Tuesday, May 28, 2024

ACT, DON’T THINK (IN EXTREMES)

I’ve frequently written about the extreme methods I’ve employed in my pursuit of physical transformation, to include extreme programs such as Super Squats, Mass Made Simple, Deep Water and 5/3/1 Building the Monolith, alongside extreme nutritional methods such as a gallon of milk a day, the dozen eggs and 1.5lbs of meat from Building the Monolith, the Velocity Diet and my nearly zero carb carnivore-esque approach that I’m currently employing.  I’ve also engaged in extreme bouts of conditioning training and taken extreme competitive measures, such as doing NO training whatsoever before going for 10 mile races, grappling competition and strongman competitions.  I live in extremes as, quite frankly, I find that simpler than a nuanced existence…but I don’t THINK in extremes.  No, quite the opposite: my THINKING is moderate and balanced, which is what AFFORDS me the ability to act in extremes…at least, compared to those of you I observe who think so much IN extremes that you can only act moderately…and achieve moderate outcomes.


I assure you this was NOT achieved with a gradual calorie reduction, macro counting, and 3 30 minute cardio sessions a week

Examples?  Of course.  The primary focus here is on the very subject OF physical transformation.  I recognize that, despite my extreme measures, I’m only going to achieve GRADUAL results in my pursuit.  Physical transformation is NOT the process of the caterpillar turning into a butterfly: spending a brief period in a cocoon before emerging radically and completely transformed.  No: physical transformation is a process of maturation: going from adolescent to adulthood with a long, awkward, sustained period of puberty.  That puberty is the phase where transformation occurs…and the phase that trainees are hoping they can bypass (much like we hoped we could bypass REAL puberty and avoid all that unpleasantness), but, no matter how hard we wish and think it: it’s an inevitable part of the process.  At least so much if we actually wish to achieve success.

 

I realize I gave no actual example in the above, despite saying “examples” as my leadoff, but my regular readers are already aware of the insanity inherent in my string of consciousness style of writing.  So let me get to that: the primary example of this is “the lean bulk”.  How is that “extreme”?  Wouldn’t that be considered moderate?  It’s about trying not to be extreme and “overbulk”, right?  NO!  It is a byproduct OF extreme thinking….primarily because it presupposes that there was originally ONLY the choice of “lean bulk” and “overbulk”.  Specifically, it presupposes this idea that a trainee can go from “not fat” to “fat” at a rate so incredibly fast that there is NO opportunity for intervention, and that the ONLY possible solution to prevent this non-problem is to engage in a “lean bulk” vs a “bulk”.


It would seriously take mutant genes to have this sort of different outcome

 


What IS a lean bulk?  A lean bulk is moderate action in response to extreme thinking: because the trainee is so terrified of accidentally “overbulking” and “getting fat”, they try to add as LITTLE fat as possible in the pursuit of gaining muscle which, in turn, results in adding as little MASS as possible, primarily because they try to keep their nutritional margins so thin out of fear of accidentally succeeding in the pursuit of getting bigger that they often undereat and do not provide their body the necessary fuel to recover and add tissue to their body.

 

What’s more, think of the OTHER extreme thinking that goes into the terrified lean-bulker: they think that there is NO way they could possibly lose whatever fat they can from bulking via a dedicated fat loss phase…something that all other folks that have achieved success in physical transformation have all managed to accomplish.  OR, perhaps their extreme thinking has lead them to believe a fat loss phase is going to somehow be SO insufferable that they need to avoid it at ALL costs by means of a lean bulk…which is, again, extremist thinking that leads to moderate action and, in turn, moderate results.  In either case, these trainees need to think moderately and ACT extremely…and not just here!


Seriously: you aren't doing this


Because, in turn, these trainees also TRAIN moderately as a result of their extreme thinking.  BECAUSE they have convinced themselves that fat loss phases are insufferable and unsuccessful AND that the risk of overbulking is so significant and rapid that they must engage in some means of intervention by way of a “lean bulk”, they engage in training protocols that are lukewarm at best.  They INTENTIONALLY pursue a “long, slow, gradual bulking phase”…as though it were some sort of badge of honor to plod along, barely achieving results, taking before and after photos where people have to ask “which one is which?”  Why?  Primarily because, in their refusal to actually EAT enough to fuel extreme efforts, they relegate themselves to lukewarm, moderate modalities…and achieve those very results.

