LESSONS LEARNED FROM CONAN THE BARBARIAN: BUILD THE BASE FIRST, THEN SPECIALIZE

Once again, it’s incredible how those OUTSIDE the realm of physical transformation understand the process SO much better than those of us inside of it, proof of concept enough that we “get this” on an instinctual, primal, lizard brain level, and it takes the kind of hubris and stupidity that can only be produced by humans to convince ourselves that there is a “better way”.  In today’s diatribe, I reference the phenomenal 80s movie “Conan The Barbarian”, inspired by the works of Robert Howard and his “Conan the Cimmerian” stories, but I wish to make the distinction that I am SPECIFICALLY referring to this movie in this instance.  If you have NOT seen this movie: stop reading right now and go watch it.  It is your birthright to do so, and it will also make it that this post does not spoil anything.  This movie chronicles Conan’s beginnings, including the ransacking of his village as a child, his being taken into slavery, being forced to fight in the pits for his life, and his eventual escape from slavery and journeys as a dangerous man seeking vengeance for the slaughter of his people.  It was a breakthrough role for Arnold, has a banging soundtrack, and viewing it is an anabolic experience.  But, specifically, I want to focus on that early part of the film, for, within it, the filmmakers actually laid out for the viewers a FANTASTIC protocol for physical transformation, which, somehow, we all overlooked, forgot, and reversed.  Conan undergoes a process of developing a BROAD physical base to build from before he goes through a process of specialization to become an incredibly dangerous man, yet so many trainees want to either do this in reverse or completely skip the first part.

Just like skipping leg day

 

When Conan is first captured and sold into slavery, he is put to work on the “Wheel of Pain”, which is one of the most iconic scenes in 80s barbarian film history (which may sound incredibly niche, but is actually a pretty well fleshed out genre of film).  It’s not really stated what the intent is behind this wheel: it’s simply an apparatus that slaves/prisoners are chained to that they push laboriously, day in and day out, with no rest in sight.  The mechanics of it are not unlike a prowler: there’s no eccentric load, you just set your hips and shoulders and push for all you’re worth.  Over the years, we watch Conan’s development laboring under this wheel, going from a scrawny boy into a powerfully built man, each day and each repetition lending itself toward developing a powerful and massive physique: the result of much general toil with no real specific intention behind it.  And, once his time on the wheel has been deemed adequate by outside observers, Conan faces his second phase: time in the pits.

 

Now a fully grown man (“grown” here emphasized, because god DAMN did he get big), Conan is thrown into the pits in order to fight for his life and the fortune of those who wager upon him.  His captors are banking on the premise that Conan’s time under the wheel has given him the physical advantages necessary to be able to take on all comers, for when you observe HOW Conan fights initially, it is clearly the work of an untrained savage (dare I say: a barbarian).  He fights primal and feral, like a caged animal backed into a corner and forced to defend itself.  He bites, gouges, grabs, smashes, and oafishly clubs and swings whatever weapons he manages to acquire.  As time goes on, we see Conan start to develop his own style and approach to combat.  He takes that raw, physical talent of his and is able to sharpen it to a finer point through frequent repetition, practice, refinement, and testing of concepts under the most rigorous possible testing field one could engage in: quite literal “succeed or die” situations.  Much like how, under the era of Miyamoto Musashi, inferior swordfighting styles were weeding by means of killing to owner of the style to prevent it’s flourishing, there was no room for significant error under Conan’s pitfighting phase of training, and lessons had to be learned quickly in order to continue to thrive.  It was from here that Conan entered his final phase of training: specificity.

Just in case you legit have no idea what I'm talking about

 

Yes, after enough time in the pits fighting as a barbarian and developing the basics of combat, Conan’s captures saw fit to get him some REAL training, in order to take that edge he had developed and turn it razor sharp.  We observe him receiving personalized sword instruction from a master instructor, no longer relying on instinct and savagery, but instead learning about technique, precision, efficiency and maximizing capabilities.  It is at the end of this phase that Conan has reached “peak dangerous”: he has all the raw physical strengths granted to him from the Wheel of Pain, the savagery, aggression and instincts granted to him by his time fighting in the pits, and the technique, skill and proficiency afforded to him by direct, one-on-one expert level training and coaching.

