ON PBJS

 It is absolutely no secret that I am a total unapologetic Dan John fanboy.  My recent posting of “eat the big elephant first” was a total homage to him, and completing his 10k swing challenge in 7 days was made all the more sweeter by him commenting on my work (even if it was most likely VERY tongue in cheek, I’ll take it).  In that regard, his work “Mass Made Simple” dedicates a significant amount of time discussing the merits of a peanut butter and jelly (PBJ) sandwich as a gaining meal.  Specifically: it’s something you’ll actually eat, which is a plus when you’re trying to gain (those of you putting away a dozen eggs a day for 6 weeks on Building the Monolith get this), and, with a low sugar jelly, high fiber bread and some natural peanut butter, it’s honestly not a poor choice nutritionally.  The same people that scoff at eating PBJs tend to be the same people that will rush to put any manner of processed garbage pre-workout or protein/mass gainer supplement into their body without a second thought, or are so concerned with “optimal” nutrition that they can’t understand the point of eating a vegetable, so, in that regard, their opinions don’t matter.  But allow us to further discus the merits of the PBJ, because trust me, I’m going somewhere with this.

You have missed the mark so hard here

 

First, many of my non-American readers are most likely already baffled at a PBJ in the first place, possibly even asking “what is jelly?”  You may know it as jam, but it’s a fruit spread.  The PBJ’s origin is war born, which already makes it hardcore.  Soldiers were allotted bread along with peanut butter and jelly (among other food items) in their food rations on the front line and took to making sandwiches out of the ingredients, then returned home and brought the habit with them, much like prisoners that understand the fine art of combining ramen with canned tuna.  From there, it grew into a staple foodstuff for children across the world…until everyone seemed to develop peanut allergies and now they’re banned on school campuses.  But I digress: if you suffer a similar malady, look into sunflower butter: it’s delicious!

 

And herein we see the beauty of the PBJ: it answers SO many questions.  It’s a meal you can make in a foxhole without any cooking equipment, it gives you energy to fight a war or to grow from a child into an adult (if you’ve never watched a hungry kid going through a growth spurt eat before, it’s insane how much food they can put away), it’s got complete nutrition, it’s healthy “enough”, and it just plain tastes good.  In turn, the PBJ is my answer to SO many nutritional questions.  I spend a lot of time on subreddits and forums where dudes who have ZERO cooking skills are looking to gain, and my answer is always the same: “PBJ”.  “What is a snack I can bring to school/work that doesn’t require refrigeration and is good for gaining?”  PBJ.  “What’s a good breakfast?”  PBJ.  “The day is about to end and I need to mainline some calories.”  PBJ.  Pre-training meal?  Post-training meal?  Intra-training meal?  It just keeps on coming back.

We got you covered

 

And really, I could stop writing right now and be content, but I’m using this post to share with you my “PBJ” philosophy.  I love how the PBJ proper is the one-stop shop for all questions of nutrition, and, in turn, I stumbled across my own PBJ for training.  And ironically enough (warning: not real irony), I discovered it WHILE undertaking the 10k swing challenge from PBJ Prophet Dan John.

 

Allow me to present: THE PBJ

* TABEARTA-Bear Barbell Complexes (a clean into a front squat into a strict press, catch the bar on the back, squat, press over head, return to floor) done in the Tabata protocol of 20 seconds on/10 seconds off for 8 rounds (total of 4 minutes).  I use 95lbs and I get 3 complexes per round by turning it into a Cluster (clean into a thruster) into a back squat thruster.  You are moving FAST if you do that.

* Transition immediately to 5 minutes of burpee chins.  Don’t slack here. The temptation will be to dog it to recover from TABEARTA, but you wanna keep that heart rate jacked.  It helps to establish a baseline goal rep total during this time.

* Finish up with 50kb swings.  I use a 40kg bell, so ideally you want something on the heavier side.

 

This takes a little over 10 minutes, and has become my training PBJ.  It’s what I do when I don’t know what else to do.  If I have 10 minutes and need to train: I do a PBJ.  If I have 20 minutes, I can do 2 of them, just like how, if you are hungry after your PBJ, you can have a second one.  OR, I can do a PBJ and something else, like having a PBJ with a side of something

 

PBJ+Monument to Non-Existence=Sabin Figaro, because you can't wage war on an empty stomach

 

What makes this a PBJ?  Because it covers everything good enough.

Go through your Dan John checklist: push, pull, hinge, squat, loaded carry.  We’re only missing one of those things here, and that’s simply because I’m doing this in a confined space.  Otherwise: vertical pushes during BEAR, horizontal pushes on the burpee.  Pulls on the clean of the bear and the chin of the burpee chin.  Hinge in the BEAR and swing.  Squat in Bear and Burpee Chins. 

 

Is it conditioning?  It certainly is!  We’re doing Tabata, then we’re doing 5 minutes sustained effort, and then an all out blast for a little over a minute.  What tools do we get to train?  Barbell, bodyweight AND kettlebell.  We get to groove the barbell squat from the front AND the back, and our clean and swing gets us some deadlift work.  Are we getting stronger?  Absolutely!  Bigger?  Certainly: you’re hitting ALL the muscles here.

Don't be that guy

 

And like a true PBJ: modifications are possible, if not recommended.  Hell, when I eat a PBJ these days, it’s on keto bread with no sugar added jelly/applebutter/whatever, and in my past life I would use sourdough and honey.  Some of you grew up with parents that lovingly cut the crust off your bread: some of you had to get that experience by buying an “Uncrustable” (protip: they’re better frozen than thawed), some like diagonal cuts, some like vertical, some just eat the whole damn thing, some use almond butter or sunflower seed butter, some use toasted bread, etc etc.  The PBJ of exercise is no different.  I know a dude that uses double snatches instead of swings for the kettlebell work, you can go heavier on the Bears or lighter and go for more reps per round, you could wear a weight vest for the whole thing, go longer on the burpee chins, more reps on the swings, etc etc.  It’s YOUR PBJ: make sure it fills you up and hits the spot.

 

PBJs are the answer to everything.  If you’re ever in doubt, go for a PBJ and then you can move on to the next meal.