 

The kind of training that promotes RADICAL transformation is going to require radical amounts of food to recover from radical amounts of effort.  Dan John calls these programs “bus bench” programs, suggesting they best be run twice a year, and during a time where one can wholly vest themselves into the program and recovery.  His classic example from his own programming is “Mass Made Simple”, and once you’ve tried to squat your bodyweight for 50 reps without racking the bar AFTER engaging in heavy barbell complexes, you’ll understand exactly WHY this meets that mark.  You’ll know the same feeling when you go on a vision quest between sets 6 and 7 of your 10x10 set of squats with 2 minutes rest on Deep Water and actually dream about selling all of your lifting equipment, giving up the sport entirely, and starting over.  Or when you spend 15 minutes staring at your feet in the shower after your first day of Building the Monolith wondering “what the f**k have I gotten myself into?” 


Yup

 


And in bringing up Dan John’s “Bus Bench” principle, I acknowledge in turn his “Park Bench” programs: those very moderate, slow, gradual programs that the extreme thinkers felt necessary to undertake for extreme results…how completely backwards.  I pursue these extreme measures knowing FULL WELL that the outcome will be moderate, that the “secret” is time and consistency, but that the timeline is punctuated with bouts of extreme FOLLOWED by moderate.  Simple, basic periodization: some phases of eating and training dedicated to one goal, some to another.  The extreme thinkers want to believe you just pick ONE way of eating and training and do it for the rest of your life: they refuse to acknowledge a moderate way of thinking wherein we achieve balance by having periods of feast and periods of famine (which, speaking of, is another fantastic dietary intervention to employ as a means of accomplishing physical transformation…which I’ve discussed previously).

 

We ACT extreme BECAUSE we think moderately.  This thinking frees us to be extreme in action, with the full expectation, awareness and understanding that this is what achieves us those consistent, moderate results that, over a long enough timeline, accumulate into greatness. 

Friday, May 24, 2024

BOOK REVIEW: DAN JOHN’S “THE ARMOR BUILDING FORMULA: BODYBUILDING FOR REAL PEOPLE”

**INTRO**

Get ready for another instant classic


Dan John has once again released another book, and I, once again, voraciously consumed it, because Dan John could write instructions on a tube of toothpaste and I would read every single word of it.  In turn, I’ll save you all the suspense of reading this full review just to say: yes, BUY Dan’s latest book, because irrespective of if you run the program(s) in it, the book itself is pure concentrated Dan John gold and absolutely worth any price tag.  And, since the book JUST came out and I JUST finished reading it, I want to be clear that I am not reviewing the PROGRAM(S) in the book, but just the book itself.

 

But I certainly see myself using what’s in the book someday.

 

**WHERE AND WHAT**


I constantly have this question


 

To start, you can get the book here

 

https://danjohnuniversity.com/bookstore

 

There are 3 books listed.  Do yourself a favor and buy all 3, BUT, if you want the one I’m talking about, it’s the one listed “The Armor Building Formula: Bodybuilding for Real People eBook”

 

And that, in turn, describes WHAT this book is: bodybuilding for real people.  In that sense, bodybuilding does not mean “bodybuilding”: the competitive event wherein you put on posing trunks, step out on stage and get evaluated on your physique, nor is this a book to achieve the goals OF that event.  This is a very classical sense of the word bodybuilding: to build one’s body, through the concentrated effort of resistance training, in order to specifically achieve an increase in the size of one’s muscles (and, ideally, muscles that are pleasing to the eyes of others).  And by “Real People”, he’s referring to those of us that live in the real world and have real world obligations (work, family, school, etc) and don’t get to live the influencer lifestyle of being able to train for hours a day everyday.

 

There’s a fair chance that YOU are a real person who is also more interested in Dan John’s bodybuilding than in “bodybuilding”, so you may find that the contents of the book appeal to you.

 

**WHAT YOU GET**

Nor should you with this book


Inside the book is THE Armor Building Formula, which is Dan John’s bodybuilding program that is entirely reliant on just kettlebells.  Before you stop reading because you don’t have/don’t like kettlebells, there is a section with barbells too, I’ll talk about that too.  But yes: you get Dan’s program in this book.