 

WHICH IS SUCH AN OBVIOUS WAY TO DO THINGS!  It’s so obvious that fantasy authors and script writers managed to figure it out without ANY advanced education in the realm of physical transformation, yet you have individuals who dare to refer to themselves as coaches that are out there trying to convince new trainees that they need to START with specialization and MAYBE consider building up some GPP when they run into a stall.  Jesus Christ how are we this stupid?  Everyone who WATCHED Conan the Barbarian ALSO totally understood what was going on, and yet we, who call ourselves “ironheads” or “meatheads” or “strength athletes” or “athletes” or any other term expressing our interest, love and passion for physical transformation somehow convinced ourselves that the most obvious approach to physical transformation was wrong and that flipping it on its head would somehow get us where we wanted to go.

Just want to point out that none of this is doctored or edited

 

Learn from Conan: he had it totally figured out.  I upset a LOT of folks on the internet when they ask what they should do to start lifting and I say “Go play a sport for 6 months”, but it’s the absolute truth: if you have NO athletic base, you need to develop that FIRST before you start touching barbells.  It’s taken for granted that a trainee will have such an athletic base, but we currently live in a world where a human can grow to an adult at the age of 18 having NEVER played any manner of sport during that time, and some of these individuals never engaged in any sort of basic outside play either.  No running, jumping, swimming, swinging, crawling, etc etc.  What happens when you throw this adult into the pits?  They get killed within the first 10 seconds: they have NO physical attributes to rely on to allow them an opportunity to discover and refine their inherent savagery.  We need to get in shape BEFORE we get in shape.

 

And again, if you HAD that sports background, it would make total sense to you.  When you show up out of shape, you aren’t able to spend the time necessary to develop the reps to develop the skills, because you gas out too quickly in practice.  If you’ve ever attended a martial arts class, you’ll see this first hand: folks aren’t able to do the drill for the day to develop their skills because they’re winded and their muscles are tired.  Whatever reps they DO drill are sloppy and reinforcing bad technique.  It’d be similar to trying to learn to shoot freethrows after doing 500 lateral raises: your shoulders are just junked up and you can’t get the mechanics right.  But if you get yourself in good shape first (like, generally prepared to do physical stuff…GPP?), when it comes time to learn the skills, you’ll be able to focus on JUST learning those skills, AND you’ll be able to apply all your physical strengths INTO the skills as well.  You’ll be physically able to learn AND physically able to produce.

When you're built like this at 15, you get to be the heavyweight champ at 20

 

And from here, we can move on still to a phase of GENERAL strength training.  It makes no sense for us to try to master the sword when we don’t have any of the necessary aggression, savagery, or reflexes to make use of the weapon in our hand.  Similarly, dedicating ourselves to mastering a handful of lifts makes no sense when we haven’t even developed any sort of rudimentary BASIC strength and coordination with the iron.  There are a LOT of muscles in the body, and they’re all pretty cool at getting bigger and stronger, and to focus on just a handful of them so we can master a few lifts is a surefire way to burn out quick, accumulate overuse injuries and end up neglecting parts that will eventually result in plateauing until we address them.  BUT, if we show up for specialization as a specimen who has spent time developing a broad general base of strength through a wide variety of exercises, we have MUCH more potential to draw from when it comes time to specialize.

 

Because there’s nothing wrong with specialization: it’s the key to maximizing our ability to be dangerous.  But there IS something wrong with trying to specialize at the wrong time.  If Conan attempted to master the sword as a boy, he would have been slaughtered by the first highwayman he came across in his quest for vengeance.  Sword mastery can only carry you so far when you’re 4’ tall and weigh 60lbs.  In turn, if you decide to take on the squat, bench press and deadlift from day 1, you’re most likely going to hit your first stall at about 80lbs.  But, if you decide to spend the necessary time suffering under the wheel and fighting in the pits, when you decide to undertake mastery, you will be able to excel FAR and for long periods of time, being able to rely on all the qualities and attributes you developed leading up to that decision.  While others fumble merely attempting to hold the sword, your physique and instinct will carry you far.

VERY far

 

Learn these lessons from Conan.  Hell, soon enough I can discuss his nutritional wisdom as well.