply be unable to apply a full sprint effort TO the sprint.  Instead, we will employ, at best, a fast run, but realistically even THAT will most likely be beyond our capabilities if we TRULY sprinted during our sprint. 

Most likely at about this pace

 

This becomes an issue for those that seek to engage in long sprints: they will find that their results may be significant at the start, but they rapidly decline, and quite possibly regress, as time goes on.  The yearlong “bulks” that start off so promising and end with a trainee resembling a melting candle, 6 month long “cuts” wherein the trainee ends up with dark circles around their eyes, no muscle on the extremities, and STILL a spare tire around the waist, and so many other Icarus like stories wherein the ambition of the trainee simply cannot match the degree of effort necessary to achieve these ends.  There is nothing wrong with a goal of great physical transformation, it is simply an unfortunate reality that patience and nuance are necessary in the pursuit of these goals.  That intense drive to succeed is outstanding, make use of it!...for a short time.  And then back down, recover, regroup so that you can do it again!

 

For say we go back to our sprinter attempting his 1 mile race.  Let’s say, instead of trying to maintain the sprint for 1 mile, they sprint until they experience fatigue, begin walking until they feel recovered and then decide to sprint again?  Those in the running “know” may understand this as the “Galloway Method”, or even simply the “Fartlek” (speed play) training method, but in either case, once again: the precedent is there.  We CAN cover longer distances WITH fast runs so long as periods of reduced intensity are employed between the efforts as a means to facilitate recovery.  Rather than trying to maintain a top effort for the entire time, we recognize that we can actually go faster by GOING SLOWER, for in the periods of slowness we prep ourselves for maximal speed.

A sentiment expressed by someone who is, by all accounts, a little slow

 

And hell, depending on your perspective, one CAN attempt to sprint for long DURATIONS, but it would have to be done in opposite directions.  In Dan John’s “Mass Made Simple”, he speaks about the significance of starting out lean BEFORE engaging in a mass gaining protocol, which perfectly mirrors up with Jamie Lewis’ approach in “Feast, Famine and Ferocity”, which in and of itself effectively contains 2 sprints run back to back: a 2-4 week protein sparing modified fast during the famine, and 4 weeks of “feasting”.  Both are absolutely sprinting efforts, but run in such opposite directions that it effectively resets the body in both cases to be prepared FOR the upcoming sprint.  I’ve frequently espoused that the value of the famine is less so about fat loss and moreso about prepping the body to absorb the nutrients form the upcoming feast.  And THIS principle is also not without precedent: bodybuilders reference the “post show rebound” as an excellent time for rapid maximal growth, after going through a HARD period of serious depletion.   These folks are cautioned about not sprinting TOO hard in their regaining, sure, but they are just as equally cautioned about NOT trying to maintain that competition level of leanness for any longer than absolutely necessary.  The sprint to leanness has ended: it’s time to cool down before we start again.

 

Honestly, I could keep writing about this.  There’s so many instances and opportunities present to explore this notion.  But consider just how much of it is based on something we all instinctively understand, and realize, in turn, how often these things can apply to the realm of physical transformation.  Take the lessons learned and apply them!  Many of these things are universalisms because the rules that govern the universe apply UNIVERSALLY.  Don’t try to sprint a mile: make the most OF the sprints and then do what it takes to get ready again.