 

“Armor Building” is here because it references an idea Dan has regarding “armor building” in the athletic sense: putting on the muscle in the right spots that allow a collision athlete to be able to handle what is thrown at them.  BUT it ALSO references Dan John’s “Armor Building Complex” (ABC), which is a kettlebell complex that does a fantastic job of accomplishing this very goal of building armor.  The ABC is comprised of 2 double kettlebell cleans, 1 double kettlebell press, and 3 double kettlebell front squats.  It is a fantastic full body complex that hits just about everything, and can be used to absolutely blow out your lungs, finish out a kettlebell certification, get strong AND, in the case of this book, bodybuilding.

 

The OTHER half of the Armor Building Formula is the kettlebell clean and press, with Dan providing 4 specific pressing variations to satisfy to ADHD demands of any trainee.  Dan makes a compelling argument for WHY the KB Clean and Press reigns in the world of physique building, specifically referencing how a pair of big strong shoulders and well developed glutes tend to be the secret to a wonderful physique.  Given my own prescription in “Chaos is the Plan”, you know I’m a fan of this philosophy.

 

In the book, Dan details an 8 week program to follow for the Armor Building Formula.  In true Dan John style, there are no prescribed weights, reps or sets: merely guidelines BUT, with an end goal in weeks 7 and 8: 30 ABCs in 30 minutes, and 100 KB clean and presses.  Very similar to Mass Made Simple, you know the goal going in (squat your bodyweight for 50 reps) and you know the method: it’s on you to do the work.

 

**BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE**

Fun fact: he literally NEVER said that.  Go Mandella effect


 

Also contained in the book is “The Barbell Armor Building Formula”: a program that can be run with just a barbell.  Dan John’s Barbell ABC is premised around 2 movements: the “continuous clean and press” and the front squat.  For those of you that speak strongman, the continuous clean and press is “clean each rep and press”, as opposed to “clean and press away”, wherein you clean the weight once and then do all your presses.  With this, Dan gives you 3 programs to be run sequentially for a total of 11 weeks, followed by another 8 week barbell program that includes a few more movements (curl, press, row and deadlift) which, with some breaks, totals out to 20 weeks of training. 

 

On top of THIS, Dan ALSO gives you a prescription on how to perform the ABC if you only have one kettlebell, along with what to do if you only have mixed loads (no 2 KBs of the same weight). 

 

He ALSO includes methodology on including his “Easy Strength” program into these bodybuilding programs, which I personally appreciated because it meant I wasn’t absolutely off my rocker when I combined Easy Strength with Mass Made Simple.

 

Dan ALSO includes a few other programs in the book, one simply titled “A Bonus Program”, which requires a bit more equipment (most notably, a machine row), one of Reg Park’s programs, a sample of Frank Zane’s programming (more as an example of what the book ISN’T…but hey, it’s still there), and some helpful warm up instructions too.

 

**WHAT YOU ALSO GET**

 

This is a total turkducken of a book

Just tons and tons of nuggets of Dan John wisdom, all on the topic of bodybuilding for sure, but also very easy to expand into the realm of for real training in general, and life as well.  Dan goes into topics on warming up, cooling down, the value of walking, nutrition, the science of muscular development, historical precedents, strength standards, etc.  It’s 198 pages, and they’re all pretty awesome.

 

**WHAT COULD BE DONE BETTER?**


If you're served a plate of newts, eat the biggest newt first




 

If you are the kind of guy that just wants someone to lay out a program for you: that’s not this book.  It takes a LOT of reading to even get to the program in the first place, and once you get there, it’s in a narrative style, rather than a prescriptive style.  I, personally, PREFER that manner of delivery, and, in turn, enjoyed the hell out of this book, but I know that some folks are going to get chapped about this.

 

I’ve heard Dan speaking about this book a bunch on his podcast, and he actually almost quoted whole sections of it in answering some questions (which is awesome, because it’s like you have a printed copy of his podcast), but despite all the time and effort reading, reviewing and editing, there’s still a few typos and sentences that start and end the same (something like “lifting weights is one of the greatest ways to achieve physical transformation is lifting weights”).  Given my blog (and most likely this very review) is full of these issues, I’m not one to judge, but those paying for a product might be put off by it.

 

Some of the sections in the book are just blatant reprints of articles previously written by Dan.  They’re still incredibly on topic and value added in the book, but if you’ve already read them before, it can feel like you got stiffed out of content.  But, of course, that’s a GOOD thing as well: the fact I was upset there wasn’t even MORE content there means I enjoyed the hell out of it.  I’ve read my fair share of books that I wished would just be over.

 

The only thing keeping this from being a for real “all in one” manual is a lack of actual instruction on how to perform the movements in the program.  Mass Made Simple contained that, which I felt was pretty awesome.  In addition, I WISH Dan had released this book in 2020, for his sake and the sake of the world, because he would have made a killing giving people full on programs they could run with just some kettlebells or a barbell, and we all would have gotten a lot more jacked if we had this resource.

 

**WHAT ABOUT MASS MADE SIMPLE?**

Yes, have some!


 

That’s the most immediate question: why would I read and follow THIS Dan John bodybuilding book and not his other one?  This is just plain different from MMS, and that’s not a bad thing.  MMS is another fantastic book also full of Dan John wisdom on the subject of building mass, but his audience there is less “real people” and more “real athletes”.  To run that program, you have to be ready to really do some suffering and put in the work in the gym and at the table.  You also have to be willing to set aside 6-7 weeks of your life to really dedicate yourself to the effort.  In turn, I honestly like the idea of new trainees taking on MMS, because it’s a very solid gut check, recalibrates expectations of the self, and Dan does a great job walking the trainee through the entire program, to include instruction on the movements themselves. 

 

The Armor Building Formula seems far more sustainable than MMS.  Dan recommends MMS be run, at most, 2x a year, whereas the ABF definitely has legs to go on for long stretches.  ABF is more akin to a baseline 5/3/1 program, while MMS is more like Super Squats, if I were to employ analogy.

 

**SHOULD YOU GET IT?**




 

Absolutely, 100%.  No matter your goals or your equipment, you are sure to get something out of this book. 

Wednesday, May 15, 2024

THE STRENGTH STAT IS BROKEN: GO BE A MUNCHKIN

The title of this post is an absolute word salad for those of my readers who aren’t versed in Dungeons and Dragons (shame on you!), so allow me to provide a brief explanation before diving into the subject at hand.  In DnD, there are 6 core statistics that make up your character: strength, dexterity, constitution (endurance/hardiness), wisdom, intelligence and charisma.  You can generally score between 3 and 18 points on these stats, by rolling 3 six sided die, 18 representing the absolute peak potential and 3 representing the lowest achievable rating while still being functional.  18 intelligence is Einstein, 3 intelligence is end of life Nietzsche (ouch).  What is a munchkin?  In DnD, they’re a “powerplayer”: someone that is focused on maximizing strengths and minimizing weaknesses in order to become overpowered while staying within the rules of the game.  They exploit loopholes and obscure rules and by-laws in order to be the most powerful character they can be.  In life, we, ourselves, can become munchkins, and we do so by maximizing our strength stat.  Why?  Because the strength stat is broken: it’s completely unfair compared to the other stats.


Honestly, I should have titled the post this...

 


Right away, I’ve gone full bro-mode here: “intelligence is important, by biceps are importanter”.  But, again, I’m going to use the very rules of DnD to explain this.  And, once again dear readers: I am most likely an elder-statesman to you, so realize my knowledge of DnD stopped at 3.5 edition, so if what I say upsets you 5th editioners: deal.  In my previous discussion of DnD, I brought up the classes you could be: your character’s profession, wherein I explained that barbarism is equivalent to magic.  Well, before we determine our class, we determine our RACE: what order of being we belong to.  Stolen almost directly from the Lord of the Rings, one can choose from Humans (how boring), Elves, Gnomes, Dwarves, Halflings (Hobbits), and then half-breeds: Half-Elves (half human, half elf) and Half-Orcs (Half human, half orc).  Why do I bring that up?  Because, aside from Humans being a baseline race, each race is granted distinct advantages and disadvantages, with the goal being that these all balance out and that there is no one superior race to choose (as that tends to become a VERY sensitive topic).  We’ll lets analyze this, shall we?

 

I’m not going to recite the entire player’s manual to you, but here’s a quick overview: there is only one race that does NOT get some sort of bonus to their resistance to certain magics, a specialized ability to fight certain other races, or a natural affinity to cast spells.  This race’s only advantages are an ability to see well in low light (which pretty much every other race has as well) and a bonus to strength: the Half-Orc.  Yup: my favorite race.  And I get to explain why here.  Once again: remember that these races are supposed to be balanced for equal play: otherwise, everyone would pick the “best” race and there’d be no reason to play the others.  So what does that mean?  That means a bonus to strength is EQUAL to a bonus to any other stat PLUS magic resistance, natural casting ability, bonuses to fighting certain races, etc.  A bonus to strength is equal to ANY other bonus PLUS another bonus.  THAT is how valuable strength is in Dungeons and Dragons: a FANTASY game, wherein you can gain the ability to cast magic spells, summon demons, heal injuries with the touch of your hand, command animals telepathically, transform into a werewolf, KILL PEOPLE WITH MUSIC, etc: simply being really strong is equal to that.  Think how mind boggling that is.


That's literally what he is...and he's a Super Hero

 


Once again: we can use this to our advantage.  If strength is THAT valuable in a fantasy game, just imagine how valuable that is in real life where we DON’T have access to all that other fantasy stuff?  When we are but mundane: forced to live a mundane and simple existence, where technology is our only “magic”, we can separate ourselves and create our own magical racial advantages simply by becoming stronger.  And yes: it’s such a direct and hamfisted metaphor for overcoming genetics that it’s absolutely ridiculous, but, in turn, I love it.  The genetic advantage of the half-orc is being stronger than all the other races.  In turn, you can overcome the genetic advantages of all others: those that are naturally more athletically inclined, leaner, smarter, faster, etc etc, simply by outclassing them in strength.  And what does it take to become stronger?  Effort, BARBARISM: that same variable we outlined earlier as being equal to magic.  Yup, we’ve come full circle here: the Half-Orc Barbarian, once again, is THE superior choice. 


It SHOULD be obvious here


 

Are those other stats cool?  Oh sure, they’re plenty nifty, and you can definitely build a fun character to play with them…but if we want to identify what the true “best” stat is, it’s clearly strength.  In order to match strength, you have to match it with a stat PLUS a bonus, and good luck getting those bonuses here in the real world.  But strength, amazingly enough, is pretty cheap to acquire: it just takes effort, consistency and time.  And NONE of those are stats.  Sure, some constitution can help in the acquisition of strength, but let’s remember to keep our eye on the prize here.  I’m talking specifically to you folks out there thinking that you can maximize your strength stat by maximizing your intelligence score first.  Sorry dude: you’re not going to THINK your way stronger.  It doesn’t matter how many books you read (steal), podcasts you listen to, TikToks you consume, forums you terrorize, etc etc: strength is a stat that is raised through grinding.  And really, if I were to claim one of the other stats to help with strength, it’d be WISDOM: not intelligence.  Intelligence is knowing that a tomato is a fruit: wisdom is knowing not to make a fruit salad with a tomato.  So many dudes out there trying to out-think this strength acquisition pursuit fail to apply any sort of degree of common sense or to learn from their own experience or the experience of others.  Not everything has been proven by study (and, in fact, NOTHING is proven by study: it is merely observed), and oftentimes the most valuable lessons out there are decades ahead of the science, and if we wait for it to catch up, our moment will have passed.


Hey team full ROM: get bent

 


Go become a munchkin on your own: go maximize your strength stat.  Give yourself SUCH an unfair advantage in life that all the other players will assume you are cheating.  With strength, you will have longevity, as SO many of our elderly folks end up in such a bad way simply because they lack the strength to accomplish daily functions.  With strength, you will have vitality, as lean body tissue has SO many positive correlations with improved metabolic health, insulin sensitivity, about to effective partition nutrients, etc.  With strength, you will have freedom, for lack of fitness limits SO many people from having the wonderful experiences of visiting new places and taking in new experiences.  With strength, you can be an inspiration to others, for how many of you, dear readers, took up the pursuit of physical transformation because you observed strength displayed by someone else?

 

The strength stat is broken: go take advantage of that.

 

  

Thursday, May 9, 2024

DOGGCRAPP HOME GYM SURVIVAL GUIDE

Based off some inputs received from my last piece on running DoggCrapp with a home gym, I’m going to share my experience and ideas on how to make this program viable if, like me, your misanthropy compels you to avoid human contact whenever possible and/or you train at such bizarre hours that no reasonable institution can serve your schedule.  Whatever your reason, for you garage gorillas and basement behemoths: this is for you.

 

**THE PROBLEM**


How can I possibly train without a cable crossover machine!?


 

* Dante Trudel has expressed that DoggCrapp should not be run with a home gym.  This is a matter of logistics: you have 3 different workouts for 2 different workout days you need to accomplish (A1-B1-A2, B2-A3-B3), which is going to mean 3 different movements for each muscle for just one standard split. Additionally, once you stop progressing on a movement, you are to swap it out in order to find a new thing to progress on.  Dante (rightfully) contends that it will be too easy to run out of movements when equipped with only a home gym, whereas a fully stocked commercial/bodybuilding gym will have a wide enough variety of equipment that there will be no difficulty implementing a variety of movements to succeed.

 

**THE SOLUTIONS**

We will find a way or we will make one!


 

**BASICS**


Getting back to nature


 

* One of the quickest parallels to establish is that DoggCrapp “feels” a lot like Westside Barbell Conjugate’s max effort day.  In turn, take some inspiration from those that inspired Westside Barbell: the Original Westside Barbell club in Culver City.  Specifically, look toward how these guys created variety in an era where there WAS so little to be had.  In the absence of a million different specialty barbells and machines, these guys became the masters of playing with grip widths and stances in order to create “new” movements.  We all know wide grip, close grip and standard grip bench, but what about just taking the grip in a finger width instead of full on close grip?  What about feet flared out squats vs toes pointed forward?  How about some duck footed deadlifts?  To say nothing of deadlifts with weightlifting shoes on vs flat soled shoes, or flipping the script there with squatting.  And if your bench happens to be an adjustable bench, every single angle you can incline it at is a BRAND new movement.  And from there you can combine things, like low incline close grip bench press vs high incline wide grip and all the flavors in between.  Even armed with just a barbell and a rack, you can create a LOT of variety, but it WILL require diligence in execution.  It’s easier to shut off your brain and squat exactly the same way you always do while changing out the barbell than it is to use the same equipment in a different way, but that intention in training can result in the changes you need.

 

* Still operating with just plates and a rack, think about how you can play around with ROM.  Standing on plates will put you higher up, and using smaller diameter plates can create a deficit.  This can be helpful with rows and deadlift variants.  You can also elevate the starting height of a pull by placing plates underneath the plates.  And, of course, you can spring for some patio pavers like I use for ROM progression mat pulls.  And the rack itself can also be useful for changing the starting height of various movements.  Partials may not be the best idea in a bodybuilding program, but it’s still A way to get some variety.

 

**NEW TOYS**


They can't all be winners


 

Ok, so now we’re going to flesh out the home gym a bit because we can only do so many deadlift variations before we want to blow our brains out (for those that are curious, that number is 2, because f -- k the deadlift), so now let’s talk about the toys we can buy to maximize our training effect.

 

*LOW COST/LOW FOOTPRINT/HIGH IMPACT*


VERY high impact

 


* Bands and Chains: Once again, looking to Westside for inspiration, look at ALL those variations you came up with above and realize you can attach a band or chain to them and you’ve suddenly create a variation OF your variation.  This one simple addition can exponentially expand your options.  And bands work both ways: against AND reverse, so now you have even MORE options to play with.  And take it from me: widowmaker squats against bands will pretty much blow your soul apart.  And Dan John has gone on to say that, if he could do it all over again, he’d always squat with chains.  Bands and chains can even be used with dumbbell movements, you can use them with chins (against, band assisted or against bands), you can do movements with JUST bands (pressdowns, rows, etc), and many more options available.  And these things take up minimal space in a home gym.

 

* A landmine: You technically can get away with just shoving a barbell in a corner, but landmine attachments tend to be pretty cheap and will spare your equipment.  And, once again, this is one of those things that opens up a WIDE variety of new movements with just one small addition.  Landmine work now gives you a lever to work with, which radically changes loading patterns.  And this is assuming you are operating with JUST a landmine: throw some attachments on it and it’s really big.  I like the Viking handle myself, because you get 3 different ways to grip it, which opens up multiple opportunities for presses and rows, but I’ve also implemented it for landmine RDLS and thrusters (not really a DC movement, but still).  And with a solid enough set-up, belt squats with a landmine can absolutely blow up your quads.

 

* Rubber Patio Pavers:  I have written extensively about the value of these things, specifically as it relates to ROM progression training with the deadlift.  These things aren’t that expensive and really open up a lot of options.  You can stand on them to create a deficit, or you can elevate the starting height of various pulls WITHOUT a metal on metal impact you get from plates.  They make excellent platforms to perform calf raises, you can stack them to make squats for box squatting (or box jumping, if you care to do that), use them to set up floor presses/tricep extensions, etc. 

 

* Dip Belt and Loading Pin:  I honestly forgot to include this initially as it seems so obvious, but yes: absolutely get a decent dip belt.  And if you don’t want to buy one, just get a length of 3/8 chain and a solid carabineer.  If you value your skin, thread it through an innertube.  And same with a loading pin: if you don’t want to buy one, make one out of plumbing pipe and a flange.  But either way, this opens up loading opportunities on chins and dips, and also gives you a way to execute calf raises with a new loading mechanism.  You can also do belt squats with a dip belt and loading pin (especially if you stand on those patio pavers I mentioned), and this loadout allows for other weighted stretching opportunities as well (a loaded dip stretch and a hang from a bar are both pretty effective).

 

*HIGH COST/LOW FOOTPRINT/HIGH IMPACT*


Shoulda lifted with his legs

 


* The Ironmaster Collection:  Ironmaster is one of the many adjustable dumbbell makers on the market right now, alongside Bowflex, Powerblocks, Nubell and a few others.  Ironmaster is unique in its design by employing a screw locking mechanism vs a dial/pin system.  This results in a longer adjustment time compared to other dumbbells, but also a sturdier and more “traditional” feeling dumbbell compared to many other adjustable ones on the market.  However, what I like about Ironmaster in particular is how it’s a totally modular system: their dumbbells use the same plates and screws as their kettlebells, and the plates ALSO fit into the weighted vest as well.  The benefit of all of this is that you only need to buy ONE base system to be able to have access to 3 different tools, and those 3 tools will WIDELY expand your training variety.  You can wear the vest for any bodyweight based work AND during your walking for DoggCrapp, and many dumbbell exercises can also be performed with KBs.  Where the KBs really shine is that they are loaded by a single screw vs the two screws needed for the dumbbells, which means you can increase the total load on a KB by the smallest plate available (2.5lbs) vs a 5lb jump.  This allows for a LONG period of sustained progress on your movements: something that Dusty Hanshaw has expressed as a positive with DC training.  Yes: this is going to hit you in the pocketbook initially, but as far as return on investment goes, it can’t be beat.  You will open up a LOT of options buying this system, and it won’t take up a whole lot of space in the gym.  And, for one final plug: hex style dumbbells are pretty awesome for anchoring bands, since they don’t roll.

 

*LOW COST/LOW FOOTPRINT/LOW IMPACT*


I remember when we thought that this was the peak of graphical technology

 


* An axle.  Axles are VERY cheap to make: go to Home Depot and have them cut you a 7.5’ length of 2” plumbing pipe and use gorilla take 16” from the ends to make collars.  You can buy one for about $85 from Titan if you prefer that.  An axle DOES open up some additional training variety, as pretty much anything you can do with a barbell you can do with an axle…but as far as the impact to the pursuit of hypertrophy goes, it’s not going to be terrible significant.  Axle deadlifts are quite brutal, even when strapped up (which you should be) because it creates a deficit AND puts the weight out in front of you AND it has zero flex in it, and axle curls will also blow up your forearms, but an axle squat isn’t really going to change things up on your quads too much.  Axles can also make zercher lifts a little more comfortable, so you’ve got that going for you.  And they won’t take up much space in the gym.

 

*MODERATE COST/MODERATE IMPACT/MODERATE FOOTPRINT*


It's also the drink size I like to order

 


* Trap bar: Do yourself a favor and read Paul Kelso’s trap bar course in his Shrug Book or many of his articles on the topic: you can do a LOT more with a trap bar than just deadlifts.  You can, of course, do those, and you can do them from a deficit or you can elevate them, and if your trap bar has high handles you can pull on those or low handles.  But you can also do rows with a trap bar, which are pretty baller, since the weight is centered on you.  You can also do RDL/SLDLs with it, for another unique take on the movement.  AND you can press with a trap bar, which is a very unique deficit neutral grip press.  There’s JUST enough variety in there that it justifies a place in the training arsenal, compared to something like a marsbar, which is great at the one thing it does, but it’s only going to do one thing.  Trap bars tend to take up a bit more space in the gym.

 

* Safety Squat Bar: The SSB isn’t quite as versatile as the trap bar (although some dudes DO employ it for rolling tricep extensions), but aside from being able to squat with neutral hands, you can also use it for Hatfield squats, you can take your hands off the handles and place them wide on the bar itself to make it more like a cambered bar squat, AND you can flip it around for front squats, which actually makes front squat widowmakers viable, as you have far less chance of choking yourself out.  The SSB is also useful for good mornings, which opens up your hamstring training arsenal, and you can use one with back extensions as well, if that’s your thing.

 

*RUNNER UPS*


Take THAT Vegeta!

 


* Multigrip/Swiss Bar: The theory behind this bar is sound enough, and it does provide you with several different options for pressing, rows, curls, tricep work, etc.  I really SHOULD like this…but I just plain never cared for it.  For benching, they tend to be hard to balance.  I would save the purchase of this for AFTER you’ve gotten all of the above, because with barbells, dumbbells and a landmine you’re already going to be in a pretty good way.

 

* Powertower: These things honestly are pretty awesome in general, but as far as DoggCrapp goes, they give you an option for dips and an option for chins…and that’s it.  Now, if you DON’T have a rack, and only have stands, then this is a great way to open up some chinning options, and dips are a great movement in general.  But as far as a cost per value thing goes, your money could be better spent. 

 

* Niche Specialty Barbells:  In this, I’m including stuff like the cambered bar, Buffalo Bar, Spider Bar, Log, Deadlift Bars, Squat Bars, etc.  Yes: I DO use these things, simply because I HAVE these things, mainly because I’m such a lifting nerd that I collect equipment, but if I were specifically going out of my way to build a “DoggCrapp Home Gym”, these things would cost too much and take up too much space for how much variety they allow.  Many of these are just a 1 for 1 exchange, and often the change in stimulus is practically non-existent.

 

**MY CURRENT SPLIT**


You knew that was coming

 


Just to provide an example of making this work in a home gym, here is my current split with DoggCrapp

 

DAY A1

* Chest: Weighted dips

* Shoulders: Kettlebell Clean and Press

* Triceps: Ultra close grip swiss bar bench

* Back width: Weighted underhand chin

* Back thickness: Low handle trap bar deadlift

DAY B1

* Biceps: Axle curls

* Traps (my own program deviation): Axle shrugs against bands

* Calves: Belt and loading pin calf raises

* Hamstrings: Safety Squat Bar good mornings

* Quads: SSB front squats

DAY A2  

* Chest: Flat dumbbell bench

* Shoulders: Behind the neck barbell press

* Triceps: Close grip axle flat bench lockouts

* Back width: Neutral Grip chins w/chains attached to a dip belt (accommodating resistance) 

* Back thickness: Deadlift off mats (I use a ROM progression here, but you could easily keep the pull height the same and progress traditionally)

DAY B2

* Biceps: KB curls

* Traps: Hise shrugs

* Calves: Calf raise while holding a dumbbell

* Hamstrings: Glute Ham Raises (I know it wasn’t mentioned in the above: it’s definitely more of a niche machine, but I own one so I use it)

* Quads: Squats

DAY A3

* Chest: Axle incline bench

* Shoulders: Trap bar press

* Triceps: High incline KB tricep extensions

* Back width: Angled grip chins against bands

* Back thickness: Viking handle landmine rows

DAY B3

* Biceps: Curls against bands

* Traps: Viking landmine kelso shrugs

* Calves: SSB calf raise

* Hamstrings: Viking landmind deficit SLDL (use 25lb plates to create deficit)

* Quads: SSB squats against doubled bands

 

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Once again, this became SO much more than I expected, and I could honestly write so much more, but I’ll cap it off there.  Hope it was of value!